Perhaps the biggest lesson of the divorce is the failure to make mental connection with people. If you cannot even connect with the most important people in your life, they will suffer and possibly leave. I used to be a very cold person. Think about the time when Cui CHunjie met you on the road when you returned from YiZhong and he returned for from ErZhong. He was so shocked to find me so indifferent that he sent a letter later to express his frustration. Think about the time when you picked up ex-wife from the airport the first time. She was very disappointed. These might be rare occurences, but when this coldess or mental coldness is carried to family life, our better half will be very lonely mentally and feel painful. When this is carried to your friend circle, they will find you are loyal friend but there will always be some gap to separate you and friends. When this is carried to work, your colleagues will respect you and they will not get very close to you. // Where is this coldness from originally? Most possibly it is from lack of positive experience in connecting with people and lack of confidence. The childhood environment was hostile so that this has led to the feeling of others as hostiles. And therefore no motivation to connect with them. The proper way, however, to develop mental attachment with people is to seek possible friends. There will always be someone that are there for you. Don't stand alone.
