推?敲?推敲。推“敲”!——杨老师教学笔记(6)


有了一个吸睛的标题,有了一段诱人的开篇,作文已经成功了一半。Well begun is half done.

 

但也仅仅一半而已(Half done,就是夹生饭的意思)。

 

好的作文,要达到一种流水行云的通畅,又给人一种字字珠玑的惊喜。

 

还是回到最基础:准确用好每一个字。

 

有个作家曾经夸张其词地强调准确用字的重要性:每一个动作只有一个动词可以准确地形容。

 

如何找到并使用这个词,是很考功力的苦差。

 

举例:

英语中“走路”(Walk),不同的走路姿态和速度都有不同的用词:

Creepatrolsaunterstride treadtrudge, strut, shuffle, plod, march, loiter,  prowl ,stagger      , stroll, run, meander, toddle, tramp, move, ambulate, perambulate, step, pace, tip-toe, roam, ramble, promenade, slide, dash…….

 

你好好地“看看”(Look at 人家是怎样“看东西”的:

Gaze         , stare, leer, scan, watch, peep, glance, ……          

 

你会不会好好“说话”(Say),就看你能否善用下列的单词:

Whisper,  murmur,  grumble,  stutter, declare,, shout,  chat , ……                           

 

你别光在那里“傻笑”(grin):

Beamsnickergigglechucklegrinsneersmirksmile,  ……

 

注意下列段落中的斜体粗字:

 

It was a wild place. Peter and his wife and his three children were exposed to a furious wind and driving rain. Down below, the sea boiled over the rocks, and above them crouched the huge black shape of the Crag. The wind tore at Peter’s coat and blew his usually immaculate hair over his eyes. There was a sudden clap of thunder and a white flash of lightening directly over their heads. A real storm had begun and Joe, suddenly cold and frightened, began to cry. Peter turned and went back to the car. He lifted Joe in, got in himself and started the engine. Then he put the car into gear and let in the clutch. Nothing happened. The wheels span in the mud and the engine roared, but the car wouldn’t move either forward or backward.

 

中国唐代诗人贾岛初次参加科举考试,往京城里。一天他在驴背上想到了两句诗:鸟宿池边树,僧推月下门。又想用字(来替换字),反复思考没有定下来,便在驴背上(继续)吟诵,伸出手来做着推和敲的动作。看到的人感到很惊讶。当时韩愈临时代理京城的地方长官,他正带车马出巡,贾岛不知不觉,直走到(韩愈仪仗队的)第三节,还在不停地做(推敲)的手势。于是一下子就被(韩愈)左右的侍从推 搡到京兆尹的面前。贾岛详细地回答了他在酝酿的诗句,用字还是用字没有确定,思想离开了眼前的事物,不知道要回避。韩愈停下车马思考了好一 会,对贾岛说:字好,因为月夜访友,即使友人家门没有闩,也不能莽撞推门,敲门表示你是一个懂得礼貌的人;更能衬托出月夜的宁静,读起来也响亮些。

 

古人尚且如此,在互联网时代,“推敲”并非难事:“推特”到朋友圈问问,或者“敲键盘”百度一下,什么字一下就到眼前来。

 

写文章,就是要对文字有一种锲而不舍的“推敲“ 精神。

 

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