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While You Were Sleeping Dialog Transcript
Ooh
Ooh
Yeah
This will be an everlasting love
This will be the one l´ve waited for
This will be the first time anyone
Has loved me-e-e
Ooo-oh
Loving you is some kind of wonderful
Because you´ve shown me just how much you care
You´ve given me the thrill of a lifetime
And made me believe you´ve got more thrills to spare, oh
This will be You and me
Yessiree Eternally
Huggin´ and squeezin´ and kissin´ and pleasin´
Together forever through rain and whatever
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah You and me
So long as l´m livin´ True love l´ll be givin´
To you l´ll be servin´ ´Cause you´re so deservin´
Hey, you´re so deservin´
You´re so deservin´ Yeah, yeah, yeah
Ooo-oh
Love, love, love, love
Love, love, love, love
From now on From now on
From now on From now on
From now on From now on
From now on
Okay, there are two things that l remember about my childhood.
l just don´t remember it being this orange.
First, l remember being with my dad.
He would get these far-off looks in his eye, and he would say,
´´Life doesn´t always turn out the way you plan.´´
l just wish l realized at the time he was talking about my life.
But that never stopped us from taking our adventures together.
He would pack up our sometimes-working car,
and he would tell me amazing stories...
about strange and exotic lands...
as we headed off to exciting destinations like...
Milwaukee.
lt´s amazing how exotic Wisconsin... isn´t.
But my favorite memories were the stories...
that he would tell me about my mom.
He would take me to the church where they got married...
and l´d beg him to tell me more about the ceremony...
and about my crazy Uncle lrwin...
who fell asleep in the macaroni and cheese.
And l asked my dad when he knew...
that he truly loved my mom.
And he said to me, ´´Lucy, your mother...
´´gave me a special gift.
She gave me the world.´´
Actually it was a globe with a light in it.
But for the romantic that he was, it might as well have been the world.
Well, the first time l saw him,
he didn´t exactly give me the world.
lt was a $ . train token.
Uh, but l-l looked forward to it every single day.
He started coming to my booth between : and : ...
every morning, Monday through Friday.
And he was just perfect. My Prince Charming.
Well, we´ve nev-- We´ve never actually spoken.
But l know someday we will. l know it. l just know it.
And l know that someday l will find a way to introduce myself,
and, and that´s gonna be perfect.
Just like my prince.
Forty-five dollars for a Christmas tree and they don´t deliver?
You order $ worth of chow mein from Mr. Wong´s, they bring it to your door.
Oh! Ooh, l should´ve gotten the blue spruce. They´re lighter.
Aah! Ooh.
Lucy!
Nature of claim: Christmas tree through window.
H-How am l gonna put that on my insurance? They´re still pissed...
about the fire we had when Joe Jr. barbecued in the stairwell.
- l missed that one. - Oh, great sausage.
- Look, l-l´ll pay for this. - That´s okay, Lucy.
My brother Julie´s in the glass business.
Oh... l almost forgot.
Merry Christmas.
Ah, Lucy. You, you didn´t have to do that.
- Well, l wanted to. - l haven´t even gotten to my shopping yet.
Hey, Pop. Could l give that bottle of Blue Nun you got...
from Cousin Ornella to my probation officer?
Do you see we´ve got some company?
- Say hello. - Hello, Luce.
Nice, uh...
- sweater. - Thank you.
lt´s over there.
Lucy, you´re a nice girl. Joe Jr.´s still single.
Yeah, it´s a shocker.
- What do you have? - Oh, the usual.
- What´s that? - Mustard. Coke.
- Lucy! Lucy, Lucy, Lucy. - Hi, Jerry.
- l´m glad to find you here. - l was hoping you´d find me in Bermuda.
Bermuda? Oh, that´s good.
l am recommending you for Employee of the Month.
The usual.
- Really? l didn´t know there was an employee of the month. - Oh, yeah.
´´Supervisor Jerry Wallace nominates Lucy Moderatz...
´´for Employee of the Month.
´´Lucy is never tardy, always works holidays...
´´even if she has worked the previous holiday.
´´Just because she worked Thanksgiving, Lucy is willing to work Christmas too´´?
Jerry, l´m not working Christmas.
- Ah, you´ll get a nice plaque with the mayor´s stamp on it. - l didn´t vote.
- You get to ride on a float St. Paddy´s day. - l hate parades.
- Did l mention extra holiday pay? - l hate you.
Lucy.
Look, Violet is sick and Celeste can´t switch...
because she´s got some big family thing.
And l promised my kids l´d be there for them this year.
- lt stinks, Jerry. - l know it isn´t fair, and l can´t make you do it.
But, Lucy, you´re the only one--
Without family.
Merry Merry Christmas
Christmas everywhere
Merry Merry Christmas
Christmas in the air
Christmas in Chicago
New York too
Way down in New Orleans
And right here with you
Merry Merry Christmas
- Santa Claus is comin´ to town - Come on, Richie.
Jingle bells are ringin´
- Hi. Merry Christmas. - Mistletoe´s all around
Ye-- Uh--
Nice coat. Merry Christmas to you too.
You´re beautiful. Will you marry me?
l love you.
- Yo! - Hey!
- Nice coat. - lt´s Christmas.
- Look, l don´t want any trouble. Oh! - Shit!
Let´s go! Let´s go! Let´s go!
Somebody help me, please! Sir? Sir? Sir? Are you okay?
Can, can you get up? God, sir, this is not good.
Oh, god, mister, um, can you--
Are you breathing? Oh, god, you smell good!
Please wake up. Please. Please. Oh, god.
Can you wake up? Can you hear me? Um--
Oh, god! Wake up!
Somebody help me please!
Mister? Mister! There´s a train coming and it´s fast.
lt´s an express!
Oh, god!
Hi.
-All right, bring him down here. -Bring him through here. -l need a doctor here.
Dr. Stevens. Dr. Jessica Stevens.
Hi, um, excuse me. About two seconds ago, a guy--
- A man was brought in. l-l, l don´t know it. - All right. What´s his name?
- l need to know his name. You don´t know his name? - He´s right-- He´s right there.
-Why don´t you-- -Okay. No, no, you can´t go in-- -Ho, ho, you can´t go in there.
- No, no, you, you don´t understand. - Are you family?
- Family only. - No, you don´t understand, ´cause l was--
You wait there.
Okay, guys, what do we got here?
- Oh, l was gonna marry him. - Get Dr. Ortiz here.
Dr. Memrack, l.C.U. West.
- Dr. Memrack, l.C.U. West. - Come on, come with me. Over here.
- Let him hear your voice, hon. - Okay.
Hi.
Um--
Everything is gonna be okay. l know it.
- lt´s gonna be fine. - Excuse me. ls that the woman that saved his life?
- Yeah. - Whoa.
lt gets even better than that. She´s his fiancee.
Excuse me, ma´am. l´m sorry, but l need to ask you a few questions.
- O-Okay. - Officer, may l interrupt you? - Oh, sure. l´ll be right over there.
Thank you. Thank you. l´m Dr. Rubin.
- Hi, l´m Lucy. - Don´t tell me about passes!
- Where the hell is he? - Dad, don´t embarrass me. - Ooh, he´s so pale. My god!
- What is this? - This is my son. How is he? - How depressing!
- You can´t come bursting into this unit! - He´ll be all right, right?
-Right? -What happened? What´s going on? -He´s in a coma.
- On Christmas day. - Jesus!
- His vital signs are strong. His brain waves are good. - Brain waves.
- l think he´s gonna get through this. - Are you a specialist?
- How did this happen? - Um, he was pushed from the platform at the train station.
- Who´s she? - She´s his fiancee.
- His fiancee? - Yeah. - Peter´s fiancee?
- Peter´s engaged? - Yeah, l thought--
- No, you don´t understand. - Wait. Wait. - Hold it.
- He would´ve told us, right? - Now, please. Please. - He should´ve told us.
- Maybe he was busy. - Too busy to tell his own mother he´s getting married?
