I am just sitting here, checking my mailbox thousands of times. It's my only entertainment, only motivation, and only goal. Everything else happening in my life kind of run parallal to this. Two seperate lives. Or one just to support the other? At this moment, all of the years' of buddhist education vanishes. I just want to see him again, just want to hear from him again. I don't know how this relates to my not so solid beliefs about the horrible punishments that will happen in the future. If I truely believe they will happen, will I still do the same thing?
