做个鼓励的妈妈、老婆

圣经箴言25章11节：“Like apples of gold in settings of silver Is a word spoken in right circumstances." 一 句 話 說 得 合 宜 ， 就 如 金 蘋 果 在 銀 網 子 裡 。

我每周二和教会其他几个姐妹去师母家聚会。最近我们在读"The power of a positive mom" by Karol Ladd. 昨天讨论的这一章就是说要多多鼓励我们的孩子。我节选一些给大家看看：

There is no greater investment we can make in the lives of our children than giving them generous doses of encouraging words. It costs us so little in time and effort, but the rewards are priceless. When our young people are reminded of their God-given value, they receive deposits of confidence, security, and well-being in their emotional bank accounts.

We need to be on the lookout for qualities such as kindness, gentleness, joyfulness, gratitude, self-control, patience -- attributes the Bible calls "fruit of the Spirit". We should notice and encourage these qualities as we see them begin to sprout in our children's words and actions. Unique talents and abilities offer additional opportunities to encourage our kids to reach for their highest potential. We must simply be determined to find these points of praise!

然后还有guidelines
1. be specific . "good job!" 这些都太普通了。But if we truly want to give a special gift to our children, we need to offer them specific compliments. "personalized praise" lets our kids know we're really paying attention.

2. be prepared. 把赞美的话先打打腹稿。

3. be creative. 把赞美写下来，放在便当盒子里，枕头上，背包里，等等。

作者挑战读者坚持21天每天说一些鼓励，正面的话，然后养成一个好习惯。我想到，这次从Sedona回家，在Phoenix机场，我看到一本书，叫“The Husband Project"，也是说用21天每天做一点让老公开心，惊喜的事情。那时候我就想到邀姐妹们一起来动动脑筋想想除了煮好吃的，做卡片，穿性感睡衣，给老公惊喜date，还有什么可以做的呢？

然后，师母就带领我们讨论这章节。有好几个姐妹都说，她们常常称赞自己的孩子，可是不够称赞自己的先生。师母准备了一些卡片，叫我们每个人给家里的一位成员写一些鼓励的话。我觉得自己好像常常赞老公也做卡片给他，也常常赞我家的宝贝们，可是说的大都是“妈妈爱你”这样很generic的话，却从来没有给女儿卡片，于是就写了一个给五岁的老大。

也许是因为女儿是老大，我觉得自己对她的要求比弟弟高，倒不是学业上，是态度和礼貌，这方面，我觉得她因该更懂事。老公一向对两个孩子都比我严厉。

下午女儿回家，我们一起去社区卖girl scouts 饼干。贝贝好棒啊，一点都不怯场，很大方自信呢，很可爱。两姐弟骑着小车在我家门口的这条街一家一家地按门，等人，然后口齿清晰地卖饼干。我站在一旁，阳光暖暖地洒下来，看着他们憨憨的表情，我觉得好奇妙，几乎有点不真实，这两个小人真的是我的孩子呢。。。做妈妈的心下又骄傲又感叹又有些不舍，一恍惚，好像昨天自己还是不懂事的刚刚毕业的大学生，怎么一下子这两个娃娃就这样大了。

到太阳下山，饼干也卖光了，我们回到家，我就给贝贝看她的卡片。她还不是全部都能读，有些字还要我帮忙，但是她好开心啊，小脸整个都发光了！弟弟也吵着要他的卡片，晕！

睡觉前，我陪着贝贝，又给她读了一遍，她就那么幸福满溢地睡着了。

“Dearest Becca, I love you so much. You're beautiful, lovely, and sweet. God made you special, and I am so glad he made you a part of this family. You have the most infectious smile. You bring joy to people all around you. I love how kind and considerate you are towards others. I love how you take care of Lucas. You always want to help mommy bake yummy scones and muffins. You love to share your snacks and toys with your friends. You respect and obey mommy and daddy. You are wonderful. You're a bright spot in my day. You are the sunshine of our family.
love, mommy"