That would require your parents being perfect , they don’t exist . Flawed people raised by flawed people is the norm . We should strive to be better and understand our weaknesses and subconscious drives, but not seek perfection in others . It’s possible to have relationships that are imperfect, but good enough.
@katniss4670 I came here to say the same. I’m a parent and I know that as much as I try to avoid behaviours that might harm my children psychologically, I will still mess up in some way or the other. I have accepted this and now I don’t drown my self in guilt when I do or say something that a perfect parent won’t do. Do your best, learn from your mistakes and move on. Also apologies for your mistakes so your children know what’s right and what’s wrong so they don’t seek someone who will treat them badly because they think that’s how love should be.
Please refrain from making assumptions about my personal life. It is inappropriate to make judgments about individuals without having all the relevant information. No one is perfect, and we should all strive to be understanding and respectful of others. . Have a blessed evening.
? @katniss4670 i found your comment very interesting to think about. I think perfectionism is one very bad trait in parents, so I think what would be required to have a wonderfully fine child without creating trauma is a authentic parent. And an authentic parent allows to feel emotion and allowes to make mistakes and is ready to reflect and apologize to the child. An authentic parent with values I'd like to add. Who respects themself and the child as a little but worthy human being. That being sad I truely believe that on that journey it's possible to not cause trauma for the child. And you just don't have to be perfect as a parent. It's true. You make a mistake, you reflect and apologize and you can heal it again. I can see it in my 3 year old. She is a wonderful person and is so aware and such an empath. And she knows exactly that I make mistakes and that I know it and apologize für my behaviour, so she learnt that it is ok to make mistakes and doesn't blame herself for it either... Well sorry for the long text , but you inspired me.
@mrsflowerpower You make some very good points about authenticity and also how important it is for parents to apologize to their children when appropriate.
Thank you for clarifying the different between inner child and shadow. The shadow stood out to me. It hides in darkness (shame) and if we only find a way to make friends with that darkness and love all parts we can step in the light May our journeys lead us back to our truest self
I feel like that’s one of the biggest reasons why I’m single at 42 cuz I have healed and evolved a great deal in the past 5-7 yrs that can’t seem to meet men who also have. And I say that in a humble way as we all have flaws just the red flags recognize it so well now that it turns me off.
I agree ! My parents constantly tried to shut down my "middle child" opinions during childhood, and guess what... I still struggle with that in voicing my opinions with other adults.
Whats complicated is when you do leave that level some will not let go of you so easily those are the ones you need to watch out for , they will try to make you feel like you’ve made zero progress to stop you from moving on.
This is so sharply and precisely healing you are doing global/mass mental and emotional surgeries with your valuable words and guidance. This is so needed personally and socially. Thank you for your most valuable service
I just want everyone to know that you can heal any trauma that has ever happened to you - anything and everything! You can be whole, complete and joyful. Do the work, commit, no matter what. You will get there - I promise, it is completely possible for you! I did!
Just share this with a friend. On and off knowing him for 15 years. I finally come to realize and understand why the way that he behaves. I hope that he can find his own revival.
"Inner child & shadow".. Wooouuu that was mond blowing to understand that particular challenge & how affects you..Rejection versus attachment & inner strength?To frre ourselves & moves forward leaving people behind,to evolve..
I think you will appreciate reading the book "Families and How to Survive Them" By John Cleese and Robin Skynner. They address these hidden emotions issues and many more.
The Hot Spot
= classic like China Town or Double Indemnity
The original trailer in high definition of The Hot Spot directed by Dennis Hopper and starring Don Johnson, Virginia Madsen and Jennifer Connelly.
這是布萊恩·高登執導的第一部電影。他對高登的1987年奧斯卡獲獎短片《雷的男性異性戀舞廳》（Ray's Male Heterosexual Dance Hall）印象深刻，於是找他執導電影。高登表示他接《神采飛揚》的原因是為了「了解自己以及如何製作電影」[2]。主演法蘭克·華利表示，他飾演的角色「有點類似於費利·布勒」[3]。
May our journeys lead us back to our truest self
! My parents constantly tried to shut down my "middle child" opinions during childhood, and guess what... I still struggle with that in voicing my opinions with other adults. 
you are doing global/mass mental and emotional surgeries with your valuable words and guidance. This is so needed personally and socially. Thank you for your most valuable service
Congratulations to my generation 
gorgeous
@mrsflowerpower
2 days ago@katniss4670
2 days ago