硬汉的柔软内心 - 读布考斯基诗《蓝鸟》

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查尔斯·布考斯基(Charles Bukowski 1920-1994)是当代美国最著名的“下层社会”诗人,他长相丑陋,只上过两年大学就辍学,终其一生生活于美国下层社会,大半生的职业是个邮局职员, 无妻无后,是个酒鬼烟鬼嫖客。他中年成名后,诗歌、小说在书店里非常畅销,所以他并不是个“穷人”。 若论金钱,他后来倒是个“富人”,但他有钱以后并没有改变自己的生活方式与环境,他明白“上层”与“下层”之间的鸿沟不是金钱可以消除的,知道自己绝对改变不了自己“下层人”的命运,不曾幻想能“脱胎换骨”成为一个“上层人士”。 一方面,布考斯基对下层社会的丑陋 - 粗俗、暴力、赤裸的性、醉酒 - 等缺点看得一清二楚,不曾想要美化;可以说他鄙视“下层社会。但另一反面,他明白那就是命运给予他的生活,他别无选择,只有“拥抱”那样的生活。 布考斯基对“命运”有深切的体会和理解。



《蓝鸟》(Bluebird)一诗,使用一个美丽、娇小、柔弱的“蓝鸟”为象征,通过一个男人用“威士忌和香烟”把那只“蓝鸟”压在心里这样的暗喻,表现了一个外表粗犷、刚硬的男人其实敏感、柔弱的内心 (“蓝鸟”是美国一种鸟的名称,不是泛指所有蓝色的鸟)。 诗中先是三次重复“我的心里有只蓝鸟,它想要跑出来”,但是诗人都想尽了方法不让它跑出来; 他不想让人看见他心里那样柔弱的东西。 所以他周围的人从来不曾察觉到他心里有这么一只“蓝鸟”,只看见他是条硬汉。诗人第四次重复“我的心里有只蓝鸟,它想要跑出来”时,他说他只会在深夜别人都睡熟以后,把那被关得紧紧的、可怜的“蓝鸟”放出来一小会儿,对它说: 我知道你被关在那里,我没有忘记你;不要伤心。然后就把它关回去了。 “我没有让它完全死去,它在那里面还是会唱出点声音。我们带着我们的秘密协议一起睡着了。啊,这样真是太好了。好得会让一个男人掉泪。但是我不会掉泪,你呢?”

【原诗全文】

Bluebird

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I'm too tough for him,

I say, stay in there, I'm not going

to let anybody see

you.

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I pour whiskey on him and inhale

cigarette smoke

and the whores and the bartenders

and the grocery clerks

never know that

he's

in there.

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I'm too tough for him,

I say,

stay down, do you want to mess

me up?

you want to screw up the

works?

you want to blow my book sales in

Europe?

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I'm too clever, I only let him out

at night sometimes

when everybody's asleep.

I say, I know that you're there,

so don't be

sad.

then I put him back,

but he's singing a little

in there, I haven't quite let him

die

and we sleep together like

that

with our

secret pact

and it's nice enough to

make a man

weep, but I don't

weep, do

you?



【原文】

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I'm too tough for him,

I say, stay in there, I'm not going

to let anybody see

you.

【理解】

诗人说他心里有一只“蓝鸟”, 它想跑出来。 但是他对它很凶,他对它说“呆在里面,我不想让人看见你”。

【原文】

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I pour whiskey on him and inhale

cigarette smoke

and the whores and the bartenders

and the grocery clerks

never know that

he's

in there.

【理解】

诗人说他心里有一只“蓝鸟”, 它想跑出来。 但是他用威士忌和香烟把它压回了心里。跟他打交道的妓女、酒巴侍者、杂货店营业员都不知道他心里有那么只“蓝鸟”。

【原文】

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I'm too tough for him,

I say,

stay down, do you want to mess

me up?

you want to screw up the

works?

you want to blow my book sales in

Europe?

【理解】

诗人说他心里有一只“蓝鸟”, 它想跑出来。 但是他对它很凶,他对它说“呆在里面,你想毁了我吗?你想坏我的事吗? 你想让我的书在欧洲卖不出去吗?”。

【原文】

there's a bluebird in my heart that

wants to get out

but I'm too clever, I only let him out

at night sometimes

when everybody's asleep.

I say, I know that you're there,

so don't be

sad.

then I put him back,

but he's singing a little

in there, I haven't quite let him

die

and we sleep together like

that

with our

secret pact

and it's nice enough to

make a man

weep, but I don't

weep, do

you?

【理解】

诗人只会在夜深人静时,悄悄地让他的“蓝鸟”出来,对他的“蓝鸟”说些温和的话。他们之间有着默契。然后他把“蓝鸟”藏回心中进入梦乡。诗人说他对这状况非常满意了,满意得要掉下泪来。

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