- No, no, no, don´t yell at him. - l´m not yelling at him. lf only Jack were here.
- Grandma? - ls she okay?
She´s got a little heart problem. She´s had three attacks already.
- They weren´t attacks. They were episodes. - Oh, geez!
-Nothing wrong with her hearing. -Excuse me, Doctor. What is she doing in here?
-Hey, buddy. She saved his life. -You saved his life?
- Yeah, yeah, but, l-- - l thought he was pushed off a train platform.
- She jumped on the tracks. - You jumped on the tracks?
- Yeah. - Doctor, it´s supposed to be family only.
- She is family. - She´s the fiancee, you idiot!
- Okay, look, l-l´m sorry. You, you, you don´t understand. - l´m awfully sorry. We haven´t...
seen him for a long time, so we didn´t know.
l always wanted him to find a nice girl.
l´m so glad he found you.
Oh, Peter.
- What-- Why did you say that? l´m not his fiancee. - Say what?
- Why did you tell me that you were? - l´m not engaged. l´ve never even spoken to the guy.
What? Well, down-- downstairs you said, you said you were gonna marry him.
Ah, geez, l was talking to myself.
Well, next time you talk to yourself, tell yourself you´re single and end the conversation.
- What am l gonna do? - l don´t know.
She held me so tight. l-l-- You know, l couldn´t-- l couldn´t tell her.
- l know. - Excuse me, nurse.
- ls there a pharmacy in the hospital? - Uh, what, what do you need?
Elsie. She wants, uh, nitroglycerin.
- Oh, for her heart problem? - Problem? Problems!
You know somethin´, l think you saved her life.
ln fact, l think you saved the whole family. Bless you.
Why don´t you come with me. l´ll take you down there.
So, tell us how you met Peter?
Ma, she doesn´t wanna talk about that now, okay?
Why not? We could all use a nice story.
- How do you know it was nice? - Of course it was nice. Why shouldn´t it be nice?
What about that other girl? What´s her name? The one he met in the bar?
What´s that got to do with the price of eggs?
- Ashley Bartlett Bacon. - Ox.
All l know is she was pretty high and mighty for someone named after breakfast meat.
Well, he has a nice girl now.
So, did you-- did you steal him from Ashley?
l bet it was love at first sight. Right?
l have a sense about these things.
- Elsie, let her tell it. - She is telling it.
l bet that he picked you up in that fancy car of his.
What was it about him that, you know, that first struck you?
lt was his, uh, smile.
They´re caps. Six hundred bucks a tooth.
Shh.
Well, um--
We saw each other, and, um...
he, uh, smiled.
And--
And l knew that... my life would never be the same.
So--
Tomorrow night, : .
What?
l got lce Capades. l know a guy.
Huh.
Hi.
Um-- Bet you´re wondering...
what l´m doing here in the middle of the night, huh?
Well, l-l thought l should introduce myself.
My name´s Lucy. Lucy Eleanor Moderatz.
l think you should know your family thinks we´re engaged.
Never been engaged before. This is all very sudden for me.
Um--
What, what l really came here,
uh, to tell you was that, um...
l didn´t, l didn´t mean for this to happen.
l, l don´t know what to do.
l mean, if, if, you were awake, l-l wouldn´t be in this mess.
Oh, god. Not that l´m blaming you. Sorry.
lt´s just that, you know, when l was, when l was a kid,
l always imagined what l would...
be like or where l would be...
or what l would have when l got older.
And, you know, it was the normal stuff.
You know, l´d have a house and family and things like that.
Not-- You know, not that l´m, l´m complaining or anything.
´Cause, you know, l have, l have, l have a cat.
l have an apartment, um--
Sole possession of the remote control. That´s very important.
lt´s just...
l never met anybody that l could laugh with, you know?
D--
Do you believe in love at first sight?
Nah, l bet you don´t. You´re probably too sensible for that.
Or have you ever like seen somebody and,
and you knew that if only that person really knew you...
they would, well, of course, dump the perfect model that they were with...
and, and realize that you were the one that they wanted...
to just grow old with.
Have you ever fallen in love with somebody you haven´t even talked to?
Have you ever been so alone you spend the night confusing a man in a coma?
Bryan Lynch. Mr. Bryan Lynch,
please call Amber Lynch at .
Oh, my god.
Bye.
- Lucy! - Hi. - We didn´t know you were here.
- Hi. - Hi. Were you here all night?
You´re like me. l could always sleep anywhere.
And believe me, she has.
Wait to go, Gram!
- So, how´s Peter? - Oh, well, he´s got more color.
- He has some color. Looks like he has some color. - Yeah.
Well, l, l have to go, so it was great to see you guys again.
- Tell her. Go on, tell her. - Yeah.
We didn´t get to, uh, celebrate Christmas, so, uh,
it would be nice if you could join us.
Oh, um-- Oh, l-l-l would love to, but l, l can´t.
- Jack´s gonna be there. - That´s right. You haven´t met Jack yet.
- No, not yet. - Oh, he´ll be so happy to meet you.
- So you´ll come tonight? - l, l, l really shouldn´t because l have to work.
-l can´t. -Well, look here. Put your phone number and address down there.
- Midge´ll call you and talk you into it. - Okay.
And here´s another card for when you change your mind.
We´re in the estate furniture business.
We buy furniture from dead people.
Okay. All right, well l have, l have it.
- So, bye. Bye. - Bye, dear. See you later.
Bye.
- Ma´am? Excuse me, ma´am. - What? What is this?
l´m sorry, Mrs. Callaghan. These are your husband´s things.
- He´s not my husband! - l´m sorry. Your fiancee.
Uh, you´re Peter´s fiancee?
- Okay. - Dalton Clark.
Colleague of Peter´s at Lubel, Parker, Jacobs and Fink.
- l have to go now. - Oh, he´s a great guy.
He´s had a tough year. What, with the accident last month and all.
- Accident? - Well, of course it was an accident?
l mean, it wasn´t my-- Did he tell you it was my fault?
We´re playing basketball, all right? l carry a pencil!
- l´m a lawyer! l do that! - Okay.
- Jesus, what´s he telling-- - lt´s gonna be okay.
- So what´s the big deal? - What´s the big deal?
Jerry, they think l´m their future daughter-in-law.
And the grandmother, then she´s got this heart thing. And if l tell her the truth,
she´s gonna have a heart attack, and she´s gonna die, and it´s gonna be on my head.
Well, then, go along with it.
And when Peter comes out of the coma,
the family´ll be so happy they won´t care that you lied to them.
They´ll probably even thank you for it.
Just mustard!
- Okay. What if he doesn´t come out of his coma? - Well, then who´s to know?
- l don´t know. Oh, no. - Ah. Look, look, Lucy.
When my mother found out l was getting married to my wife, her intestines exploded.
- Now, you tell them now-- - Oh, my god.
- Huh, you might as well shoot Grandma. - Oh!
Come on, Mel.
Mel.
What am l doing?
- Lucy! - Hi, Saul, hi.
- You made it, huh? - Yeah.
- How you feel? - Okay. Okay.
Come on, keep me company for a while. l don´t like to smoke in the house.
- Okay. l´m trying to quit. - Listen-- You want one?
That´s good. Here, sit down.
-They don´t bother you, do they? -Uh, no, no, l´m fine.
Did you know that l was Peter´s godfather?
Really? l-l thought you had to be Catholic for that.
- Ox fudged it over. - Oh.
He donated folding chairs to Father Shea´s bingo night.
You know, being a godfather is very important to Catholics.
lt means you´re practically part of the family.
Well, you´re lucky. lt´s really important...
to have family around this time of year.
Are you, uh-- l mean, are your parents with you?
No, no. My, my mom died when l was really young...
and, uh, a couple of years ago, my dad got sick...
and, uh, we moved from lndiana to Chicago so he could go to a research hospital.
Research. A medical term for very expensive, huh?
Yeah. Yeah, exactly.
l-l-l had to quit school and l started working for the C.T.A.
