客 至
杜甫
舍南舍北皆春水， 但见群鸥日日来。
花径不曾缘客扫， 蓬门今始为君开。
盘飧市远无兼味， 樽酒家贫只旧醅。
肯与邻翁相对饮， 隔篱呼取尽馀杯 。
歪译：
Client coming
Spilled out of the house,
erotic fluid all over the ground.
Chicks are seen to come,
screw and screw around!
The flower path,
remain untouched,
A bushy orifice,
will open for you from now on!
Away from downtown,
nothing fancy is found.
Budget being tight,
older one has nothing wrong.
The neighbor old man will suck with you,
So nice and easy to get along
He moans over the fence,
Last drop is gone.
题西林寺壁
苏轼
横看成岭侧成峰，远近高低各不同，不识庐山真面目，只缘身在此山中。
正译：
A range from side view,
Switched to a mountain from ahead view,
Viewed from far and near, with angles from above and below,
New charming pictures are shown.
Never able to know Mountain Lu’s true profile,
Because you have lost in the mountain yourself.
歪译：
Scratch on the wall of west forest temple
By “Wake up at East Slope”
Charming Mountain Lu,
I saw her curves and buns,
looked at her from side and face-to-face.
She looked amazingly different,
-- When I approached her closer,
And changed my angle from above to beneath.
In an ecstasy--I lost who she really was,
Because I was already inside of her!
