Dec 15th 2009 By Jeremy Taylor
The 100 Weirdest News Stories We Dugg in 2009 -- 5-1
5. Lady, Your Husband Is a Sick ... DUDE WTF?!? (5,902 Diggs)
Worried that a former boyfriend had downloaded child porn onto her computer, Michelle Owens handed the laptop over to police and asked them to search it for illegal images. BIG MISTAKE, as Owens had clearly forgotten that the most incriminating images they would find were two videos of her having sex with a beagle. Even after she was arrested for bestiality, Owens declined to waive the consent she had given cops to search her laptop, still hoping they'd find evidence to bust her ex for something even more heinous. The sordid tale had Reddem0n thinking about his own sex life: "Dogs get more poon than I do. How sad."
4. Girl Arrested for Swearing on 911 Call (6,504)
Adrianne Ledesma was understandably upset when she called 911, as her father had just suffered a seizure. After her call to emergency services went unanswered, she dialed the number again, uttering some choice curse words as she did. Sgt. Robert McFarlan, who was manning the 911 desk, heard her F-bombs and admonished the panicked girl --then hung up without even asking her what the problem was.
After a delay, Ledesma was able to get attention for her father, who turned out to be OK. But, to further her ordeal, McFarlen had Ledesma arrested for abusing 911! Eventually Ledesma got a little bit ofjustice when McFarlen was suspended two weeks for his outrageous behavior. Although that wasn't enough for most diggers, like ftc08, who proclaimed "This guy should be put in ***** jail."
3. Man Paid $2,500 to Impregnate Neighbor's Wife, Fails 72 Times (7,519)
Being sterile, Demetrius Soupolos was unable to have children with his former beauty-queen wife, Truate. So he paid his neighbor Frank Maus, who looked like him and had a couple kids' worth of proof that his boys could swim, $2,500 to knock up his wife. After 72 sexual encounters over six months failed to put a baby into Truate's belly, Demetrius demanded his neighbor have a medical examination.
Much to both men's surprise, Maus was found to be sterile too. (But notto Maus's wife's surprise -- she was forced to confess she always knew Maus wasn't the real father of their children.) Long story short,Soupolos is suing Maus, and Maus is countering with the always popular"I didn't guarantee contraception, just my best effort over and over again" defense. Fbcra8,for one, questions the whole "fail" premise of this ridiculous tale:"Fail? I think not. Sex 72 times with a beauty queen, and no children?Epic win!"
2. Why You Shouldn't Have Your Boss on Facebook (9,484)
Who knows what exactly is real or fake when it comes to screen shots of supposed social networking blunders. But Diggers were buying the hilarious gaffe an English office worker made when she posted a Facebook status update that read, "OMG! I HATE MY JOB!! My boss is a total pervy wanker always making me do sh** stuff just to piss me off!WANKER!!"
Of course, the colorful complainer had forgotten she and her boss were Facebook friends. In his response, for all to see, the wanker admonished her for not realizing that he is gay -- and thus probably not really perving on her. Later in his note he unceremoniously made her an unemployed person. Or, as Marines 920 put it, "He owned her...... LIKE A BOSS!"
1. Girlfriend's Angry Emails to Her Vacationing Boyfriend (11,342)Our story of the year actually took place in the summer of 2007, which is when our protagonist, JD, went on a two-week backpacking trip in Europe. Since he wouldn't be able to use his cell phone and wasn't going to be checking his emails, he informed all the people close to him -- including Em, his girlfriend -- that they weren't going to be able to get in touch with him for a while.
Apparently, Em didn't get the message, beginning a hilarious two-weekchain of unanswered emails in which she grew more and more outraged byhis lack of response.
As JD tours the old world, Em dumps him, takes him back, dumps him again, says a lot of scarily illogical things and brags about sleeping with another guy in retribution for his silent treatment. Finally,after running into JD's mom and realizing what has happened, Em professes her love for JD and begs and begs him not to read any of the emails.
Well JD did read the emails, and he did dump Em because of them. But,being a gentleman, he waited two years before he released the emails to an eager Internet public. Gle68especially appreciated the gesture, because he learned something: "If I ever marry, I'm first giving her the Europe test to make sure she's sane."