And, um, about a year ago,
he decided he had had enough research, and he passed away.
-My wife of years passed away two years ago, February the . -l´m sorry.
- Yeah, it was a rough time for me. - Yeah.
But Ox got me through.
- You´re good friends? - The best!
Lucy, the Callaghans,
well, they took me in as part of their family.
l´d never let anyone hurt them.
Neither would l.
l believe you wouldn´t.
Lucy? You came?
Hi, Saul. Oh, this is great!
Hey, come on in, you two. lt´s freezin´ out here. Elsie made her eggnog.
- Word to the wise: Drink soda. - Okay.
Ox, Mom, look who´s here. Lucy came!
- Oh, my! - Hi. Hi, Mary. - lt´s gonna be like Christmas.
- Come on in. lt´s cold out there. - These are for you. - Oh, sweetheart, thank you.
- We´ve got the most wonderful dinner. - lt smells so good. Hi.
This is so beautiful.
- That´s Peter on the right. - He´s so sweet.
- Oh, yeah, the squirrels. - Eggnog everyone.
Ma, where are you? l´m serving your eggnog.
l´m getting my camera.
- Come on, everybody. Get close to the tree. - Oh, Christmas pictures.
- Lucy, come on. - Come on, Lucy. - Come on, let´s go. Let´s go.
l-l don´t want-- l-l--
Watch the birdie.
- Oh, Ma, take it again. l blinked. - Well, you´re lucky. l´m blind.
- Oh, yeah. l love it. - Oh. Excuse me.
- l don´t drink anymore. - Oh.
l don´t drink any less either.
- Perhaps l should. - You got me. You got me.
- Oh, look at this. - Oh, more presents. Okay, l´ll take these two.
- What is this? - Whoopsie, whoopsie. - Open it.
- What is that? - Turn ´em over.
- Pierced? Really? - Mm-hmm.
- Oh, my god! Thank you. Thank you. - We´ll go to Walmart on Monday.
Don´t thank me. lf it was up to me, l would´ve gotten you a Barbie.
- Oh, did you like that? - More presents. Oh, boy. - lsn´t that wonderful?
- We hit the jackpot. - Ma, this is for you. - Thanks, dear.
- A present. - Oh. ´´To Ox from Uncle Al.´´
- Who the hell is Uncle Al? - Uncle Al. You know, Uncle Al from Buffalo.
- You remember Al. - Remember, Ma? You remember Al. - To Lucy from Santa.
Remember Al? He was here the night--
Once again as in olden days
- Happy golden days of yore - Seven bow ties, l bet.
- Aw, you shouldn´t have. - She made these.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Will be near to us once more
- Oh, the gold watch! l love it! - Someday soon we all be together
- Oh, sweetheart, it´s so expensive. - Hey, from Louie. l got another bow tie.
- lf the fates allow - Oh, Gram, these are so great. Thank you.
- Until then we´ll have to muddle through - Hey.
- Somehow - So pretty.
- So have yourself - You remember Uncle Al, don´t you?
- Yeah, yeah. - A merry little Christmas now
- l never really got him anything. - He had a little moustache.
- He was Daddy´s friend, right? - Yeah. Yeah!
- l know an Uncle Ed. - No, Uncle Al.
This is Callaghan. Leave a message...
and l´ll get back to you. Ciao.
Hi, it´s Ashley. Ah, Lisbon is absolutely gorgeous.
But l´m cutting my trip short because l have been doing a lot of thinking, and--
What the hey? l will marry you.
- Jack! Hey, buddy! Whoa! - Hey.
Shh. Jack. Don´t wake Lucy.
Who-- Who´s Lucy?
Lucy´s Peter´s fiancee.
No, that´s not Peter´s fiancee.
- You haven´t met her? - No.
Well, she´s great. You´re gonna love her.
You know what, kid, maybe l´ll stay the night.
- Don´t eat my cereal in the morning. - Oh, so it´s Mary´s special cereal?
The last time you took the toy surprise, remember?
- Good morning. - Oh, god.
Oh. Oh, you scared me.
- Sorry. - Um, good morning, Jack.
Um, l guess l don´t remember meeting you.
Well, it´s probably because we´ve never met.
That might have something to do with it.
Ooh. Cab. l have to go.
l´m really-- l´m really late ´cause l have to go.
But, um, l-- lt was nice to meet you, Jack. So, good-bye.
- Lucy. - Okay, look, l-l know that l--
- Hey. - Hmm?
Welcome to the family.
Oh, thank you.
Bye.
We pray that the Lord´s healing presence...
will be felt by those who are sick, and by their families.
Especially Jo-Jo Goreki, Peter Callaghan,
Craig Little and Peggy Dunne.
We pray to the Lord. Lord--
Lord, hear our prayer.
O God, You call us to live as one family.
- So, who´s this Lucy? - Save us from the mere, pragmatic views of today.
- She´s your brother´s fiancee. - That we may be the proof of Your gentleness.
You´d think if Peter were getting married,
- We ask this through Christ our Lord. - he would have announced it in the Tribune.
- We read the Sun Times. Amen. - Amen.
- So why did she sneak out this morning? - She has a job.
l like Mass better in Latin.
lt´s nicer when you don´t know what they´re saying.
- Did you get the Bourbeau estate? - Got it.
- What about Downey´s? - Got it.
- Himmelstein´s? - Yeah.
- Did you get Van Allan? - Himmelstein´s took too long.
- Aah, for Christ´s sake, Jack. - Stop swearing!
- Look, you´re runnin´ the business now. - There´s something l´d like to talk to you about.
- Talk about that later, okay? - Talk about it now. He can´t kill you in church.
- Will you please pipe down? - Hey, be nice, pally. We´re in church. - Hey.
- You´re disrupting the Mass! - Who made you the Pope?
- Ox! - How did Joe Kelly get to be a lector?
- He takes marijuana. - Amen.
- Hi, Luce. - Hi, Lucy.
Hi, Lucy.
Come on, you stupid wing nut!
Oh, your mother´s--
Excuse me? Do you live here?
Live here? l own this place.
Oh, great. Um--
Well, then you would know the woman that lives in .
Know her? l´m dating her.
Hmm.
Very clean.
Kitty?
Kitty? Rich kitty?
Come here, mealtime.
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty. Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Kitty?
Kitty? Food.
Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.
Come here.
Come here. Come on, honey.
Where are you--
Oh, l´m so sorry.
- Nice shot. - Oh, um--
l´ll get you some ice. l´m sorry. l wasn´t expecting anybody.
- Hey, how´d you get in here? - Um-- Oh.
Uh... key?
Key? Oh, you stay here a lot, huh?
Oh, you know, feed the cat.
Peter doesn´t have a cat.
Ohh.
Hello. Hello, honey. Fluffy!
Hello, Fluffy.
You must be so hungry.
Mm.
Are you gonna get that?
Uh, no, l´m, l´m gonna let the machine get it.
Hello?
lt´s for you.
Hello.
Okay. Bye-bye.
Um, that was the hospital. They say it´s customary...
for friends and family to come down and give blood.
Let´s go together.
You know what? l think maybe we should take your truck.
Oh, no. We oughta take Peter´s car.
- Okay. - You know where it´s parked, don´t you?
Oh, yeah, l, uh-- Yeah.
- Hmm. - Hmm.
Hey, we´ll have to get your picture for the mantle.
- Of, of me? - No, of you and Peter.
- l´m, l´m not that photogenic. - l doubt that.
All right. Now, l want you to sit here and sip this, or you´ll get woozy.
- When did you start seeing Peter? - September th.
- Three months. That´s quick. - You have no idea.
- That´s fast. That´s a fast engagement. - Miss! - l´m fine.
- Wait, l´m not finished with you! - Oh, l got it. l got it. l got it.
Ooh.
What the hell he´s got a TV for? He´s in a coma, for Christ´s sake!
Ox, shh. He might hear you, you know.
Then get him a radio.
- Maybe he´d like us to sing to him. - Maybe Lucy knows his favorite song.
