回复 'elfie' 的评论 : Thank you for reading and leaving a message, especially your sharing does have your own unique insights. Because your life environment experience and experience determine how you should live. For a family, it doesn't matter whether the husband and wife can grow old together. That's what I want to say: love can be terminated at any time, but family affection is a lifetime. Whether you admit it or not, the relationship between you is Objective facts. Whether men or women need love, in the different experiences of each of us in life, parents and elders may leave real life and go to the world of bliss earlier than their children. This is a fact or natural law that everyone must accept! No one can find or recognize a parent again, because you no longer need this kind of care when you grow up! This is determined by blood relationship. Blood relationship still cannot be copied and transferred, and some are passed down from generation to generation. However, the relationship between husband and wife is very different. As long as you are willing, you can repeat endlessly, get married, divorce, get married and divorce... Maybe your point of view is not wrong, but blood thicker than water is always family affection! Whether you admit it or not, in fact, you don't need to admit it at all! You can't stop your subjective consciousness, but love is not! Thank you for reading and sharing your message. I wish you happy every day!
I don't love my husband, neither does he love me, but I do respect him as my children's father, and he respects me as their mother. It's an iron triangle or pentagon: three children, two parents, and a life contract.
It's totally fine to live this way. We have 100% trust in our partnership
with no more sex involved. We pull our duties to raise up children, to maintain the household, or just to live an everyday life. Maybe you don't get this, because you have had a different experience. Blood relationships are weaker compared with this kind of relationship we have as a core family, because we have the same burden to share. You can't get out of the yolk of marriage easily if you value your own family. We don't have elderly parents and other relatives living together or close by. So it's all depending on our own resolve to survive and thrive. No grandmas, uncles, aunts, cousins or siblings. That kind of relationship has been downgraded to nothing in this American life we live.
elfie 发表评论于
Chinese people like to overvalue blood relationships, so your uncle and nephews are more important to you than your spouse.
The fact is this kind of agricultural society is gone. You no longer have anything to do with your siblings, uncles and aunts when you grow up.
The most important people are from your core family, i.e. your spouse and children. Having intimacy or passion or not isn't important either.
It is true that your relationship with your spouse is above and beyond love and
sex. It's more like a partnership for livelihood and welfare. You guys share the common assets, properties and obligations to each other.
What is more long lasting? Passion or a serious commitment for a long term contract? Marriage is a social contract in essence. You keep it till death does you apart, or your free will. You don't even need to love the other party to honor that contract, like you don't need to love your employer or your job.
