交流外篇——互相监督内部消化，老夫老妻怡然自乐

在上这个secret recipe之前，俺告诉老公，他直撇嘴：”你们这些长舌妇！要置我们这些可怜男人于死地而后快吧？可是我们还没活够，也太残酷了，跟活埋还非留口气儿一样，I bet every husband with a wife on that website will feel they live a really, really long life, well, seems longer than others” blah blah blah…

先声明，这个调料对那些在家非要当公主的作女或王后的control freak不适用, 对于苦大仇深的怨妇和一身正气木啥油墨气泡的正经人家儿的女儿和自认良家妇女也不适用！Definitely not for unmarried couples.

适应症：老夫老妻, bonded soul-mates; Both of you feel you are meant for each other and always enjoy each other’s company; You are building a very good relationship and happy life together; You two have similar tastes and basic core values, especially about people; Both of you are fun and have good sense of humor(eg. you fight, but half of your fights end up with a joke or laughers). You are very open to each other and you talk to each other almost every day about anything and everything--you don’t keep secrets from each other…缺一不可，不然不好使：）

大家肯定骂俺卖乖呢，俺知道。不过大实话：这样的婚姻是不是多数人想要的？

说正经的，其实男人女人，对婚姻以外的异性都有好奇猎奇心理，只是有的人停留在饭太稀就止步，有的要试着把饭煮稠些，有人非要吃了稀饭不可，什么样人作什么样事儿，是性格人品成长环境自己能力等内力决定的，当然也有家庭外界诱惑社会舆论等的外力的推动。要忠诚么，就要释放内部能量，缓解外部引力。

释放内部的，嘿嘿，大家都知道也听ＪＭｓ说过很多，（对了，俺的交流贴是最基础的起点哈，就像relationship 101呵呵）比如理解体贴温柔支持――即所说的上得厅堂，１０２级的就是下得厨房，这都要向咱的猫班看齐　：）２０１级的自然是驰骋卧房（这个咱可以向正ｄａｔｉｎｇ的ＭＭ取经，人家新一代尤其八十后见多识广　：））

化解外力的，就要３０１级廖，能做到心灵趣味融合沟通，共同抵御外敌，精神的物质的，其中的一项３０８就是歪门邪道。（正道的，此处省略２００字：）就说这个旁门左道，也是好多ＪＭｓ提到的用到的。

他不是喜欢美女么？不是时不时调情？或者被人挑逗？你不也稀饭帅哥么？也偶尔心跳吧？冷不丁办公室暧昧也跃跃欲试么？这样的贴咱不天天有，也周周都窜上来，所以真别端出一幅正人君子刀枪不入的架势，上来就骂男人不忠不可靠。女人好，怎么都昏了，办公室一有人送菠菜就要上网confirm？恬恬妈提到的那位更恶心，孕着还做三只手呢！

公平点，有男的要WS去flirt，是因为有贱女要flirt back，公母共处的规律，This human nature, for whatever reason, uncontrollably and undeniably exits, either for our ego or self-esteem and sexual appeal. What we can control is ourselves and maybe our own partner, by mutual efforts and fun.　

怎么办，下面的原本要只给恬恬妈，直白详细地汉语喊话，但刚才姐妹们起哄，俺就不好意思草率，老公也在旁边念秧儿，俺就太泼了，还是淑女些，含蓄些，别原形毕露了，所以改成英语格式，哈哈

There are a few steps at different fun level you can take:

1.Talk and make fun of other males and females you see together in public (in the street, in the mall): about their looks, their behavior, their “potentials”
 
2.Joke about stars/celebrities and fantasies of each other, and act on some of the practical fantasies

3.Joke/Discuss about some specific people you know or you meet and predict their personalities and their behaviors

4.Tell /Joke/Analysis the people who flirt with you/him or you/he flirt with to make a bet what the next step they may take and what you/he may react, sometimes  it can be a testing opportunity for both of you。

Nobody can stop every flirtation or have never received any flirt signals, unless you are lying or too ugly or claim you are a saint. Important part is how to act /react on it and how to solve the problems. You can do it with your spouse to spice up your relationship so as to further bond your relationship, or you deal with the tricky situation on your own and single-handedly battle the flirty incidents and further affairs.

Of course, how to communicate the above 1-4 depends on a woman’s intelligence and lead. Attention, if you do this, you need to set up a “state of play”: you have to be absolutely sure that you have the talent, the brains and heart to take all the controls, of yourself and your admirers, and your husband and his potential admirers.

If you are not prepared to control the situation and set aside some of your petty jealousy, then this is a game that will have at least two losers.