- ´´Puff, the Magic Dragon.´´ - ´´Dragon.´´
- Oh. - ´´Dragon.´´ - Huh?
- Which one of the Three Stooges was Peter´s favorite? - Curley.
Curley! Hah!
- He´s everybody´s favorite. - No, l like Shemp.
- Favorite ice cream. - Baskin-Robbins.
- Favorite baseball team. - Chicago.
- Cubs or White Sox? - What the heck is going on?
Why are you asking her all these questions?
Don´t ask me, ask her boyfriend.
That isn´t very funny, you know.
- No, no, not this boyfriend. - He´s--
Joe Fusco.
Joe-- Joe Jr.
Mm-hmm, that´s right. Mr. Joe Fusco, Jr.
He said that you were intimate.
Yeah, well, he also said he invented aluminum foil. He´s delusional.
He was very lucid when l talked to him.
Oh, dear. Oh, dear.
- Ma, you okay? - You see what you did?
- What did l do? - Now, if she wanted to prove it, she´d prove it.
Peter has one testicle.
- No way. - Way.
About a month ago there was an accident...
and he was playing basketball and his friend had a pencil in his back pocket.
Eww!
Maybe, um--
No.
- Oh, no! - Well, somebody´s gotta look.
Don´t look at me.
- No. - Yeah, maybe, uh--
lt´s not-- lt´s not my, uh, uh--
Okay, l´m his mother.
Oh, Mom! Eww!
Well, look at the bright side.
He´s got more room in his Jockey shorts.
Ma!
- Who is it? - What gives?
- You stood me up. - For what?
- Our date. - What date?
To the lce Capades. l had to eat your ticket.
l never said l would go on a date with you.
- Yes you did. Yes you did! - No, l didn´t. No, l didn´t!
- Did too! Did! Did! - Didn´t! Didn´t! Didn´t!
- Who is it? - Lucy, it´s Saul.
- Oh, my god. - What, are ya two-timin´ Joe, Jr.?
l´m not two-timing. l never one-timed.
- Hey, l´ll fight the guy. - Hey, get in the closet.
- Not a word. - Nice panties.
Hey.
l like boxer shorts, but, uh, l´ll try these, eh--
- Sorry. - Have you got company?
- No. TV. lt´s on... next door. - Oh.
Um... you, uh, want some coffee or tea or something?
No, no. Not a-- Not a thing.
- Lucy, there´s something you should know. - What?
Well, the night you visited Peter, l was outside the door.
l know the truth.
Sorry, Saul. You now, you do-- You don´t have to worry, ´cause l´m gonna tell them everything.
Don´t tell them a thing.
Remember the day you said you´d-- you´d never do anything to hurt the family?
- Yeah? - Well, since they met you, they figure they have Peter back.
Now, if you tell them the truth, eh, it´ll take him away again.
They need you, Lucy. Just like you need them.
Now, look, l know you´re a good girl.
And l know you´ll do the right thing.
- Thank you. - Yeah. Yes, you will.
Oh-Oh, oh, by the way, how did you know about the--
Peter with the one, uh--
Ahh--
You know something? l don´t wanna know.
- Bye. - Ooh!
- Oh, god! What´re you-- What-- - Aah!
- What are you doing? - l slipped.
You´re trying on my shoes?
No! When l fell, my foot went like that, right into the shoe.
- Who is it? - lt´s me, Jack Callaghan.
- My god, doesn´t anybody use a phone anymore? - l do.
l´m not talking about numbers.
Who told?
Hi. So, more questions?
No, l have an engagement present for you.
Uh, you really shouldn´t have.
l didn´t. lt´s from my parents.
Oh.
lt´s furniture. You want me to bring it up?
Hey, was that Saul l saw leaving?
What´s that?
- Cat. - Big cat.
Um, l th-- l think y-- l think you should, um,
bring it to, uh, t-- bring it to Peter´s apartment.
- You don´t know what it is. - Well, you know,
anything would look nicer in Peter´s apartment.
You know what? l´ll come with you.
Ooh!
You know what? l think you parked too clo--
You know, l think you parked too close to the other car.
Had to. We gotta unload the furniture.
Ready for your surprise?
Oh, that is great.
That is so great.
- You like that? - Yeah.
Too bad. Ox bought you the love seat.
- Oh, l´m sorry. - Don´t be. l made this.
- This? No, you didn´t. - Shocking, isn´t it?
- Can l sit in it? - Rock out.
My god, this is perfect. You should go into business or something.
Well, then it gets tricky.
Oh, yeah, working with your dad and everything, right?
The business used to be called Callaghan and Sons,
and then when Peter went off to law school it became Callaghan and Son.
lf l were to leave, it´d just be Callaghan.
- Let´s take a second here and unlock the doors off-- - No-No, l got it, l got it.
- Oh. - See? Here we go.
Oh, this technique.
lt´s always very, very, very modern technique this way.
E-Excuse me, uh, sir, what apartment?
Uh, G.
Well, sir, l´m sorry, but guests have to be announced, ya know?
Well, l´m with her. l´m helping her.
- So? - You don´t know her?
No.
Bu-But l´m new here.
Oh, well, she´s Peter Callaghan´s fiancee in G.
Ohh! Oh, yeah.
They told me about her, sir. She´s scary.
Tell me about it.
- Ooh! - Be careful.
Uh, maybe we should, uh, angle it a little bit.
Um... l think it´s wedged.
Why don´t you step back for a little bit? l´m gonna try an old trick.
What´s-What´s the trick?
- Push it really hard. - ´Kay.
- Okay, okay, push. - l did.
Do you want me to help you now?
- All right, a little help would be good. - ´Kay.
´Kay. One, two, three-yah!
Ow! Ooh!
Ooh.
l think the sofa should go right there.
Oh, no! No, no, no, look at this!
ldiot just blocked me in.
But l told you not to park that close.
Aaah!
Hey, check the meter. See what time it is.
Um, it´s six o´clock.
They can pretty much stay here all night if they wanted to.
All night, huh?
Um, good night.
You just gonna leave me here with the truck?
Basically, yeah.
Well, maybe l oughta walk you back.
What for?
For protection.
Oh, no, l´m fine. l´m okay.
For me. l don´t want to be here by myself.
This is Chicago.
- You look cold. - Hmm?
- You look cold. - Wha--
Probably because l am cold.
- How about you? - This jacket´s reversible.
- l´m wearing the warm side now. - Oh, l see!
You need a better coat.
What? This was my dad´s.
Ahh, then he´s probably freezing.
He passed away.
- Sorry. - lt´s not your fault.
Passed away last year.
l don´t even remember my mom, so--
What was he like?
He was a lot like me. Dark hair, flat chest.
What do you remember most about him?
Oh-ho, that. Okay.
Um, well--
He liked maps.
Yeah, l live by maps. My truck´s filled with them.
He used to hear of a place on the TV,
we would pull out the atlas, we´d find where it was.
We´d route out this, like, little way to get there.
lf there were one place in the world where you´d go, where--
- Florence. - ltaly, ooh.
l haven´t delivered any furniture to Florence yet, but l´m told it´s nice.
- Yeah. - l take it you´ve never been there.
Well, you know, the El doesn´t exactly make it all the way to Florence, so--
Oh, but l do have...
- my passport. - You have your passport!
- Yes, l do! - With you?
Yes. Well, just in case l need to quickly leave the country,
- you need to have-- - That´s perfect. That´s great. Oh, you´re right.
You´re not very photogenic at all.
Just joking. There aren´t any stamps in that.
Yeah, well, l haven´t gone anywhere yet.
But, you now, l´m planning a trip to Florence really soon,
so, you know, l´ll go.
That´ll make your dad very proud.
Yeah.
You know, in a very small way,
you kind of remind me of him a little bit.
l see. So, he was a classy guy, always a gentleman.
- A working man who-- - Who just stepped in doggy poopy.
Ohh!
That´s, now that´s classy. That´s classy!
