椿芽 - toona buds? toona sprouts?
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我问了我的美国同事,都不是。
很早期,还看不见叶子的时候才叫 buds;种子破土而出,发出的芽和子叶才叫 sprouts。。。他看了我的香椿芽的照片,说这种情况恐怕只能叫 young leaves 或 new leaves。
diaozhi 发表评论于
椿芽 - toona buds? toona sprouts?
In deference to your original idea, I changed buds back to sprouts :-) -
On toona branches, the new sprouts blaze ever so bright!
In a blink of an eye, many decades have quietly drawn nigh.
Hopelessly lost in thought, I reflect on the years gone by,
Many a yesterday unfolds, grabbing my heavy heart tight.
On Toona branches, sprouts are so bright,
In a blink of an eye, decades have passed.
I lost in thoughts, reflecting on the past,
Yesterday unfolds, grabing my gloomy mind.
Wow! Yes, personally, I like the revision much better. But then, it is only one reader's opinion.
Thanks for indulging in my egotistical mumblings. Happy writing!
(On toona branches, the new buds glitter ever so bright!
In a blink of an eye, many decades have quietly drawn nigh.
Hopelessly lost in thought, I reflect on the years gone by,
Many a yesterday unfolds, grabbing my heavy heart tight.)
唐宋韵 发表评论于
回复 'diaozhi' 的评论 :
谢谢您的灼见,试着修改如下 ——
On Toona branches, sprouts are so bright,
In a blink of an eye, decades have passed.
I lost in thoughts, reflecting on the past,
Yesterday unfolds, grabing my gloomy mind.
With the above said, I would humbly offer these suggestions for consideration with a view to improving/perfecting the poem's English translation:
1) maybe it is just me, but I was looking for a verb in the first line (stretched/read slightly differently, "sprout" can be a verb?)
2) twinkle - blink might be a better choice of word in the context?
3) turn my gaze behind - the physical act of looking backward is much less a concern here; rather, thinking back/reflecting on years past is meant?
4) if the first line was lacking a verb, the last line maybe had one verb too many?
唉,班门弄斧,好为人师,怕这辈子改不了了。见笑。
唐宋韵 发表评论于
回复 'diaozhi' 的评论 :
哈哈,有诗的。是放在上篇的一开始,作为“引子”。请指正 ——
枝上椿芽艳,白驹过隙宽。
茫茫回首望,历历不成欢。
On Toona branches, the pink sprout so bright,
In the twinkle of an eye, decades have passed.
Lost in thoughts, I turn my gaze behind,
The past unfolds, its weight sinks my heart.