“一个不成熟的男子,会愿意为某种事业英勇地死去。
一个成熟的男子,则愿意为某种事业卑贱地活着。”
这句话是《麦田守望者》中的重要名句,
**
• 《论语》君子周而不比 六祖惠能 南懷瑾 李敖方舟子 - TJKCB -
(4935 bytes) (68 reads) 03/07/2025 22:02:59
(1)
优秀的孩子《麦田守望者》哈麻牛剑 - TJKCB - ♀
(103636 bytes) (1378 reads) 03/09/2025 16:31:59
(2)
• 没看过这本书,但我听你说了,感觉这个死去不是不计回报地付出,而是为了维持一种体面而无休止地内耗内卷 - 想做土家人 - ♀
(0 bytes) (3 reads) 03/09/2025 16:43:41
• Not really. Read it again! - TJKCB - ♀
(0 bytes) (1 reads) 03/09/2025 16:56:30
• 谢谢分享导读,这是高中生必读书 - 米汤 - ♂
(0 bytes) (5 reads) 03/09/2025 16:57:11
(1)
• 高中生必读书,要详细解读的。这个作者在the heart of a broken story - Numero - ♀
(499 bytes) (58 reads) 03/09/2025 17:01:09
(2)
• 若即若离的意思? - 平常心安 - ♀
(0 bytes) (2 reads) 03/09/2025 17:03:25
• 我觉得可以有很多的解读。渴望拥有,但是也会成全;是放肆,也是克制。或者 - Numero - ♀
(329 bytes) (34 reads) 03/09/2025 17:17:41
(1)
• You superbly capture essence of emotional complexity Love... - TJKCB - ♀
(5848 bytes) (7 reads) 03/09/2025 17:41:51
• 曾经沧海难为水, 除却巫山不是云。 取次花丛懒回顾, 半缘修道半缘君。 - TJKCB - ♀
(0 bytes) (3 reads) 03/09/2025 17:04:17
(1)
• not a touch--Love as Subtle, elusive, Unspoken - TJKCB - ♀
(667 bytes) (24 reads) 03/09/2025 17:12:34
(2)
• 刚看文字就觉得像冯唐的口气,看到底部果然是他。LOL - 静听秋雨 - ♀
(81 bytes) (28 reads) 03/09/2025 17:07:18
(1)
• child's uniqueness一个人的口气真是带着教育和生活的烙印,如影随形。 - TJKCB - ♀
(103 bytes) (17 reads) 03/09/2025 17:14:10
• 哈哈 - oryzivore - ♂
(167 bytes) (9 reads) 03/09/2025 17:37:16
• 今天Julie说了一句,说中国人应该有更多positive 思维。看紫檀讨论,觉得这个观点太对了。老中有太多负面思维。 - Bailey4321 - ♀
(66 bytes) (49 reads) 03/09/2025 17:13:10
(2)
• 周而不比說得是對的:美國有看不見的大猩猩心理實驗... - TJKCB - ♀
(5931 bytes) (38 reads) 03/09/2025 17:17:26
***
**
• 高中生必读书,要详细解读的。这个作者在the heart of a broken story - Numero - ♀
(499 bytes) (38 reads) 03/09/2025 17:01:09
(2)
• 若即若离的意思? - 平常心安 - ♀
(0 bytes) (2 reads) 03/09/2025 17:03:25
• 我觉得可以有很多的解读。渴望拥有,但是也会成全;是放肆,也是克制。或者 - Numero - ♀
(329 bytes) (19 reads) 03/09/2025 17:17:41
(1)
• You superbly capture essence of emotional complexity Love... - TJKCB - ♀
(5848 bytes) (0 reads) 03/09/2025 17:41:51
• 曾经沧海难为水, 除却巫山不是云。 取次花丛懒回顾, 半缘修道半缘君。 - TJKCB - ♀
(0 bytes) (2 reads) 03/09/2025 17:04:17
(1)
• not a touch--Love as Subtle, elusive, Unspoken - TJKCB - ♀
(667 bytes) (13 reads) 03/09/2025 17:12:34
(2)
• 刚看文字就觉得像冯唐的口气,看到底部果然是他。LOL - 静听秋雨 - ♀
(81 bytes) (19 reads) 03/09/2025 17:07:18
(1)
• child's uniqueness一个人的口气真是带着教育和生活的烙印,如影随形。 - TJKCB - ♀
(103 bytes) (9 reads) 03/09/2025 17:14:10
• 哈哈 - oryzivore - ♂
(167 bytes) (3 reads) 03/09/2025 17:37:16
• 今天Julie说了一句,说中国人应该有更多positive 思维。看紫檀讨论,觉得这个观点太对了。老中有太多负面思维。 - Bailey4321 - ♀
(66 bytes) (29 reads) 03/09/2025 17:13:10
(2)
• 周而不比說得是對的:美國有看不見的大猩猩心理實驗... - TJKCB - ♀
(5931 bytes) (15 reads) 03/09/2025 17:17:26
