2015.10.27
9月26号，女儿参加了2015年北加州媒体大会，
这个奖是在当天的一小时新闻制作比赛后获得的。
这个奖并不是女儿得到的最高新闻奖。今年四月，
昨天，女儿给我看了两个很长的单子：
女儿埋怨本虾不好好读她写的文章。其实就在前几天，
看来百忙中还是要抽出时间通读女儿的文章，不然非常说不过去的。
有读者希望＂见识＂一下本虾女儿的文章，
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Op-Ed: Parents' approach to finding passion is harmful for kids
07/02/2015
It's time for parents to gain a new perspective on passion.
In the heart of Silicon Valley, we see CEOs, engineers and Stanford professors. They're idols, a vision for parents for what their child should become.
This environment has given rise to a cult of parents who sign their kids up for every extracurricular, keep them from falling down, and micromanage them. In her 2011 book, Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, Amy Chua asserted that "strict child-rearing" produces successful children, the type that would become Silicon Valley "idols."
They recognize résumé. With these parents, students are crushed by the need to be perfect. They spread themselves too thin, pulling all-nighters and crying themselves to sleep.
I attend Gunn High School, a high-achieving public school in the affluent city of Palo Alto. The grief and trauma of suicide clusters plague our campus, sparking discussion in the community about how we can make the environment less of a pressure cooker and more emotionally bearable, since so many students experience academic pressure and mental illness.
After realizing their children's struggle, many parents back off a little, realizing the dangers in overparenting, where a push toward success could become a push toward suicide.
"Just do what you love," these parents say desperately. "Find your passion! It's not about money or status. I just want you to be happy."
By encouraging kids to do what they love, parents believe that they're no longer too much of a tiger parent, and success will come naturally for their happy child. But that still isn't the solution. Children are then forced into a different pressure, and it's problematic for several reasons.
This wave of parents separate themselves from strict helicopter parents with the "passion" façade, but deny many of the same pressure-cooking effects they have on kids. Even with passionate, non-robotic kids, there's an expectation of achievements to complete by the time college admissions roll around. Julie Lythcott-Haims, former Stanford dean of freshmen and author of the new book How to Raise an Adult, dubs it "the checklisted childhood." Her advice is to throw it out.
But parents are still very fearful of failure, because it could equate to unhappiness. They want their kids to "go big or go home."
"Make music, but play at Carnegie Hall and go to Julliard. Be a fashion designer, but be a big, Red Carpet name. Be a journalist, but write for the New York Times. Do research, but win the Nobel Prize."
Parents have given kids permission to be anything, but they still want them to decide what--early on. What parents really mean by "find your passion" is "win the timed rat race to find passion." This way, their kids gain an advantage in the brutal competition of Silicon Valley. The kids who have begun pursuing a career path at a young age, parents believe, will ultimately become more successful and happy later in life. But that isn't the case. Loads of people adjust after a late career change. And often, young high school students simply aren't equipped to know what to choose. Teenagers haven't been exposed to unconventional careers, real work environments and challenges certain industries face.
Yet they're still pushed to choose. By high school's end, students often declare their "major" in life, closing other doors. Life fills up with focused extracurriculars. To win the race of passion, one must be aerodynamic. No irrelevant distractions. Every activity must be academic and career-boosting to become the best in the industry of interest and passion. So parents take over the other, non-passion-related, things. Kids can't do the laundry, too busy to afford to learn how. This causes a lack of independence. Children become outlines clinging to their parents' profiles. The way parents push children to pursue their passions, and only their passions, creates one-dimensional people with no holistic sense of self. It murders the "whole child."
It's sad that our society has come down to this when it comes to passion. It shouldn't be fueled by parents' concerns about the future. Passion shouldn't be a race.
We need a third type of parent. We need parents that not only recognize passion, but also give kids space and time to develop it, without worrying that success is on the line. In her book, Lythcott-Haims, a Palo Alto resident, describes "free-range parenting." Though free-range includes many more physically applicable paradigms, like leaving kids outside to play, it also gives kids the medium to explore. It's not something many Silicon Valley parents have explored, since most are pushing kids to pursue passions wildly. And now's the time to change.
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这个系列的文章就此打住了。都是一些鸡毛蒜皮的小事，
****** 编后语 *******
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