All right, tell me more. Where´d you grow up.
God, you´ve just become Mr. Chatty this evening.
Fact of the matter is, l´m about to start shivering,
and making conversation keeps my face from freezing.
Thank you. l had, um, l had a good time.
- Oh. - Mm.
S-S-Slippery here. Come on.
Got this far. l´ll take you the rest of the way.
Well, you gotta watch out. A little icy.
So, um, you gonna go see Peter tomorrow?
Oh. Whoa-oa-oa! Whoa!
Wow!
- All right-- - Do not take me with you!
- No, it´s all right. lt´s not too bad, yeah. - You got it?
- You got it? Okay. - Yeah.
Wow. Get this-- This is t-- This is big.
This-- There we go.
- Okay! - All right. Are ya all right?
This is-- Oh-- Mm.
Mm.
- All right? - Yeah.
- l think we´re all right now. - Okay?
- Yeah. lt´s just, uh-- - Okay.
- Over this way? Okay. - This way.
- Ow! Ohh! - What was that?
Was that my pants or my muscles?
Oh! Give me your hand. Give me your hand.
- Whoa-ho! - Okay. Come on!
- Hmm. - Oh, man!
You have an extra pair of pants in your apartment?
lf you fit into my pants, l will kill myself.
- You don´t have to follow me. - No, you block the wind.
l´ll wait ´til ya get inside.
Well, good night.
Night.
So l´ll see you when l see you?
Yeah.
All right, Lucy, it´s either me or him.
Him.
You don´t have to answer right away.
l´m having an affair. l like Jack.
- Who´s Jack? - Peter´s brother.
- So? - So he thinks l´m engaged.
- To who? - To Peter.
Lucy, l really don´t have time for this.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no. You have to tell me what to do.
- Tell the truth. - lf l tell Jack that l lied to his family,
he will never speak to me again.
And-And-And Ox and Midge and Mary and-and-and Saul--
Saul? Who´s Saul?
He´s a next-door neighbor.
But you know what? Actually, he knows.
Lucy, you´re born into a family.
You do not join them like you do the marines.
You have to tell me what to do.
Pull the plug.
- You are sick. - l´m sick?
You´re cheating on a vegetable.
Down and dirty.
Are you gonna fold? You´re not gonna fold.
Ooh, he is staying in with a pair.
Very impressive. Very bold, confident.
Full house. You are unlucky at cards.
But lucky in love.
´Member in like, uh, fifth or sixth grade,
l was starting to get really good at poker, and, uh,
goin´ home with lots of lunch money?
l got to know the principal´s office really well.
He always used to say to me,
´´How come you can´t be more like your brother Peter?´´
Well, you know what? l was all right with that.
l had no problems with that because l was proud of you.
And l was never envious of anything that you had.
Until now.
l´ll cut the deck. High card gets Lucy.
All right, we´ll go best out of three.
So, Lucy, have you and Peter decided where you´re gonna go on your honeymoon?
l went to Cuba.
Ricky Ricardo was Cuban.
- Didn´t Peter look great today? - Oh, that kid.
- You know, he should have been an actor. - He´s tall.
All the great ones were tall.
Lucy, you think you can find me a nice girl for Jack?
- Oh, Mom, come on. - Well, l-l-l-l--
l really don´t know Jack´s type, so l´m not one to, um--
l like blondes. Chubby ones.
- Alan Ladd wasn´t tall. - Marshal Dillon was six-foot-five.
Well, we all know who Lucy´s type is.
These mashed potatoes are so creamy.
You like brunettes.
l could never make a good pot roast.
You need good beef.
Argentina has great beef. Beef and Nazis.
John Wayne was tall.
Dustin Hoffman was five-six.
Would you want to see Dustin Hoffman save the Alamo?
- These mashed potatoes are so creamy. - Spain has good beef.
- Mary mashed them. - Cesar Romero was tall.
Cesar Romero was not Spanish.
l didn´t say Cesar Romero was Spanish.
- Well, what did you say? - l said Cesar Romero was tall.
- We all know he´s tall. - Well, that´s what l said.
Cesar Romero is tall. That´s all l said.
So if you need any help with history, don´t call me.
Now, remember, honey, if you´re free for New Year´s, we want to see you.
Thank you very much. l had a great time.
- Us too. - Thank you. Bye. - Thanks for coming.
- Bye. - Bye-bye, Lucy. - Bye-bye. Good night.
Hey, look, you guys. You´re under the mistletoe.
- Kiss her, then. - Yeah.
- lt´s mistletoe. - lt´s tradition. - lt´s Christmas.
Come on, idiot. Kiss her.
- There ya go. - Oh, yeah. - Bye.
- Good night. Bye. - Good night. - Good night.
- Good night. - Come on, Mary. We´re both on dish detail tonight.
Regular fare.
- One token, please. - Oh, my god! Mary! What are you doing here?
Hi. Do you guys wanna-- you wanna come through?
- We can? - Yeah, absolutely.
Transfer, please.
- Hi. - Hey, who´s this?
- l´m Mary. This is Beth. - Hi.
Um, Mary´s-- Mary´s my, um--
Lucy´s going to marry my brother Peter.
What? Lucy, you´re gettin´ married?
Well, it hasn´t really been announced.
So it´s a little awkward for me to say anything, and, um--
- The train. Your-- Okay. - The train. Okay. Uh, l´ll see you later.
Thank you for coming. lt´s nice to meet you, Beth.
- Girl, are you pregnant? - Yes, l´m pregnant, Celeste.
Lucy, you´re not tellin´ me what´s goin´ on! You´re not givin´ me details.
- What´s goin´ on? - Okay, Celeste.
Celeste, you have to have sex in order to be pregnant.
But l thought you were engaged.
Well, we´re-- We´re waiting.
Waiting?
Peter? Hi, it´s Ashley.
ls, is this machine working?
Look, l´m back in Chicago and, uh, l´m kind of shocked that you haven´t called me back.
Look, l really would, uh, like to hear from you, and l´d like to see my cat.
Call me.
New Year´s Eve hasn´t been the same...
since Guy Lombardo died.
l love a clarinet.
You know, nobody plays a clarinet anymore.
Guy Lombardo didn´t play the clarinet.
l didn´t say Guy Lombardo played the clarinet.
- You know, your Benny Goodman, - Hey, Pop.
- he could play the licorice stick. - We got the Van Allan estate.
- Hey, way to go. Attaboy! - Oh. That´s great. - Congratulations.
- That´s great. Attaboy. - Way to go. - Hey, everybody.
Lucy´s pregnant.
How did you find out? What do you mean she´s pregnant?
- How do you know? - Where have you been? - That´s what Beth said.
- We heard it at the token booth today. - Jack, do you know anything about this?
Go up to your room.
- Who is it? - Joe Jr.
l´m not here.
l know that trick.
Hey, my old man´s got a set of keys.
That is illegal, and you know it, Joey.
- Ta-da! - l told ´em to give me...
the same ones they use in the winner´s circle at Arlington.
They´re beautiful.
But l can´t accept them.
l could move in here. l bet you Pop would knock bucks off the rent.
l have six months left to live.
Aw, you´re just tryin´ to make me feel better.
- lt´s that other guy, isn´t it? - What do you mean?
l seen the way you look at him.
What? How do l-- How do l look at him?
Like you just seen your first Trans Am.
Aw, here, take ´em. You can lay ´em on my coffin.
Thank you.
Are you wearin´ the black bra? Ow!
l love black underwears.
- Jack. - What are you doing here?
- You´re going to a party. - Yeah, my friend Celeste is having a party tonight.
Great. Hey, l´ll drive you.
Oh, you know what? lt´s really not that far. lt´s-- lt´s fine.
No, no, no. No. Come on, come on.
Okay, but it´s, it´s really not that far.
l move a lot of things with this truck.
- So, is, um, everything okay? - Why? Why wouldn´t it be okay?
- You´re just acting really weird. - No, no, l´m not being weird.
- Yes, you are. - No, l´m not being weird.