You superbly capture the essence of the emotional complexity of Love. Your phrase "渴望拥有,但是也会成全;是放肆,也是克制。或者很珍视,不想轻易去触碰,害怕失去,或者想慢慢体会爱情中那种说不出的,又苦又甜的滋味" captures the essence of the emotional complexity that Jerome David Salinger explores in "The Heart of a Broken Story." The narrator’s view on love is both cautious and yearning, simultaneously desiring connection while also wrestling with the fragility of that love. This reflects the bittersweet, paradoxical nature of love—a theme that is central to Salinger’s writing and resonates deeply with anyone who has ever felt the contradictory forces that love can evoke.
** A fully expanded version of the above summary is as follows.
The interpretation "渴望拥有,但是也会成全;是放肆,也是克制。或者很珍视,不想轻易去触碰,害怕失去,或者想慢慢体会爱情中那种说不出的,又苦又甜的滋味" (desire to possess but also to let go; both reckless and restrained; either cherishing but afraid to touch, fearing loss, or slowly savoring the bittersweetness of love) is a fitting reflection on the themes of J.D. Salinger's story "The Heart of a Broken Story."
Salinger's writing often delves into the complexity of human emotions, particularly those tied to love and relationships. In "The Heart of a Broken Story," the narrator explores the nuances of love—its contradictions, its struggles, and its emotional weight. Here’s why this interpretation resonates with the themes of the story:
In "The Heart of a Broken Story," there’s a sense that love can be deeply treasured, but also so vulnerable that engaging with it might lead to pain or disappointment. This is a poignant reflection of human relationships, where people may pull back from fully committing or expressing love because they fear what might happen if they do.
This line reflects the delicate nature of love, which cannot always be understood or articulated. It is felt in quiet moments, in the spaces between words and actions, where love is experienced not just as an emotion but as something that evolves over time, with both joy and sorrow intertwined.
***
https://youtu.be/8QxUuFW2x2E?si=KCiUCrtmFJg4ut1f
一个成熟的男子,则愿意为某种事业卑贱地活着。”
这句话是《麦田守望者》中的重要名句,
**
来源: dhyang_wxc 于 2025-03-09 07:46:46
回答: 《论语》君子周而不比 六祖惠能 南懷瑾 李敖方舟子 由 TJKCB 于 2025-03-07 22:02:59
美國有看不見的大猩猩心理實驗。中國人有一葉障目,不見泰山的成語。一葉可以是一葉,也可以是書本、專業、學科、學說、某一種可道之道,學位職位等排不上號,算不上一葉。周,就如見泰山,見大猩猩。
印度有個故事,一家分19頭牛,遺囑說老大1/2,老二1/4,老三1/5,沒法分。路過的老頭兒有一頭牛,送給他們,就分開了。剩下一頭,路過的老頭兒仍舊領走。南懷瑾所講的,沒什麼用,就像這老頭兒的牛。拿著葉子說:我這片比你的更有系統、更嚴密、更符合啥啥學……扯什麼泰山——這種事,不要說君子不去作,路過的也看不下去。
對只會比的人來說,宗教也如一葉。西方人到教會作見證,講自己拾到的這一葉那一葉,終歸還知道有個泰山。有些國人去教會,卻只學了個比:這片葉你有嗎?所以問題在人,不在葉。《心經》有負舟的比喻。
印度有個故事,一家分19頭牛,遺囑說老大1/2,老二1/4,老三1/5,沒法分。路過的老頭兒有一頭牛,送給他們,就分開了。剩下一頭,路過的老頭兒仍舊領走。南懷瑾所講的,沒什麼用,就像這老頭兒的牛。拿著葉子說:我這片比你的更有系統、更嚴密、更符合啥啥學……扯什麼泰山——這種事,不要說君子不去作,路過的也看不下去。
對只會比的人來說,宗教也如一葉。西方人到教會作見證,講自己拾到的這一葉那一葉,終歸還知道有個泰山。有些國人去教會,卻只學了個比:這片葉你有嗎?所以問題在人,不在葉。《心經》有負舟的比喻。



