回复 'elfie' 的评论 : Thank you for sharing, good luck@
elfie 发表评论于
Actually I rarely have any time to think about my parents, even though my mom and I were very close before and I am the only child to her. I feel like I have totally outgrown myself as a child who misses the parents. I have assumed the role of a busy mother of three and I have to work almost everyday to be able to pay the bills and move on with my daily life. There's neither nostalgic memory nor guilt that could push me closer to my mother again. I've been through a lot in life but most importantly I have morphed into an American just like anyone on the streets, or in the workplace. I can hardly see myself as Chinese except for my persistent appearance, which I cannot change. People will always question my ethnicity if they get to know me. My mother, on the other hand, stays at the same mental stage as what it was 25 years ago. Because she never moved an inch from the past, with the same old neighborhood, same old friends. That's a huge difference for us. Can people live together again after decades of separation? I doubt it. Even our faces are unrecognizable. The wrinkles and bags under the eyes probably will alert us: Nobody is young anymore. We all aged significantly. Would that be disappointing? Let's just live in the good memories about the past, with our younger selves, the agile bodies and pretty smiles. Thank you for reading.
elfie 发表评论于
None of us has the desire to live with parents, either his or mine. His dad lives in Ohio with his second wife, that's out of the question. My dad is alive, living in China. So it's out of the question too. My dad and I don't get along so we don't even talk with each other. After all, I can't put all these people together under one roof. It's ludicrous. I'm good with it. The past is the past. I have long since assimilated into my adopted country so I don't adhere to the old country's values anymore. Have you ever seen Americans live with elderly parents in one place? Almost unthinkable. Everyone will feel uncomfortable in that situation, including my mom and my husband. They can't be themselves anymore or they will eventually get blown out like volcanoes. And we are all gonna live one or two decades shorter. I can't imagine it.
Idk. I thought about bringing my mom to U.S but she didn't want to. And I got my own family. I don't think adding another person to the household is a good idea. For most families, it's not a bonus to have the in-law added on. In-laws to the other party that's not the blood relation, are always complicated..