- So, what about Peter? - What about Peter?
Peter is going to have a lot to deal with when he wakes up.
- Lucy! Hi. How are you? - Hi!
Oh, come on. Come in. Hey, everybody. Lucy and her fiance are here.
- Lucy! Hey, how´s it goin´? - Jerry, you know Peter, right?
Thank you. Hi. Take his coat, Cindy.
- Peter? - l gotta talk to you.
Geez, he looks good.
That´s not Peter. That´s Jack.
- Uh, who´s Jack again? - Peter´s brother.
- Peter´s the guy that´s in a coma. - Yeah.
-So then why did you bring Jack? -l didn´t bring Jack. He followed me here.
- So Jack´s the fiance? - No, Peter.
- Peter doesn´t even know you exist. - l know.
- So Jack is Peter? - Yeah.
- Lucy-- - Yeah?
They have doctors for this kind of thing.
Excuse me. Uh! That´s spiked.
- Thank God. - You shouldn´t have any.
- Why not? - Because it´s not good for the baby.
- Wait a minute, will ya? - lt´s freezin´! Watch out.
Uh, this whole evening did not work out well at all, and, uh--
Oh, and l´m supposed to share some responsibility in that?
No. Now-- Would you slow down a little bit?
Look. lt was just a misunderstanding,
- and on top of the Joe Jr. thing-- - Excuse me?
- lt´s nothing. - No, no, no. There´s no ´´nothing´´ now.
What Joe Jr. thing?
- The leaning thing. - ´´The leaning thing.´´
- Yeah. - Okay.
Um-- What do you-- What do you mean by ´´the leaning thing´´?
- Because he gave me flowers? - And then you leaned.
- And then l leaned. - Yeah.
Okay. How did l lean when l leaned?
- How were you leaning? - Yeah. - lt was a lot different than hugging.
Hugging´s very different.
Hugging, that involves arms and hands,
and leaning is whole bodies moving in, like this.
Leaning involves wanting...
and accepting.
Leaning--
Hey, Luce.
ls this guy bothering you?
No, no.
Are you sure? ´Cause it looks like he´s leaning.
Thank you. See?
l´ll be right over here if you need me.
Okay. Thank you very much.
l know karate.
Okay. Now-- All right. What about the other thing?
The other thing? The other misunderstanding?
Why did you think l was pregnant?
Well, Mary said that she had heard something like that.
- And you believed her? - l didn´t have any reason not to believe her.
So the only reason your brother would want to marry someone like me...
- is if l was pregnant, right? - No, no.
Good night.
Fact is, you´re not really Peter´s type.
Yeah, Jack? All right, whose type am l?
- Thank you. - Look, it´s a great idea, you and Peter.
lt´s just not obvious to the whole world, that´s all.
You know what, Jack? l´ve had a really lousy Christmas.
You´ve just managed to kill my New Year´s.
-lf you come back on Easter, you can burn down my apartment. -Hey, come on, Lucy.
-What do you want from me, Jack? -l want you not to be unhappy.
And what are you, the happiness guru, Jack? Are you happy?
Because l don´t remember you having had a conversation with your father.
l mean, you do want to leave the business, don´t you,
or is this just like another miscommunication that we are having here?
What do you know about my family?
Spending a week with ´em does not make you an expert.
Spending a lifetime with them hasn´t made you one either.
Yeah, well, l know that keeping your family happy gets complicated.
Would your father be happy knowing you´re sitting in a token booth,
planning vacations that you aren´t taking?
No, he wouldn´t. You´re right.
But you have no idea what it´s like to be alone.
Hey, you have Peter.
l don´t have anybody.
Happy New Year! Happy New Year!
Good night.
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year.
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne
We´ll take a cup of kindness yet
ln days of auld lang syne
For auld lang syne, my dear
Ox, they called me and told me to get down here. What happened?
- He´s awake. - Oh, that-- Oh.
Will the Byers family please meet in the solarium?
- Will the Byers-- - Boy, will he be glad to see you.
Yeah.
Peter?
Peter. Your family´s here, Peter.
Wh-Who are you?
My god.
He´s got amnesia.
Lacunar amnesia is a condition in which memory loss...
is localized and patchy,
limited to isolated events.
- Selective amnesia? - Okay. Exactly.
Um, l´m sorry. You-- l-l need to tell you something that is really important.
- l-l was never-- - Pregnant?
- Huh? - We know. Jack called us.
- Jack. - Hey. So he´s come out of it, huh?
- Oh, l´m so glad you´re here. - Excuse me. Doctor? He´s up again.
All right, let´s go.
Hey, Jack, l am so glad you´re here.
- Saul! - Now, listen. Let me handle it.
l´m too old a friend and too old a person for them to kill.
- l´ll take care of it, all right? - Okay.
- And l´ll do it right now. - Okay. - Come on. Let´s go.
Right behind you.
- How you feelin´, champ? - l don´t know.
- Hi. - Hey, you remember her?
- Should l? - Look closely.
She looks a little familiar. Why?
- l think it´s coming back. - l think so.
What´s coming back? Tell me. Tell me. What?
- You have amnesia. - l do?
Peter, you´re engaged.
- To who? - To Lucy.
Lucy? Who´s Lucy?
- You don´t remember, do you? - Excuse me.
- Got some Jell-O for you today. - Do l like Jell-O?
- Yum! - l think he´s had enough excitement for one evening.
- Let´s all go home. - Hang in there, champ.
- Good night, honey. - Good night, Mom.
- Oh, it´s so good to see you! - Mom!
- He looks so good, you know? - He´s going to be fine.
l think he looks wonderful.
- All right, we´ll be back. - Jack, you too. Come on. Let´s go home.
- Saul, where have you been? - What, l´m not allowed to go to the bathroom?
- Saul! - l´m handling it. l will tell them.
When? When? On my golden anniversary?
- Lucy, l´ll tell them! - You´d better tell them! - l said l´d tell them!
A, B, C, D, E, F, G
Jack, you´ve been really great this week.
Yeah, like, uh, when l accused you of lying to everybody.
Or when l accused you of having a relationship with Joe Jr.
Or when l thought you were pregnant and l announced it to all your friends.
You´ve had a really busy week this week, haven´t you?
Look, Jack, l, um--
Starting tomorrow, uh, things...
are probably gonna be kind of different.
Yeah.
l just wanted you to know that you´ve become, uh,
a really good friend.
Okay.
Good friend. Lucy!
Yeah?
l didn´t mean, uh, what l said about you and Peter.
l think you two are gonna make a really terrific couple,
and, uh, l´m really glad that you won´t be alone anymore.
- Good-bye. - Bye.
Jack, is that you?
Hey, Pop.
- Brought you some doughnuts. - You´re a savior.
Your mother´s got me eatin´ these fat-free bran muffins.
They taste like plywood.
- Catchin´ up? - Yeah, it´s been almost a week since l read the obituaries.
You know, we missed a lot of good stuff the day after Christmas.
Been a hell of a week, hasn´t it?
Life is a pain in the ass. l´ll tell ya. You know?
You work hard, try to provide for the family, and then, for one minute,
everything´s good.
Everyone´s well. Everyone´s happy.
ln-- ln that one minute, you have peace.
Pop, this isn´t that minute.
- What do you mean? - Um--
You remember that rocking chair l made for Grandma?
Are you kidding me? lt´s so fancy, she won´t even sit in it.
This fancy chair, two months ago l sold three just like it.
l´ve sold two dining tables. l got orders for six more.
That´s a good side business.
This is not a side business. This is... good business.
Wait a second. You don´t want my business?
No, l don´t.
- How long have you felt this way? - A long time.
Well, why didn´t you say something sooner?
l could´ve sold the whole damn thing to Uncle Eddy for twice its value.
l could´ve taken your mother on the cruise with Kathie Lee Gifford.
You´re not mad at me?
Are you nuts?
You are nuts! You wanna make rocking chairs.
Oh, hey, Mrs. Fletcher finally went, huh?