优秀的孩子《麦田守望者》哈麻牛剑 - TJKCB - ♀



• 没看过这本书,但我听你说了,感觉这个死去不是不计回报地付出,而是为了维持一种体面而无休止地内耗内卷 - 想做土家人 - ♀

• Not really. Read it again! - TJKCB - ♀


• 谢谢分享导读,这是高中生必读书 - 米汤 - ♂



• 高中生必读书,要详细解读的。这个作者在the heart of a broken story - Numero - ♀



• 若即若离的意思? - 平常心安 - ♀


• 我觉得可以有很多的解读。渴望拥有,但是也会成全;是放肆,也是克制。或者 - Numero - ♀



• You superbly capture essence of emotional complexity Love... - TJKCB - ♀


• 曾经沧海难为水, 除却巫山不是云。 取次花丛懒回顾, 半缘修道半缘君。 - TJKCB - ♀



• not a touch--Love as Subtle, elusive, Unspoken - TJKCB - ♀



• 刚看文字就觉得像冯唐的口气,看到底部果然是他。LOL - 静听秋雨 - ♀



• child's uniqueness一个人的口气真是带着教育和生活的烙印,如影随形。 - TJKCB - ♀


• 哈哈 - oryzivore - ♂

• 今天Julie说了一句,说中国人应该有更多positive 思维。看紫檀讨论,觉得这个观点太对了。老中有太多负面思维。 - Bailey4321 - ♀


• 周而不比說得是對的:美國有看不見的大猩猩心理實驗... - TJKCB - ♀


高中生必读书,要详细解读的。这个作者J.D. Salinger (Jerome David Salinger) "the heart of a broken story" 里写的关于love的一句话,我倒是特别喜欢: “There are some people who think love is sex and marriage and six o’clock-kisses and children, and perhaps it is, Miss Lester. But do you know what I think? I think love is a touch and yet not a touch.” 尤其是最后一句. elaborate on "I think love is a touch and yet not a touch" with cited story lines.
ChatGPT said:
The quote "I think love is a touch and yet not a touch" from J.D. Salinger’s short story "The Heart of a Broken Story" reflects a deeper, more nuanced view of love, one that goes beyond physical affection or traditional expressions of romantic relationships. To understand this quote fully, let’s look at the story and its context.
Context of the Quote
This line is spoken by the narrator in a conversation with Miss Lester. The narrator is reflecting on the differences between people's perceptions of love, which are often based on more conventional, visible markers like sex, marriage, and children, and his own, more subtle view of love. The idea that "love is a touch and yet not a touch" speaks to the paradoxical nature of love—while love often involves a physical component (a "touch"), it transcends physicality in a deeper sense. The touch may be symbolic, not necessarily involving physical contact, but rather an emotional or intellectual connection that leaves a lasting impression without being overtly expressed.Elaboration on the Line "Love is a touch and yet not a touch"
Salinger's stories often explore themes of disillusionment, isolation, and the complexity of human emotions. In "The Heart of a Broken Story," the narrator is an introspective character who grapples with feelings of loss and an inability to fully engage with the world around him.-
Physical Touch vs. Emotional Touch: The narrator distinguishes between physical touch (which could be something like a kiss or a hug) and an emotional "touch" that goes beyond mere physicality. In this sense, the phrase "not a touch" could refer to the idea that love doesn’t always need physical proximity to be felt or understood. Love, in the narrator's eyes, is often an invisible bond that is felt emotionally and psychologically, rather than through explicit actions.
-
