[ZT]对自己的生命负责！

http://www.drbachinese.org/online_reading/dharma_talks/Innocent_Little_Ghosts_b/Innocent_Little_Ghosts_b16.htm

Taking Responsibility for My Own Life!

◎于安 口述 Yu An

我不能说我勇敢，但是这样的选择，心里自有一份踏实，也有一份心安。 I can't claim that I was brave; I thought it was a realistic choice (to have the baby), and I felt a sense of peace once I made the choice.

十年前，我做错了一件事──在一个糊涂的因缘下，我怀孕了。但是，我，未婚。当时的情况告诉我，如果我把孩子生下来的话，只能当一个未婚妈妈。 ? Ten years ago, I did something wrong. Being confused, I got pregnant without being married. I knew then if I gave birth to the baby, I could only be a single mother. ? 由於人身是很难得的，很不容易有做人的机会，断送一条人命，让对方失去做人的机会，是一件很残忍的事。因此，我坚持在任何情况下，不管承受多大的艰辛困苦，一定要将孩子生下来，不可堕胎！因为，我要对自己的生命负责！ ? In the endless cycle of death and rebirth, a human body is very difficult to obtain. Therefore, I thought if I were to terminate a life, I would be depriving someone of an opportunity to be born as a human being. This would be a very cruel act. Accordingly, I insisted on having the baby, no matter how much difficulty and hardship I might have to undergo. I would not have an abortion under any circumstances. After all, I must be responsible for my own life! ? 我，未婚有孕；这带给亲人一阵风暴。当时家人分成两派，一派是∶为了我的前途著想，孩子生下来後，送给人！一派是∶是自己的孩子，当然可以留下来自己养育。 ? Being single and pregnant, I caused an upheaval in my family. My family was of two minds; one faction, concerned about my future, thought I should give up the baby for adoption, while the other faction thought the baby was one of us now, and thus, we should keep the baby and raise him or her. ? 孩子生下後，是个女娃娃，我知道互为母女，这是一份特别的缘份，所以我亲自养育，并帮助孩子学习佛法，导引她有个正确的人生观，改变命运，乃至成就法身慧命。我自己当然也重新再来过，遵守五戒──不杀生、不偷盗、不邪淫、不妄语、不饮酒，以戒律做为人生的导航，就不会再走错方向了。 ? I gave birth to a baby girl, and being mother and daughter, I knew that there was a special affinity between the two of us. Therefore, I raised and educated her myself. I helped my daughter to study the Buddhadharma and guided her to develop a proper view of life, so that she could shape her own destiny and even be able to realize her “Dharma body and wisdom life.” I also started anew myself by observing the five precepts ˉ no killing, no stealing, no sexual misconduct, no lying, and no taking of intoxicants. By letting the precepts be my guide through life, I no longer will head toward the wrong directions. ? 如今，孩子将近十岁了。虽然身为一个单亲妈妈，身兼父职，这一路走来，碰到很多障碍，很辛苦的。但是，我做应该做的事，不管能力如何，能做多少就做多少，不容易的也要做。总而言之，尽力而为就是了。现在，看到孩子健康活泼地活著，再怎麽辛苦都值得！ ? Now my daughter is almost ten years old. As a single mother, I also had to fulfill the role of a father. Although it has been a hard journey as I encountered many obstacles on the way, I was doing what I was supposed to do. Regardless of my capability, I did what I could. Even if something was difficult to handle, I still handled it. In short, I tried my best. Now, watching my daughter growing up healthy and happy, everything was worth it, no matter how hard! ? 另一方面，我也很庆幸的，或许是佛菩萨的帮忙吧，我也碰到善缘，鼓舞我继续前进；也深信秉著佛陀的教诲，一定可以克服种种困境，所以我对未来还是很有信心的。 ? In addition, I am very fortunate (probably with help from the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas) that I have met people who I have wholesome affinities with, and they have encouraged me to keep moving forward. I also deeply believe that by upholding the Buddha’s teachings, I definitely can overcome various difficulties, and thus I remain confident about the future. ? 当初，我没有用另外一个错误（堕胎），去掩饰前一个错误（未婚怀孕）；相反的，面对自己的错误，担负起责任。我不能说我勇敢，但是这样的选择，心里自有一份踏实，也有一份心安。 ? More than ten years ago, I didn’t use another mistake (having an abortion) to cover up my previous mistake (getting pregnant without being married). On the contrary, I faced my own mistake, and accepted responsibility for my actions. I can’t claim that I was brave; I thought it was a realistic choice, and I felt a sense of peace once I made the choice. ? 再者，以前父母所担心的∶未婚，带著一个孩子，这一生大概就没什麽前途了。所以要我把孩子生下来後，送给人。我的体会是∶勇敢地面对自己的错误，心性平和地担负起责任，这就是成长，这就是前途！因为这里面会滋生出一股坚毅不拔的力量，陪你走在人生道上。 ? In addition, because I was a single mother, my parents were worried that I probably wouldn’t have too much of a future. Therefore, they wanted me to give up the baby for adoption. However my experience has been that by bravely facing one’s mistakes and calmly accepting one’s responsibility is growth and maturity. Because by doing so, you will develop a sense of unwavering determination that can serve you well for the rest of your life. ? 当然，我更要奉劝各位未婚的朋友，要洁身自爱，不要犯了和我十年前同样的错误。不管怎样，未婚却有两性关系，总是不对的，总是种来日苦果的因。所以，不要糊涂，要克己复礼；有礼法，有规矩尺度，才会有健康的人生！ ? Finally, I would like to offer my advice to anyone who is single -- please maintain your purity and integrity, and don’t make the same mistake as I did ten years ago. Engaging in premarital sex is improper under any circumstances, for such an action is the cause of future suffering. Therefore, don’t be confused; rather, control your desires, act with propriety and decorum, and follow the rules. That is the only way that you can lead a wholesome life!