还有作家吗?

从小就敬佩作家。总能听到哥哥姐姐们谈论这本小说好,那本小说也不错。还经常说,人家作家多会写呀!

 

长大点了,除了语文课本中老师教的,还爱读阅读课的文章,喜欢品其中的味道。经常想象其中的场景,随之便掉进了作家设的陷阱里。但,还没想自己写些什么。

 

刚上大学时,小有想法,写了一首小诗,因鼓励奖得到一个小日记本,爱不释手。仍没有写的想法。读了些书,同样被作者揪着很劲把书读完。不敢多读,怕掉进去太深了。

 

参加工作后,潜心读了些。有些书不敢深读,像《红与黑》,怕深陷不能自拔。读得多了,在对作品的欣赏的同时,渐渐地对作者的水平有了评判。对口味的有内涵的反复读,不对口味的浅读或不读,但终究叹服作者的能力和水平。

 

近些年,自己开始只言片语地写了些。主要给自己看,偶尔给老婆或小妹读读。有时蹦出几个词几句话,还够自己欣赏一段时间。有的反复改,反复想,怎么也没感觉的,便放弃。有的出来便感觉挺好,稍加修饰,更有味道。此时便想起小时候听到哥哥姐姐对作家的品头论足了。更觉得好的作家真了不起!

 

不知不觉间,想到最近挺火的方方。读过她写的几篇日记,结合一些网上的东西,内心纠结、忧郁、焦虑了很长时间。终于有一次在家庭群里有了一次不小的不快。又不敢读了!但还是不忍就此别去。自疫情开始,到中国大陆疫情的至暗时刻,到后来,经常可以读到一些好的文章,许章润的,等等,这些文章使我有种在极渴的时候喝了一杯甘泉的感觉。再到后来的后来,好的文章没多少了,感觉仅到饮鸠止渴的程度。不过,因小有过写的感觉,对作家灵感来了挡都挡不住的状态深有感触。作家吗,以写作为业,以写作为好,写作是他们的本能。有了感觉,有了冲动,潇潇洒洒地写出来,多么酣畅淋漓呀!憋着不发,有的会颓废,有的会有病态,但相信有的憋到一定时候一定程度终会迸发,不然,就会被泯灭天性了。如果真是这样,可能会有人问……

还有作家吗?!

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