回复 '西岸-影' 的评论 : 有道理!人还是分阶段的,年轻时可以有点刺激打拼一下,但是目的也是为了将来easy,如果年轻时就easy,当然不需要打拼,但是也激发人的创造力。不是每个人都甘于easy。对将来未知不一定是好事,有时候会击垮比较脆弱的人。还是要看人看场景。所以最后有个easy life 也算是人生圆满。
西岸-影 发表评论于
人类社会追求的生活目标是a peace of mind,这是为什么社会主义性质的从摇篮到坟墓的模式在上个世纪吸引人的原因,瑞典直到1974年才放弃这个模式,原因是财政上无法维持。
就是说,不是人们不想,而是做不到。
因此所谓easy life具体指的就是对未来可预测,其实整个人类科学的发展也是为了这个目的,可预测,比如预测灾难,地震。。。都是为了能降低突发事件导致的心理压力。
心理压力降低人类的寿命,这不是秘密或者有争议,甚至癌症的发生都可以归结于这个原因。
而要做到这一点,一个人类可以做的事情是长期规划,几十年的长期规划。规划未必就能达到目标,导致浪费也是可能的,但不规划是一定不能对未来准备的。
在美国生活的第一年后,得到的感觉就是在美国你永远不知道明天会有什么麻烦发生,可能只是小事情,但当时作为学生来讲,一次停错车被罚款25美元也是难以负担的,因为这等于是当时一周的食品费用。
但美国也是因为这种模式的生活而让人感到刺激,未知会让一次机会的发生对心理的刺激很强,远比那种已知未来产生的刺激强,肾上腺激素爆发,让你觉得生活多样化,有趣。现代心理学的成果之一就是证明人类的贪婪是无限的,这就包括对未知的贪婪。
所以,当你追求easy life的时候,也就失去了生活的乐趣。在美国典型的例子就是所谓trust fund head,这是年轻人在很小的时候就被父母建立了trust fund,一辈子不愁生活,甚至不需要上学。
但他们的生活也是最无趣的,因为没有为了生活打拼的心理需求,也没有能力,混吃等死。
世界上没有什么是十全十美的。
枫叶糖浆007 发表评论于
回复 'elfie' 的评论 : 不需要怪background不同啊。大家移民的都一样,要和locals compete. So what? Some lose some win.
你是太累了,淹没了母亲对自己孩子本能的爱。如果有忧郁症应该要去看看医生。在国外是保护弱势群体的。家庭的事,外人很难说三道四。你自己要想清楚做出最有利于自己的决定。你听上去确实需要有一个倾诉的地方。
elfie 发表评论于
There are a lot of reasons that he makes more than I do. We could be making the same amount if I wasn't from China or never been a mother of three. He has a much better chance because of the different background.
All these notwithstanding, being a mother of multiple children reduces income in life. It's time consuming. I've been staying with my children for 10 years at home. Now he makes 5 to 6 times more than I do annually.
I don't understand why people like to stay close to adult children. I don't. Because my life will be finally open and free after they grow up. And they won't need me anymore. It's a short window of 20 to 30 years. I think we should enjoy the children free years, make more friends and that's something to look forward of.
枫叶糖浆007 发表评论于
回复 '硅谷工匠' 的评论 : Those who realized they have an easy have, would have a easy life.
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对的,有的人不知不觉就有了easy life,然后自己又认识到,这个真的是造化。求不来,也奋斗不来。
硅谷工匠 发表评论于
Those who realized they have an easy have, would have a easy life.
It's probably the ideal life for you. I just want more money. All our money is his, he earns more and is a penny pincher. Isn't it painful? I really, really want to get divorced but can't afford it. Isn't it painful?
Children living close by? Of course they are. They are only 12, 9 and 6 years old. I don't care if they live close by when they grow up. I want to be free of mom's duties someday. Then I can spend all that I earn on myself.
Chinese food? Don't care. Parents? I don't have to worry about them.
Chinese friends? No, thank you. I have Jewish friends. I don't want to have anything to do with Chinese women. Hard to find, hard to deal with.
House and car, yes I have them. So what? If I have to live with someone that I don't like anymore for the next few decades, these things won't make me happy.
Freedom from credit card debt, husband and children free, this is my ideal life.
Hang out with the people I like in the community, this is my ideal life.