Love as Subtle and Unspoken: In many of Salinger's works, characters experience complex emotions that aren’t easily articulated. This "touch" could be referring to moments of deep connection, like the quiet understanding between people or the brief, meaningful exchanges that aren’t necessarily expressed through words or physical actions. A simple glance, a gesture, or an unspoken bond could embody love, even though there isn’t a “touch” in the literal sense.
-
The Ambiguity of Love: Love is often portrayed in Salinger’s stories as something difficult to define or contain. The phrase "not a touch" may indicate that love is something intangible or elusive, not easily pinned down or understood. It exists in the small moments, the spaces between words and actions, and in the lingering emotions that aren't expressed through physical touch. It’s the kind of love that stays with a person long after a conversation or an encounter, a feeling that can't be reduced to simple definitions.
-
In the Context of the Story: In "The Heart of a Broken Story," the narrator is telling a story about his own experiences with love and relationships, filtered through his perspective of feeling broken or disconnected. His reflection on love being "a touch and yet not a touch" may also suggest that love is fleeting, elusive, and sometimes out of reach, much like the "touch" that isn’t really a touch. In this sense, the story deals with the fragility of human relationships and the difficulty in finding genuine connection, especially in a world that often prioritizes outward symbols of love over the internal, emotional aspects of it.
Examples from Salinger's Works:
Salinger often explores the idea of emotional connection without physical interaction in his other works as well. For instance:-
In The Catcher in the Rye, Holden Caulfield struggles with emotional isolation and the desire to connect with others in meaningful ways. His relationship with Phoebe and his desire to protect her from the harsh realities of the world reflect a form of love that is more about emotional safeguarding than physical affection.
-
In Franny and Zooey, the two characters discuss spirituality, love, and self-realization. The novel explores the idea that love can be an intellectual or spiritual connection rather than a physical or romantic one. Their conversations reflect an understanding of love that goes beyond the conventional forms, similar to the "touch and yet not a touch" idea.
Conclusion:
The quote "I think love is a touch and yet not a touch" reflects Salinger's nuanced understanding of love as something more profound and complicated than what society traditionally defines. It suggests that love isn’t just about the physical or tangible expressions of affection, but also about the unspoken connections, the quiet moments, and the emotional bonds that remain invisible yet powerful. This perspective on love invites readers to consider the depth and subtleties of relationships that go beyond conventional expressions, emphasizing the emotional, intellectual, and spiritual dimensions of love.• 高中生必读书,要详细解读的。这个作者在the heart of a broken story - Numero - ♀



