女儿于去年10月19号出生,我妈妈提前一周从中国前来帮忙。这是她的第四次德国之行。
第一次是在我儿子出生的时候,第二次是我开始上全天班的时候,这两次都是在我前夫的房子里,因为当时是前外婆的房子,而且共一个厨房,因着某些德国人的狭隘-固执和偏激。。。因着大家无法理解对方,因着我在年少无知的岁月走入错误的婚姻。。。我母亲在那里很多怨气和泪水,她曾说过~自己做媳妇的时候都没有呕过这么多气。。。
我博客很少提到那时候暗无天日的故事,罄竹难书。。。直到我被扫地出门。
第三次是我作单亲母亲的时候,她来帮我看孩子,免得我不能出差,丢了工作。她说有一次,我去中国出差了,我儿子给他爸爸接走的时候,她一个人在我那空荡荡的房子里也流了很多泪。
在我不幸的感情婚姻历程上,我给父母添了很大的麻烦,让他们很多次伤心流泪。但是随着时间的推移,我逐渐意识到我其实是个幸运的女人,就是在那些不堪回首的日子里,除了天父的看顾和教会-查经班弟兄姐妹的安慰,其实我的父母也给我很大的-方方面面的支持,他们无私的奉献陪伴我走过悲情岁月。可怜天下父母心,用在他们身上在合适不过了。
时光荏苒,季节转变,因着神的怜悯与慈爱,我们的命运也跟着改变。
2010年我再婚,去年怀孕,他们只见过我先生的照片,但是我妈妈还是义无反顾地来到陌生的地方来给我们带孩子了。
以下是她临走的时候写给我先生的信和我先生两天后的回信。
妈妈说~那天她一手抱着我女儿, 一手写下这封信。
致女婿,
人是漂泊的船,家是温馨的港。
为期3个月的中德带人任务基本圆满结束了。
由于语言不通,不能很好地沟通与交流,但为了共建家庭的目的是一样的。
3个月来,得到了你的热情招待、信任、理解和支持,再次深表谢意。
3个月的家庭生活,包括每天从房间到厨房,到地库洗衣间,到超市,带人的重复工作;包括深夜多次婴儿的呼唤,生活在烦的日夜里。
但是看到孙女一天天长大,心里有说不出的高兴。在一个有新生儿的家里,带人的确是一项不简单而且需要耐心去经营的工程。
我们中文俗语说:养儿防老,积谷防饥。这是人生的基本阶段之一。
这些天的相处,我看到你是一个对家庭负责,有爱心的男人,特别是你对我们大家的关心、体贴;还有你们夫妻之间
和谐的感情,让我感到无比欣慰,相信有你这样用心的经营,这个家庭会越来越幸福。
相比XX*(我前夫)之下,他现在孤身一人,病痛时连个端水的人都没有;让我无限感慨。
在即将离开德国之际,我希望告诉你们,好好培养两个孩子,让他们养成良好的生活习惯; 学会孝顺父母,将来成为有用的人。
你们两个要作出表率,牺牲自己一些看电视和看电脑的时间,多休息,早点睡,养好身体;身体好才能作成其他的事情。
你们家庭好,身体好,小孩乖,就是我们全家的幸福。
我们想为你们多帮点忙,但是由于时间不允许,也没有办法,心有余而力不足;希望你们克服困难。
我们常常说,前途是光明的,道路是曲折的,小孩大点就好了。
祝白头到老、身体健康、家庭和睦!
妈妈
2012年1月5日
未经作者许可,请勿转载。
7. Jan. 2012
When I picked up you, our mother 3 months ago from Frankfurt Airport,
I picked up a person which I just know from pictures and from explanation of my wife. Although you are my mother in law, you were just a stranger to me.
Honestly speaking I was a little bit afraid about the idea to have you here for 3 months
in this flat with limited space.
Now, the evening before you are leaving, I am really sad, but also feeling guilty and grateful.
You are such a great help to us, spending 3 months in a foreign country just to help us with
the first weeks of our new born baby.
My mother died 26 years ago, therefore, I forgot somehow how it is to be surrounded by a "mother".
In the past 3 months, there was not a single day minute that I feel unpleasant or disturbed.
It was really nice to have you here and you have been a great aid for both of us. I am so deeply
impressed how much you have done for us.
I know that you are full of worries about your daughter and nowadays even for your granddaughter
as well.
Please rest assured that I will do my best to take care of them. I will treat your daughter with
respect and love, and our daughter, the best as I can do, too.
We will try our best to raise up our two kids in the best possible way, teaching them the life
principles with respect and honesty.
I am sure that we will be able to manage what you have wished for us that to keep our family as
stable and harmonious as possible. This is my basic concept of family life, please do not worry
anymore.
I would like to express my sincere thanks again to what you have done for us all. You are such
a great person and what a pity that we can not share a common language to talk directly to each
other.
I picked up a foreigner 3 months ago but tomorrow I will say goodbye to a person whom I deeply
love and respect, my Mother in Law.
Yours ~~
在我给他们翻译这两封信的两个晚上,我们又一起流了很多眼泪,这一次是感动的泪。
生活告诉我·寻找爱的人,凭着爱就能寻见。
神说——如今长存的,有信,有望,有爱,这三样,其中最大的是爱!(歌林多前书13:13)