春节随想

爱发呆,爱读各种感情的书,爱跳舞,爱别人夸我漂亮,爱那个唯一的男人也爱自己.害怕夜里独自一人,害怕听到自己心碎的清脆的声音...
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今年的春节妈妈在海南和爸爸过,小权也常去和他们聚.

教会又是包饺子,弟兄姐妹们包得不亦乐乎.每逢佳节倍思亲,所以对于很多不能回家乡的他们,教会真是个抹干泪水的地方.唱的歌是<远方亲人>,马上红了眼眶.

其实今年已不似往年般难过,往年是即使母亲在也忧伤异常,心里莫名的空洞.连朋给我带来了一个轮胎,因我上次白痴把备胎扔掉了.我做的白痴的事数不胜数.赌钱输了生气打给小权,他说:正常啊,你不会赢的.

我愣愣的:真的吗,好象有赢过啊.

过去的日子心里真有个大洞,什么都填不满.永远茫然慌张,以为是缺个爱人,不停的寻找.其实不是,因耶和华是根,是祝福的源头.真的回到基督教,才平安喜乐起来.

恩典够用,这是上帝对我们每个人说的.即使我仍对身边事许多不满,但是对于过去,我是好得多了.不去细数自己生命里的恩典了,那真的太多.有一天,一时兴起对某友说她新年有否新愿望,我想马上为她祷告.她说了一番让我目瞪口呆的话.

她说看你现在中毒还没太深,其实基督教也是一种老鼠会.说做人要先学会爱自己,然后别人才会爱你.

我懒得讲话,思想上帝其实是难过的.自己养的狗因表弟来有时候和表弟亲过和我,我都难过,何况是我们的造物主呢?现在的信仰不再轻易动摇了,因自己经历过了神,清楚而深刻.3年前的我已经和现在太不一样,除了神,没有什么事能使一个人如此巨大的转变.

所以,阿爸父,愿05年是您更丰收的一年,愿人少惹你怒的气.感谢您.

奉主耶酥得胜的名,阿们!

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