• 若即若离的意思? - 平常心安 - ♀


• 我觉得可以有很多的解读。渴望拥有,但是也会成全;是放肆,也是克制。或者 - Numero - ♀



• You superbly capture essence of emotional complexity Love... - TJKCB - ♀


• 曾经沧海难为水, 除却巫山不是云。 取次花丛懒回顾, 半缘修道半缘君。 - TJKCB - ♀



• not a touch--Love as Subtle, elusive, Unspoken - TJKCB - ♀



• 刚看文字就觉得像冯唐的口气,看到底部果然是他。LOL - 静听秋雨 - ♀



• child's uniqueness一个人的口气真是带着教育和生活的烙印,如影随形。 - TJKCB - ♀


• 哈哈 - oryzivore - ♂

• 今天Julie说了一句,说中国人应该有更多positive 思维。看紫檀讨论,觉得这个观点太对了。老中有太多负面思维。 - Bailey4321 - ♀


• 周而不比說得是對的:美國有看不見的大猩猩心理實驗... - TJKCB - ♀


You superbly capture the essence of the emotional complexity of Love. Your phrase "渴望拥有,但是也会成全;是放肆,也是克制。或者很珍视,不想轻易去触碰,害怕失去,或者想慢慢体会爱情中那种说不出的,又苦又甜的滋味" captures the essence of the emotional complexity that Jerome David Salinger explores in "The Heart of a Broken Story." The narrator’s view on love is both cautious and yearning, simultaneously desiring connection while also wrestling with the fragility of that love. This reflects the bittersweet, paradoxical nature of love—a theme that is central to Salinger’s writing and resonates deeply with anyone who has ever felt the contradictory forces that love can evoke.
** A fully expanded version of the above summary is as follows.
The interpretation "渴望拥有,但是也会成全;是放肆,也是克制。或者很珍视,不想轻易去触碰,害怕失去,或者想慢慢体会爱情中那种说不出的,又苦又甜的滋味" (desire to possess but also to let go; both reckless and restrained; either cherishing but afraid to touch, fearing loss, or slowly savoring the bittersweetness of love) is a fitting reflection on the themes of J.D. Salinger's story "The Heart of a Broken Story."
Salinger's writing often delves into the complexity of human emotions, particularly those tied to love and relationships. In "The Heart of a Broken Story," the narrator explores the nuances of love—its contradictions, its struggles, and its emotional weight. Here’s why this interpretation resonates with the themes of the story:
1. Desire and Letting Go (渴望拥有,但是也会成全)
The narrator in the story feels an internal conflict between wanting to possess love—seeking an ideal, fulfilling connection—and the need to let go or allow space for something more authentic. This dichotomy is at the heart of the complexity of love. In love, there’s often a pull between wanting to hold onto someone or something, and the recognition that true love sometimes involves letting go, giving the other person the freedom they need. This is particularly clear in Salinger’s exploration of characters who desire connection but also fear being consumed by it.2. Recklessness and Restraint (是放肆,也是克制)