Worried that a former boyfriend had downloaded child porn onto her computer, Michelle Owens handed the laptop over to police and asked them to search it for illegal images. BIG MISTAKE, as Owens had clearly forgotten that the most incriminating images they would find were two videos of her having sex with a beagle. Even after she was arrested for bestiality, Owens declined to waive the consent she had given cops to search her laptop, still hoping they'd find evidence to bust her ex for something even more heinous. The sordid tale had Reddem0n thinking about his own sex life: "Dogs get more poon than I do. How sad."
4. Girl Arrested for Swearing on 911 Call (6,504)
Adrianne Ledesma was understandably upset when she called 911, as her father had just suffered a seizure. After her call to emergency services went unanswered, she dialed the number again, uttering some choice curse words as she did. Sgt. Robert McFarlan, who was manning the 911 desk, heard her F-bombs and admonished the panicked girl --then hung up without even asking her what the problem was.
After a delay, Ledesma was able to get attention for her father, who turned out to be OK. But, to further her ordeal, McFarlen had Ledesma arrested for abusing 911! Eventually Ledesma got a little bit ofjustice when McFarlen was suspended two weeks for his outrageous behavior. Although that wasn't enough for most diggers, like ftc08, who proclaimed "This guy should be put in ***** jail."
3. Man Paid $2,500 to Impregnate Neighbor's Wife, Fails 72 Times (7,519)
Being sterile, Demetrius Soupolos was unable to have children with his former beauty-queen wife, Truate. So he paid his neighbor Frank Maus, who looked like him and had a couple kids' worth of proof that his boys could swim, $2,500 to knock up his wife. After 72 sexual encounters over six months failed to put a baby into Truate's belly, Demetrius demanded his neighbor have a medical examination.
Much to both men's surprise, Maus was found to be sterile too. (But notto Maus's wife's surprise -- she was forced to confess she always knew Maus wasn't the real father of their children.) Long story short,Soupolos is suing Maus, and Maus is countering with the always popular"I didn't guarantee contraception, just my best effort over and over again" defense. Fbcra8,for one, questions the whole "fail" premise of this ridiculous tale:"Fail? I think not. Sex 72 times with a beauty queen, and no children?Epic win!"
2. Why You Shouldn't Have Your Boss on Facebook (9,484)
Who knows what exactly is real or fake when it comes to screen shots of supposed social networking blunders. But Diggers were buying the hilarious gaffe an English office worker made when she posted a Facebook status update that read, "OMG! I HATE MY JOB!! My boss is a total pervy wanker always making me do sh** stuff just to piss me off!WANKER!!"
Of course, the colorful complainer had forgotten she and her boss were Facebook friends. In his response, for all to see, the wanker admonished her for not realizing that he is gay -- and thus probably not really perving on her. Later in his note he unceremoniously made her an unemployed person. Or, as Marines 920 put it, "He owned her...... LIKE A BOSS!"
1. Girlfriend's Angry Emails to Her Vacationing Boyfriend (11,342)Our story of the year actually took place in the summer of 2007, which is when our protagonist, JD, went on a two-week backpacking trip in Europe. Since he wouldn't be able to use his cell phone and wasn't going to be checking his emails, he informed all the people close to him -- including Em, his girlfriend -- that they weren't going to be able to get in touch with him for a while.
Apparently, Em didn't get the message, beginning a hilarious two-weekchain of unanswered emails in which she grew more and more outraged byhis lack of response.
As JD tours the old world, Em dumps him, takes him back, dumps him again, says a lot of scarily illogical things and brags about sleeping with another guy in retribution for his silent treatment. Finally,after running into JD's mom and realizing what has happened, Em professes her love for JD and begs and begs him not to read any of the emails.
Well JD did read the emails, and he did dump Em because of them. But,being a gentleman, he waited two years before he released the emails to an eager Internet public. Gle68especially appreciated the gesture, because he learned something: "If I ever marry, I'm first giving her the Europe test to make sure she's sane."