回复sunflower28的评论:
well, you need to pay private school whether the mother works or not. SO the only difference here is the nanny's salary. And i make much more than what you calculated. My husband even makes much more than what I make. So you are right, this is a personal choice. For me, working actually helps my emotional and mental health.
If a couple earn 6 figure each, your after tax income is 50% or less. If your kids go to private school with full aid, that's $50,000 cash. a nanny, etc, cost you $15,000. That's total $65,000(AMT may cost you more). This equals to $130,000 salary.
Finally, I believe in this situation, working or not is a personal choice.
"It is good to go back to work.Next time if you want your husband to do chores but he doesn't, just tell him to get off the house or you move out. For a wife and a husband, the most important is to respect each other." -I won't move out. He will be the one.
"Don't care about how much you invested in the family, and how much your husband owned now. It is sunk cost. You never get them back." - Yes, I will get it back. It is called the investement for his career and it will be taken into account in alimony.
Have a nice weekend.
xintong2006 发表评论于
要想不为五斗米折腰,也得有一个象你的好老公一样的人在身边才行呀
呵呵
pinshiwang 发表评论于
回复yiqingshen的评论:Technically, I think it is better for the family to be a house wife, but it is not good for yourself. for me, I won't take the risk to rely on my husband completely. Maintainting independence is very important for a female. It is nothing to do with money.
It is good to go back to work.Next time if you want your husband to do chores but he doesn't, just tell him to get off the house or you move out. For a wife and a husband, the most important is to respect each other.
Be yourself! If your husband doesn't care about your feeling, it would be fine. But you have to care about yourself and respect yourself. If you can earn respect from your husband, ok! If you can't, it is unnecessay to stay with him. Don't care about how much you invested in the family, and how much your husband owned now. It is sunk cost. You never get them back. If you are still stay at home and endure him, you will lose more.
Yes, I am getting back to my own feet now, as my youngest is going to kindergarten this fall.
Based on my experience and observation, although my husband won't say that he wants me to work, deep down, he expects me to do all work at home as well as having an income. I don't want to generalize it. It could be a reference to those who want to quit job.
Finally I no longer counting how much I have to pay for a babysitter and see if it worth working. I paid a huge price for it.
toobusy 发表评论于
回复yiqingshen的评论:
your husband is unbelievable! maybe it is time for you to consider going back to work?
I am a professional with a six-figure income. So even though I have a child I still work, because my salary could pay for 10 nannies. But I don't feel pressure as I tell myself I am working out of my choice, if it is too stressful I can quit any time (my husband has a pretty good income too). But I do feel that when my husband talks to his colleagues and friends about me he is proud of me, even though I do very little housework.
jwayne_1 发表评论于
money may not be important, but career is. many american women felt very empty and helpless after the kids no longer need them 24/7.
yiqingshen 发表评论于
I felt the same way the first two years. After three years staying at home, my husband took every thing granted. He no longer appreciate every meal he has after working, and does less and less at home.
It is the 6th year. That is what he told me after we had some argument:
"You are just the house maid. If you want to stay in this house, you have to do everything. Other wise, get out of my house and make your own living. ... Do you want me to pay you, pay you as a house wife?!
You are a failure in your career, a failure of life!"
Bt the way, I am a PhD who brought him from China all the way to US, and then sacrified everything for his career and children.