Love is often portrayed as reckless, spontaneous, and overwhelming. Yet, it’s also something that requires restraint, carefulness, and patience. The balance between these two elements—passion and control—is a recurring theme in Salinger's works. In "The Heart of a Broken Story," characters experience a desire to be unrestrained in their emotions, but also recognize the need for emotional control. This tension reflects the complexities of love, where feelings of longing or attachment are tempered by an awareness of the consequences or the fragility of relationships.3. Cherishing but Afraid to Touch (或者很珍视,不想轻易去触碰,害怕失去)
The narrator’s reflection on love includes the idea that love can be something so precious that it becomes almost too fragile to engage with directly. Sometimes, love is so delicate or so important to a person that they avoid "touching" it, either out of fear of ruining it or fear of losing it altogether. This hesitation, this fear of touching, reveals a vulnerability that often accompanies love—a desire to protect what is cherished from potential hurt.In "The Heart of a Broken Story," there’s a sense that love can be deeply treasured, but also so vulnerable that engaging with it might lead to pain or disappointment. This is a poignant reflection of human relationships, where people may pull back from fully committing or expressing love because they fear what might happen if they do.
4. Savoring the Bittersweetness of Love (或者想慢慢体会爱情中那种说不出的,又苦又甜的滋味)
The bittersweet nature of love—where there is both joy and sadness, passion and pain—is a central theme in many of Salinger’s works. The story explores the complexity of love, with moments of sweetness that coexist with an underlying sense of loss or longing. Love is not just about happiness, but about navigating the sadness and vulnerability that often accompany deep emotional connections.This line reflects the delicate nature of love, which cannot always be understood or articulated. It is felt in quiet moments, in the spaces between words and actions, where love is experienced not just as an emotion but as something that evolves over time, with both joy and sorrow intertwined.
***
https://youtu.be/8QxUuFW2x2E?si=KCiUCrtmFJg4ut1f
Transcript
《麦田守望者》" in English is called Catcher in the Rye and has also been translated as The Wheat Field Catcher. It is a novel published in 1951 by the American writer J.D. Salinger.
***
H/t:
Here's the edited version with proper punctuation and removed timestamps:
似乎整个中国就是四所大学:北大、清华、复旦、交大。
似乎英国和美国也就四所大学:哈麻牛剑。
这词是我编的,这缩写也是我编的。
“哈麻牛剑”指的是哈佛、麻省理工、牛津、剑桥。最多再加个斯坦福和UC伯克利。
剩下的学校似乎都不是学校,就像诗里说的:“曾经沧海难为水,除却巫山不是云。” 你走之后,所有的人都不是你。
刚才说的是大学。中学、小学、幼儿园,多多少少也存在着明确的歧视链。如果你没进这四五所顶尖学校,你就不是优秀的孩子,不是“好孩子”。你就是冯老师理想中的“坏孩子”,或者只是很普通的“其他孩子”。
但父母的这种思想对不对?
如果用常识来看,用“站着说话不腰疼”的角度来看,我觉得是有严重问题的。
一个严重问题是,大多数父母没有看到一个残酷的概率问题。无论你觉得孩子多么优秀,如果你期待他走“哈麻牛剑”或“清华北大复旦交大”这条路,那就是一条非常狭窄的路。
幼儿园上得再好,他不一定能上好小学;
好小学上得再好,他不一定能上好中学;
好中学上得再好,他不一定能上好大学;
好大学上得再好,他不一定能进麦肯锡;
即使进了好公司,他也不一定能在好公司里出类拔萃。
更悲惨的是,即便他一路顺遂,在好公司里也出类拔萃了,并不意味着他会很幸福。你说,何必呢?