Her dining room alone has got to be worth grand.
Yeah. Well, those McMurphy boys, they were movin´ in before the deed was done.
- That´s their problem. They´re too pushy. - Very pushy, yeah.
- We´ll call them next week. - You´ll call ´em next week.
That´s right. l´ll call them next week.
- Okay. - Do l get a doughnut? - Uh, l´m sorry.
. Eighth-grade locker combination.
- Birth date: - - . - You have to remember Lucy.
Social Security number: - - .
You love her. You just... don´t remember her.
. grade point average, Northwestern University.
- Can l talk to Peter alone? - Everything okay, Saul?
-Senior class president, . -l just wanna talk to my godson.
- Let me take that for you. - Thanks, Mom. - We´ll be back.
- Okay, we´ll see you later, honey. - You sure, Saul?
- Yeah, yeah, sure. - See ya, son. - See ya, Dad.
Peter, l´ve known you since you were born.
l´ve been to every major event in your life from Cub Scouts to--
well, to the day you discovered hair on your schmeckel.
You got a good education.
You´re very popular with all those friends of yours. You make a nice living.
And everybody knows you´re a good-lookin´ kid.
But, Peter, you´re a putz.
- Excuse me? - Now, look, l´m your godfather.
l mean, l love ya. l couldn´t love ya any more if you were my own son.
But the fact of the matter is you´re-- Well, you´re a putz.
ls there a point to this?
Lucy.
Peter, there´s something... you have to know about her.
You see, she--
Well-- Uh--
She´s--
You know--
She´s not only your fiancee, she´s your guardian angel.
Yeah! Peter, she saved your life!
Now, she´s comin´ to see you today, and l want you to do yourself a favor.
l want you to look deeply into her eyes and listen with the heart of a man...
who has just been given a second chance at life.
And after two minutes, if you´re not madly in love with her,
why, tell her you wanna break up, and you can go back to being a putz.
But if in the two minutes you see what the rest of us only took seconds to see,
you will propose to her for the second time...
and marry her before she has a chance to escape.
Uh, before she comes, take a little time and think about...
what an old putz just told ya.
All right?
You know, if l was years younger, l´d marry her myself.
That is, if she´d convert. Hey, that´s a joke.
Oh, l know that.
- Lucy! - Hi.
- Hi. - Um.
l came to bring you back your things.
Would you like a sandwich?
No, no. l´m okay. Thanks. Can l get you anything?
l wish l had my own clothes.
Well, l like your, um, blue pinstripe.
- Double-breasted? - Yeah.
- Yeah, that´s my favorite too. - Really?
Yeah.
Please sit down.
l, l saw a picture of you, uh, when you saved the three squirrels.
Oh. They never call. They never write.
That was a long time ago.
Yeah, l guess we, we don´t get to do many heroic things as an adult, huh?
Oh, that´s for sure. You do, though!
Oh, no. Jumping in front of that train was unusual.
l don´t think l´ve done anything truly heroic in my whole life.
- l chased a purse-snatcher once. - Well, that´s something.
l pretended to pull a hamstring.
Well, most guys probably wouldn´t have chased after him in the first place.
l mean, l work at the El. Believe me, l know.
You give up your seat every day in the train.
Well-- But that´s not heroic.
lt is to the person who sits in it.
And you always gave me something to look forward to every day, so--
You know, you do remind me of someone.
lt´s probably you.
Thank you.
Uh, uh, ma´am! Excuse me. Excuse me, ma´am, uh--
What apartment?
- You´re new. - Yes, ma´am. What apartment?
l´m going to Peter Callaghan´s apartment.
Uh, and your name, please?
Ashley Bartlett Bacon. l am Peter´s fiancee.
You´re not his fiancee.
- Huh? - Huh?
Hey, lookin´ good!
Yeah, well, they´re movin´ me to the second floor.
Great. Mind if l drove?
Uh, no problem. Uh, see you by the elevators.
- All right. - Okay.
- There we go. - Oh. Uh, it´s a little drafty.
Here. l brought you some contraband.
Oh. Chocolate peanut butter. Thanks.
- Hey, Lucy´s pretty terrific, isn´t she? - Oh, yeah.
- We´re engaged, you know. - Yeah, l heard that.
Now this l remember.
Everything is better. Everything looks better, feels better.
Even this chocolate peanut butter tastes better.
Good. lt´s fudge mint.
Whatever. l´m reborn.
lf you were a priest right now, l´d confess everything to you.
No, no, don´t confess. l´m trying to be positive right now. Just eat your ice cream.
l don´t even know what my secretary sent Mom and Dad for Christmas.
lt was a fruit basket. Now, look, l don´t wanna get in--
- l´ve never been faithful to a woman. - l´m gonna leave.
Remember the squirrels?
Don´t even say it.
First l knocked them out of their nest with a rock.
- Peter. - Then l saved them.
Eww. Did you say any of this to Lucy?
That was in the past. l´m making a clean start with Lucy. She is--
She is-- She--
What is she? She´s--
l´d say that she gets under your skin as soon as you meet her.
She drives you so nuts you don´t know whether to hug her or, or just really arm wrestle her.
She would go all the way to Europe just to get a stamp in her passport.
l don´t know if that amounts to insanity...
or just being really, really likable.
No, that´s not it.
But she´s gotta be really special. She´s gotta be.
And l can spend the rest of my life finding out why.
l don´t have to know now. l don´t have to know tomorrow.
l, l don´t have to know in a year or ten years.
l don´t-- l don´t have to-- l don´t have to have all the answers today, or--
Maybe someday l´ll have a clue, but it doesn´t mean l,
l can´t make a lifetime commitment.
Does this make any sense?
Not really, but that´s common after a head injury.
My shoes.
Ah. Oh, hi.
- What´d they say? - Who?
The Callaghans. Are-- Are they inside?
You missed ´em.
- Well, what was their reaction to the news? - l didn´t tell ´em yet.
What do ya-- What do ya-- What do you-- What do you mean, Saul? What a-- What a--
- Now what about Peter? - Well, l didn´t tell him either. l--
- What? Saul, you said you were gonna handle this. - l´ll handle it.
- This is handling it? - This is handling it.
- Saul? - Listen-- What?
- You´re fired. - Fired?
- Sorry. - Pardon me.
Huh!
- Two, please. - Four, please.
Dr. Biloxi. Dr. Biloxi to l.C.U. North.
Dr. Biloxi. Dr. Biloxi to l.C.U. North.
- Thanks. - You´re welcome.
- Ashley! - Scumbag!
You´re engaged?
May l remind you that you proposed to me?
You said no. We broke up.
No, no. l was confused. We stepped back.
- You moved to Portugal. - Yes, well, well, l, l didn´t think you were going...
to run out and marry the first bimbo that you came across.
- Lucy´s not a bimbo. - Lucy?
- Lucy who? - l don´t remember.
Liar!
l don´t remember proposing. l was in a coma. l have amnesia.
Amnesia? Oh, well, now that´s rich.
All right, fine. l want my stuff back.
Fine. Then l want my stuff back.
- What stuff? - Your nose.
- You can´t take my nose back. - l paid for it.
Well, then, here. You paid for these too.
Oh, keep ´em. l´m a changed man, Ashley.
Go ahead. Go ahead and marry her, you one-balled bastard.
Holy buckets, Peter.
Movin´ on to greener pastures.
- Yeah! - You got it, pal.
Yes, the doctor will be right there.
- Lucy, they moved him. - They moved him?
- Come with me. - Where? - Downstairs.
- Lucy. - What? Oh.
- Lucy. - Hi, Peter.
- Hi. - My god, you look really good.
- l feel really good. - Um--
You know what? Facing death makes a man evaluate his life.
And l´ve been thinkin´ about mine, and l haven´t liked what l´ve seen.
l´ve seen a man who has courtside tickets to the Bulls,
a, a lucrative investment portfolio,
an apartment on La Rue du Faubourg, Saint Honore.
- Where? - Paris.
