周末一笑： 在超级市场

1 在超级市场 At the Supermarket 

At the supermarket I noticed an elderly man who seemed to be following me wherever I went. As I moved to each aisle, there he was, smiling at me. Now I was wondering if he was interested in me. At the dairy counter I was checking out the eggs when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw that it was the same man. "Lady," he finally said, "you have my shopping cart."

在超市我注意到一位上了年纪的男子好像总在跟着我。我每到一个售货通道，他就跟我到一个售货通道，微笑地看着我。我开始想他是不是喜欢上我了。在乳品柜，我正给鸡蛋包装结账时，有人在我肩上轻拍了一下。我转过身发现还是那个男子。“女士，”他终于开口说话了，“你用着我的购物车呢。”

2 两个比目鱼问题 The Problem of Two Flounders

Simon was an inveterate fisherman, well known for exaggerating the size of "the one that got away". But there came a day when he actually caught two enormous flounders. He immediately invited a few friends over to dine, then tried to figure out how best to serve the fish." If I use both," he told his wife, "it will seem ostentatious."

"Why not serve a piece of each?" she suggested.

"No, if I cut them up, nobody will believe I caught two giant flounders." Simon racked his brain. Then he had an idea.

The guests were seated at the table when their host strode in with a platter, holding the biggest flounder they'd ever seen. Suddenly Simon stumbled and fell. Everyone cried out in dismay as the fish crashed to the floor, but Simon quickly brushed himself off.

"Dear," he called out to his wife, "bring in the other flounder!"

　　西蒙是个老练的渔夫。人们都熟知他爱吹嘘“跑掉的那条”鱼的尺寸。但有一天他确实抓了两条极大的比目鱼。他立刻邀请几个朋友过来吃饭，然后着力搞清楚怎样上鱼。“如果两条一起上，”他对妻子说，“好像有点炫耀之嫌了。”

“何不两条鱼各上一块呢？”他妻子建议道。

“不行，如果把两条鱼都切碎了，就不会有人相信我抓了两条大比目鱼了。”西蒙绞尽了脑汁，终于想出了一个好办法。

　　客人已在餐桌边就座完毕，这时主人大步地走进来，手里端着一个托盘，托盘上是一个他们所见过的最大的比目鱼。突然西蒙被什么东西绊了一下摔倒了。所有的人都惊慌地叫了起来，因为鱼在地板上摔得粉碎。但是西蒙迅速地摆脱了窘境。

“亲爱的，”他对妻子喊道，“把另一条鱼端上来！”

3 如是请求 This Way to Request

I had fallen and dislocated my elbow, which made writing checks for my small business nearly impossible. I called my bank to explain that the signature on my checks would look odd due to my accident, and would they please horror them anyway.
"Okay," said the woman on the phone, "but you' 11 have to write a letter to the bank telling them that you are requesting this."
　　我摔倒了，肘骨脱臼了。这使得我几乎不能给我的小生意签账单了。我打电话给银行解释说由于事故，账单上我的签名看起来会有些古怪，并请求他们无论如何给予承兑。
“好的，”电话中的女子说，“但你必须给银行写封信，告诉他们你在作此项请求。”

4 紧急待机乘客 An Urgent Standby Passenger

While in Korea, Gov. Mike Smith of Utah was relaxing in the VIP lounge the Seoul airport, awaiting his flight to Japan. At the same moment, his press secretary, Jenny Varela, was being told at the ticket counter that she had no ticket.
After insisting she had to make the flight because she was with a U. S. governor, an American embassy aide intervened. Varela got a standby ticket and boarded just before take-off.
Regaining her composure, Varela went to the front of the plane to tell Smith of her adventure. He was not there. She later found out that the governor was told that he had been bumped by an urgent standby passenger.It was Varela.
　　在韩国时，犹他州的州长麦克·史密斯正在汉城机场的要人休息室里休息。他在等着飞往日本的航班。与此同时，他的新闻秘书、詹妮·维蕾拉，在售票房被告知没票了。
　　她坚持说要乘此航班，因为她是一位美国的州长的随员，这样美国大使馆的一位副官介入了。维蕾拉拿到一张待机票并赶在飞机起飞前登了机。
　　略略镇定后，维蕾拉到机舱前部去告诉史密斯她的经历。他不在那儿。她后来得知，有人告知州长，他的飞行被一位紧急待机乘客冲撞掉了。这个人就是维蕾拉。

5 驾车的小伙子 The Young Man at the Wheel

My infant daughter began crying as I drove home from the store, and since she was harnessed to her safety seat in the back, I couldn't console her. Stopping for a red light, I turned around and waved my hands, calling her name to distract her. I gave her my biggest smile and blew her a kiss. The sound of a horn from the car behind us prompted me to look up. The young man at the wheel was smiling broadly .He waved and then blew me a kiss.

从商场开车回家的路上，我的小宝贝女儿开始哭闹起来。由于她被套在后面的安全座里，所以我无法安慰她。红灯停车的时候，我转过身来，对她摆手，叫她的名字来引她。我给她以满脸笑容，并给她一个飞吻。从我们车后传来的喇叭声立刻使我抬头望去。驾车的小伙子正对我咧着大嘴笑。他向我摆手并给了我一个飞吻。

 

6 猫与托盘 The Cat and the Saucer

An antiques collector was passing a small shop when he noticed a cat on the sidewalk out front, licking milk from a saucer. The man immediately realized the saucer was very old and valuable. He stepped into the shop with an uninterested look and asked to buy the cat. "I'm sorry," the shop owner said, "but the cat is not for sale:"
"Please," the collector urged, "I need a cat around my house to catch mice. I'll give you 20 dollars. "
"The cat is yours," the owner said taking the money.
"Listen," the collector added, "I wonder if you could throw in that old saucer as well. The cat seems to like it and I'd hate to have him give it up. "
"Sorry," the shop owner answered, "but that saucer brings me luck. Why, just this week I've sold 68 cats!"

一个古董收集者正路过一个小店。他发现店前人行道上一只猫在舔一个托盘上的牛奶。这个人立刻意识到这个托盘是个值钱的古物。他带着一种毫无兴趣的表情步入店内，要买那只猫。“对不起，”店主说，“这只猫是不卖的。”
“卖给我吧，”收集者敦促道，“我家里面需要一只猫来捉老鼠。我给你20元。”
“猫归你了，”店主接过钱说道。
“还有，”收集者补充道，“我想你是否能把那只旧盘子也额外赠送给我。猫好像很喜欢它。我不愿意看到它失去这东西。”
“对不起，”店主回答说，“但那只托盘能给我带来好运。你不知道，光这一周，我就卖掉68只猫！”

（from Internet)