特别是我想指出的第二点:如果你的孩子不是那块料,你却生生地要激励他,强迫他成为一级又一级的“优秀生”,他会耗费大量的能量,失去欣赏世界的机会,失去游乐玩耍、享受做“坏孩子”的快乐。他失去了这一切,在过程中很可能会产生各种挫败感。
刚才讲的这些父母的期待,孩子被迫跟随父母的期待前行,最终产生的各种挫败感,就是《麦田守望者》的开头。
霍尔顿就读于当地最好的预科学校,正在与对手进行乒乓球比赛。他的故事就从这里开始。可是,他一上来就不走运——他输掉了比赛的赛点,作为击剑队队长,他把比赛装备遗落在了纽约地铁里,导致比赛被迫取消。
然后,他得知自己因多科不及格被学校开除,必须在圣诞节后离开学校。圣诞节从周三开始,他决定去历史老师斯本赛先生家道别。他不希望老师因为给他打了不及格而自责,于是想告诉他,自己退学并不是他的责任。
这种情绪贯穿整个故事:一直不顺,一直不爽,各种别扭。他逃到纽约,跑到格林威治厄尼夜总会,叫了一名妓女Sunny——充满阳光的Sunny,并把她带回客房。
在灯光下,他发现这个女孩和自己年龄相仿。当她脱去上衣时,他不知所措。他告诉她:“我就想跟别人聊天,我不想滚床单。我才16岁,我才15岁……阿姨,我还小,我还只是个孩子。”
女孩很生气,转身离开。尽管霍尔顿已经按时付费,她还是带着老鸨回来向他索要更多的钱。Sunny从他的钱包里又拿走了5美元,而老鸨莫瑞斯则对他一顿拳打脚踢。
嫖娼的结果竟然是被打一顿。之后,他的生活充满了更多这样的例子:干什么都不成,干什么都不顺,青春的失败感扑面而来。他持续在青春的失败状态中思考着——悬崖就在前方,潜在的失败就在前方。
他希望做一个“麦田守望者”,希望所有的孩子不要掉进悬崖。或许可以有少量的小失败,但不要跌落深渊。他希望保护孩子们的纯真,尽管他自己还是个孩子,尽管他面对了无数的失败。
然而,他的老师却持不同的观点。霍尔顿的英文老师安多里尼先生告诉他——
“一个不成熟的男子,会愿意为某种事业英勇地死去。
一个成熟的男子,则愿意为某种事业卑贱地活着。”
这句话是《麦田守望者》中的重要名句,也是霍尔顿完全不认同的观点。
但我呢?我觉得我的三观更接近霍尔顿。
我宁可为了某个事业英勇地“死去”——当然,这里的“死去”可能是带引号的,意味着不成比例的投入、大量的时间消耗、极少的回报。
比如我的写作,比如我在医疗领域的努力,比如我对古器物的热爱。这些可能都不是“名利最大化”的最佳选择,但我乐意去做。
按照安多里尼先生的定义,这或许是不成熟的表现。但我不这么认为。
我认为,为某个事业奉献,反而是成熟的表现。
***
H/t:
Here's the edited version with proper punctuation and removed timestamps:
似乎整个中国就是四所大学:北大、清华、复旦、交大。
似乎英国和美国也就四所大学:哈麻牛剑。
这词是我编的,这缩写也是我编的。
“哈麻牛剑”指的是哈佛、麻省理工、牛津、剑桥。最多再加个斯坦福和UC伯克利。
剩下的学校似乎都不是学校,就像诗里说的:“曾经沧海难为水,除却巫山不是云。” 你走之后,所有的人都不是你。
刚才说的是大学。中学、小学、幼儿园,多多少少也存在着明确的歧视链。如果你没进这四五所顶尖学校,你就不是优秀的孩子,不是“好孩子”。你就是冯老师理想中的“坏孩子”,或者只是很普通的“其他孩子”。
但父母的这种思想对不对?
如果用常识来看,用“站着说话不腰疼”的角度来看,我觉得是有严重问题的。
一个严重问题是,大多数父母没有看到一个残酷的概率问题。无论你觉得孩子多么优秀,如果你期待他走“哈麻牛剑”或“清华北大复旦交大”这条路,那就是一条非常狭窄的路。
幼儿园上得再好,他不一定能上好小学;
好小学上得再好,他不一定能上好中学;
好中学上得再好,他不一定能上好大学;
好大学上得再好,他不一定能进麦肯锡;
即使进了好公司,他也不一定能在好公司里出类拔萃。
更悲惨的是,即便他一路顺遂,在好公司里也出类拔萃了,并不意味着他会很幸福。你说,何必呢?
特别是我想指出的第二点:如果你的孩子不是那块料,你却生生地要激励他,强迫他成为一级又一级的“优秀生”,他会耗费大量的能量,失去欣赏世界的机会,失去游乐玩耍、享受做“坏孩子”的快乐。他失去了这一切,在过程中很可能会产生各种挫败感。
刚才讲的这些父母的期待,孩子被迫跟随父母的期待前行,最终产生的各种挫败感,就是《麦田守望者》的开头。
霍尔顿就读于当地最好的预科学校,正在与对手进行乒乓球比赛。他的故事就从这里开始。可是,他一上来就不走运——他输掉了比赛的赛点,作为击剑队队长,他把比赛装备遗落在了纽约地铁里,导致比赛被迫取消。
然后,他得知自己因多科不及格被学校开除,必须在圣诞节后离开学校。圣诞节从周三开始,他决定去历史老师斯本赛先生家道别。他不希望老师因为给他打了不及格而自责,于是想告诉他,自己退学并不是他的责任。
这种情绪贯穿整个故事:一直不顺,一直不爽,各种别扭。他逃到纽约,跑到格林威治厄尼夜总会,叫了一名妓女Sunny——充满阳光的Sunny,并把她带回客房。
在灯光下,他发现这个女孩和自己年龄相仿。当她脱去上衣时,他不知所措。他告诉她:“我就想跟别人聊天,我不想滚床单。我才16岁,我才15岁……阿姨,我还小,我还只是个孩子。”
女孩很生气,转身离开。尽管霍尔顿已经按时付费,她还是带着老鸨回来向他索要更多的钱。Sunny从他的钱包里又拿走了5美元,而老鸨莫瑞斯则对他一顿拳打脚踢。
嫖娼的结果竟然是被打一顿。之后,他的生活充满了更多这样的例子:干什么都不成,干什么都不顺,青春的失败感扑面而来。他持续在青春的失败状态中思考着——悬崖就在前方,潜在的失败就在前方。
他希望做一个“麦田守望者”,希望所有的孩子不要掉进悬崖。或许可以有少量的小失败,但不要跌落深渊。他希望保护孩子们的纯真,尽管他自己还是个孩子,尽管他面对了无数的失败。
然而,他的老师却持不同的观点。霍尔顿的英文老师安多里尼先生告诉他——
“一个不成熟的男子,会愿意为某种事业英勇地死去。
一个成熟的男子,则愿意为某种事业卑贱地活着。”
这句话是《麦田守望者》中的重要名句,也是霍尔顿完全不认同的观点。
但我呢?我觉得我的三观更接近霍尔顿。
我宁可为了某个事业英勇地“死去”——当然,这里的“死去”可能是带引号的,意味着不成比例的投入、大量的时间消耗、极少的回报。
比如我的写作,比如我在医疗领域的努力,比如我对古器物的热爱。这些可能都不是“名利最大化”的最佳选择,但我乐意去做。
按照安多里尼先生的定义,这或许是不成熟的表现。但我不这么认为。
我认为,为某个事业奉献,反而是成熟的表现。