But l´ve also seen a man who has no one to trust.
No one to want to have a son with.
You were there when l needed someone the most.
You gave me a second chance at life.
Took a coma to wake me up.
My family loves ya. l might as well love you.
Lucy Eleanor Moderatz, will you marry me?
Wanda? Wanda? Are you all right?
- Um-- - Honey? Wanda?
Your hair´s lookin´ very big tonight.
Why, thank you. l love your new cologne.
Yeah, it´s called ´´Paris Guy.´´ lt´s from France.
- Nice. - How ya doin´?
Hey, are you goin´ to see Lucy?
Yeah.
She is the best-lookin´ chick in this building.
Hey!
But you are the best-lookin´ chick on the third floor.
- Joe Jr.! - Phyllis!
No? This one?
This one? Oh!
l don´t want any flowers from you, l am not wearing black underwear,
and l definitely do not want to move in with you, Joe--
Jack.
Well, l don´t have any flowers, l wouldn´t mind seeing the black underwear,
but under the circumstances, l don´t think we should move in together.
l thought you were Joe Jr.
l get that a lot.
- Do you wanna come in? - Yeah.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
- Wow. So that´s... - Wow.
- the wedding dress, huh? - Hmm?
The wedding dress.
lt works good as a tie too.
Ow. Yeah.
l just wanted to give you this before all the presents started to pile up.
l was droppin´ off some furniture in Little ltaly. l look in a window, and--
Florence.
Florence.
Thank you. lt´s really beautiful.
And l wanted to say that l think that Peter...
is a very lucky guy.
Thank you.
l had to say that because you´re gonna be my sister-in-law.
Ha, ha, ha, ha. Well, l guess we´ll be seeing a lot of each other then.
- l better get goin´. - Yeah.
Hey, Jack. Jack!
Yeah?
Can you give me any reason...
why l shouldn´t marry your brother?
Oh.
l can´t.
- What´s this? - lt´s a wedding invitation.
Wait a minute. This is your wedding invitation.
So?
Whom are we marrying?
Jerry, Peter Callaghan.
The coma guy? Are you insane?
Yes, Jerry, l´m insane.
Every day l go and l sit in a booth like a veal.
l, l work every holiday. l go home to a cat.
And now a rich and handsome man has asked me to marry him, and l have said yes.
Okay, okay. That makes me a raving, total lunatic.
The wedding is tomorrow, Lucy.
l know it´s tomorrow, Jerry. But you know what? l even wish it were yesterday.
Because you know what? That would mean that today that l would be on my honeymoon,
that l would finally have a stamp in my passport,
and that it would say ltaly on it!
What happened with the other guy?
He didn´t want me.
- Maybe she forgot. - A woman doesn´t forget her wedding day.
Maybe she´s stuck in traffic.
This isn´t-- This looks-- Does this look ridiculous?
- No, you look fine. - All right. All right.
- Well, you got the rings? - Yeah, l got the rings.
What´s the matter with you, Jack?
You suck.
l suck, or the outfit sucks?
lt´s a toss-up.
What do you need?
- Oh. - Oh. Here she is.
She´s just a little nervous.
You´re not kiddin´.
She´s lovely.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join--
l object.
Oh, gee--
l, l, l didn´t get to that part yet.
l would have to object too.
- What about you? - Oh, l´m-- l´m thinking.
What the hell is going on?
l am in love with your son.
l know.
Not that one. That one.
Jack, what the hell did you do?
He didn´t do anything. He didn´t do anything.
lt was me. lt was all me.
Um, Elsie, how you doin´? You doin´ okay?
Um, do you remember that day at the hospital?
Of course you remember that day at the hospital. Well, um, there was a little mix-up.
Um, l saw Peter get pushed onto the tracks, and, uh, l saved his life.
But when l got to the hospital, they wouldn´t let me see him.
So, um, the-- someone told the doctor that l was his fiancee.
Only, um-- Oh. lt´s not true.
l was never engaged to Peter.
Why didn´t you say something?
Because l didn´t know how to tell you.
We never even met until that day on the tracks.
And, um, it´s just when we were in the hospital room, everything happened so fast.
And l couldn´t tell you the truth.
And then l didn´t wanna tell you the truth because, um,
the truth was that l fell in love with you.
You fell in love with me?
No. No-- Yes. All of you.
l went from being all alone to being...
a fiancee, a daughter,
a granddaughter, a sister...
and a friend.
l might have saved your life on the tracks that day.
But you know what? You really saved mine.
You allowed me to be a part of your family,
and l haven´t had that in a really long time.
And l just didn´t want to let go of that.
So even though it was just for a little while, l will love them always.
l´m very sorry.
Oh, um, and l´m very sorry about your carpet.
What about my carpet?
- Peter Callaghan is engaged to me! - Oh!
- l object to this wedding. - Get in line.
And l object to your objection.
- Who´s that? - Ashley´s husband.
You proposed to a married woman?
Yes. And l was in a coma when my brother makes a play...
for my-- sort of my fiancee.
- Peter, how could you do this? - You promised me.
We were better off together.
Hold on, hold on. Just hold on right there.
Hey, Luce, l just wanted to say that, uh,
l´m sorry things didn´t work out with that guy.
And, um, you know, right now...
you should get in touch with the child within, and, um,
explore your feminine side, and, um,
you know, don´t start eatin´ cookies and cake and stuff like that,
because you´ll blow up like my Aunt Roberta, you know.
And-- You deserve better than that.
So--
So, um, how are things goin´ with, uh, Miss Third Floor?
She´s--
Oh, Joey. Joey.
Hmm?
- Do you have any cookies? - No.
You know what? We can try on some of my shoes.
- Okay. - All right.
- Hey. - Hmm?
- Last day, huh? - Yeah, hmph.
- l´m sure gonna miss you. - l´m gonna miss you.
- Oh, we´ll see each other. - You better.
- Of course. - All right? - All right.
- All right. - Bye.
See ya.
Lucy.
l need to ask ya a question.
Get down on your knee. lt´s more romantic.
He´s proposing! Let him do it.
l am letting him do it.
Can l come in there, please?
l can´t.
Not without a token.
He´s doin´ it!
You knew? How´d you know this?
Marry me?
Yeah.
l love you.
l love you back.
Ah, that´s nice.
l´m so happy.
So, l had planned to marry Peter, but l married Jack instead.
Thank goodness my father was right.
Life doesn´t always turn out the way you plan.
But Jack, Jack gave me the perfect gift:
a stamp in my passport.
He took me to Florence for our honeymoon.
l guess you might say he gave me the world.
Peter once asked me when it was that l fell in love with Jack,
and l told him, ´´lt was while you were sleeping.´´
When my world is turnin´
When it´s turnin´ upside down
When all l see is rain
When l think the night won´t end
l just think of you
And l can see the sun again
Ooh, wherever would l be
Without ya
- lf l didn´t have you - lf l didn´t have you
Whatever would l do now, baby
Wherever would l be without ya
- l´d be nowhere - Nowhere
- l´d be nowhere - Nowhere
When the dreams l dream all seem
A million miles away
When l´m sure l´ll never win
When it´s lookin´ like l lost my faith
- l just look at you, baby - Baby
And l got reason to believe again
Ooh, wherever would l be
Without ya
- lf l didn´t have you - Ooh, if l didn´t have you
Whatever would l do now, baby
Wherever would l be without ya
- l´d be nowhere - l´d be nowhere
- l´d be nowhere - Nowhere
Without you
- To love me - To love me
Just be wastin´ time
- Goin´ out of my mind - My mind
Wherever would l be without you
- lf l didn´t have you - lf l didn´t have you
Whatever would l do now, baby
Wherever would l be without you
- l´d be nowhere - Nowhere - l´d be nowhere
- Nowhere - Nowhere - Oh, oh, oh
- Wherever would l be without you - Wherever would l be
- Wherever would l be - Baby
- lf l didn´t have you - lf l didn´t have you
Wherever would l be now, baby
lf l didn´t have you
