回答乡下人进城“耶稣的爱”（爱的定义）

不知道女士们有没有和我相似的体会。有时遇到美国男士对我说：“I love you”。郁闷坏了，这个对我来说只有应该在夫妻间使用的词，他们怎么说得这么轻易，于是特地讨教了一位美国女士，才解开这个疙瘩。她说美国人在很多方面都滥用“love”这个词。我love冰激凌，我love某项体育活动，网球的零分也是love,还有 ”fall in love”都是这个词，所以人家对我说“I love you”，尤其第一次见面的男士，大都是客气的说法。庆幸查清楚美国人怎么用这个词，否则还真容易误解。同样，在阅读新约的时候，也要弄明白“爱”的定义，以免错爱和爱错了。希腊语对“love”有四种解释。它们分别是： "storge" (affection), "philia" (friendship), "eros" (sexual or romantic love) and "agape" (selfless love). ΚΑΤΑ ΛΟΥΚΑΝ 6:27 αλλα υμιν λεγω τοις ακουουσιν αγαπατε τους εχθρους υμων καλως ποιειτε τοις μισουσιν υμας （希腊文路加福音6：27）αγαπατε 是 love的意思，而且是agape的意思。对agape进一步的解释摘抄如下：
“A·ga´pe, carries the meaning of love guided, or governed, by principle. It may or may not include affection and fondness. That a·ga´pe may include affection and warmth is evident in many passages. At John 3:35, Jesus said: “The Father loves [a·ga·pai´] the Son.” At John 5:20, he said: “The Father has affection for [phi·lei´] the Son.” Certainly God’s love for Jesus Christ is coupled with much affection. Also Jesus explained: “He that loves [a·ga·pon´] me will be loved [a·ga·pe·the´se·tai] by my Father, and I will love [a·ga·pe´so] him.” (Joh 14:21) This love of the Father and of the Son is accompanied by tender affection for such loving persons. Jehovah’s worshipers must love him and his Son, as well as one another, in the same way.—Joh 21:15-17.

So, although distinguished by respect for principle, a·ga´pe is not unfeeling; otherwise it would not differ from cold justice. But it is not ruled by feeling or sentiment; it never ignores principle. Christians rightly show a·ga´pe toward others for whom they may feel no affection or fondness, doing so for the welfare of those persons. (Ga 6:10) Yet, though not feeling affection, they do feel compassion and sincere concern for such fellow humans, to the limits and in the way that righteous principles allow and direct.

However, while a·ga´pe refers to love governed by principle, there are good and bad principles. A wrong kind of a·ga´pe could be expressed, guided by bad principles. For example, Jesus said: “If you love [a·ga·pa´te] those loving you, of what credit is it to you? For even the sinners love those loving them. And if you do good to those doing good to you, really of what credit is it to you? Even the sinners do the same. Also, if you lend without interest to those from whom you hope to receive, of what credit is it to you? Even sinners lend without interest to sinners that they may get back as much.” (Lu 6:32-34) The principle upon which such ones operate is: ‘Do good to me and I will do good to you.’
The apostle Paul said of one who had worked alongside him: “Demas has forsaken me because he loved [a·ga·pe´sas] the present system of things.” (2Ti 4:10) Demas apparently loved the world on the principle that love of it will bring material benefits. The apostle John says: “Men have loved [e·ga´pe·san] the darkness rather than the light, for their works were wicked. For he that practices vile things hates the light and does not come to the light, in order that his works may not be reproved.” (Joh 3:19, 20) Because it is a truth or principle that darkness helps cover their wicked deeds, they love it.

Jesus commanded: “Love [a·ga·pa´te] your enemies.” (Mt 5:44) God himself established the principle, as the apostle Paul states: “God recommends his own love [a·ga´pen] to us in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. . . . For if, when we were enemies, we became reconciled to God through the death of his Son, much more, now that we have become reconciled, we shall be saved by his life.” (Ro 5:8-10) An outstanding instance of such love is God’s dealing with Saul of Tarsus, who became the apostle Paul. (Ac 9:1-16; 1Ti 1:15) Loving our enemies, therefore, should be governed by the principle established by God and should be exercised in obedience to his commandments, whether or not such love is accompanied by any warmth or affection.

Love can be misguided. For these reasons, it is evident that a person can have real, properly directed love only by seeking and following God’s spirit and the knowledge that comes from His Word. For example, a parent may have affection for his child. But he may let that love deteriorate or he may be misguided because of sentimentality, giving the child everything and denying him nothing. He may not exercise his parental authority in giving discipline and at times actual chastisement. (Pr 22:15) Such supposed love may actually be family pride, which is selfishness. The Bible says such a person is exercising, not love, but hate, because he is not taking the course that will save his child’s life.—Pr 13:24; 23:13, 14.

This is not the love that comes from God. Godly love causes one to do what is good and beneficial for the other person. “Love builds up.” (1Co 8:1) Love is not sentimentality. It is firm, strong, directed by godly wisdom, adhering first of all to that which is chaste, right. (Jas 3:17) God demonstrated this with Israel, whom he punished severely for disobedience, for their own everlasting welfare. (De 8:5; Pr 3:12; Heb 12:6) The apostle Paul says to Christians: “It is for discipline you are enduring. God is dealing with you as with sons. For what son is he that a father does not discipline? . . . Furthermore, we used to have fathers who were of our flesh to discipline us, and we used to give them respect. Shall we not much more subject ourselves to the Father of our spiritual life and live? For they for a few days used to discipline us according to what seemed good to them, but he does so for our profit that we may partake of his holiness. True, no discipline seems for the present to be joyous, but grievous; yet afterward to those who have been trained by it it yields peaceable fruit, namely, righteousness.”—Heb 12:7-11.”

根据以上的我们知道“爱”是有原则的，正义的，是建立在耶和华的原则和律法上的。不是盲目的，随性的，纵容的，软弱的，冲动的爱。也不是带有浓厚感情色彩的无条件的溺爱。拿我的高参的解释就是：“One thing that people don't always get aboout Jehovah (and by extension, Jesus) is that when the Bible says God is love, it doesn't mean a sentimental, weak love. The word for love is agape in Greek, and it means principled love, based on his laws and principles. He can never deny those out of affection for people, but he will try to educate them, so they can understand what they're doing wrong and change so he doesn't have to use a harsher discipline. Remember, he says he'll correct to the proper degree? (Jer. 30:11) He has a universal law of consequences ("reap what you sow")
that applies to gardening as well as conduct. So when the Bible talks about warnings of punishment, it's very similar to in the Garden of Eden. Jehovah wanted man to live, not die. So he said "Obey me, or you will die" He knew that he didn't create us with the ability to direct our own steps, so he was trying to emphasize the importance of letting him do it. Many times, the instances you cited are similar in thought. Do it Jehovah's way and you'll benefit. Don't and you won't. He tries to give us the strongest possible incentive: life or death.