我怎么觉得social这件事是天生的。我有一中学同学随便往哪儿一站不用问他就是中心，而且他兄弟姊妹都这样。她有个妹妹学习经常考不及格，却跟老师的关系很好，这在那个年代是不多见的， 而且她现在也混得不错。不过，我还是宁信其有不信其无。推还是要推的。就算推也只能摸着石头过河，我从来没看到什么标准答案。怎么办？只有从一点一滴小事做起吧。那天一早刚起床，女儿小玉大呼小叫，妈妈妈妈，快来看哪，silk worm hatched. 得，去年最后一拨蚕产的卵没放进冰箱里，小蚕提前出来了。这样吧我说，赶紧把这个盒子放进冰箱。不行妈妈，小蚕会冻死的。那怎么办？桑树还没长叶子，它们不是冻死就是饿死。这样吧，把那个爬满小蚕的茧子留在外面，剩下没出的放到冰箱。妈妈，等下次蚕长大以后我要带到教室给所有的同学摸摸，除了Earl， 他会Squeeze the silk worm and kill it. Earl 在他们班是个麻烦孩子，7 岁了还在Kindergarten, 一天有一半时间是在time out. 我说， 小玉，如果你们班有个同学带了一个好玩的玩具让所有的人玩，除了你，你会不会sad, 然后还会angry? Ok Mom, I will let Earl touch the silk worm ，女儿想了一下后说。 对，你要对待每个人都一样，不管他是不是Popular，这样你就不会伤害别人的feeling, make everybody your friends. 而且我觉得Earl多半不会squeeze the silk worm， 他应该没那么坏吧。 女儿就要选一年级老师了。我和现在家有一年级孩子的一个白人家长咨询过，她给我如数家珍的吧所有的一年级老师特点说了个遍。要说我们小中在与老师的互动方面没什么优势。我就只认识小玉的老师，别的一概不知。她提到 Ms. H 特别注重reading，人也nice。她的几个学生都在什么program 了。她的女儿也说最喜欢Ms. H。 但是这个家长并没有为她的孩子选Ms. H 因为Ms. H每天都要布置２本书带回家读。 too much 她说。你看美国的家长和我们的想法是不一样的。我在公园的play ground 又问了几个２年级３年级的孩子，让他们排名，都是Ms. H第一，说是她nice, 还有上课的时候有movie教学。看到Ms. H在学生中这么popular， 我有点担心选不上，就问女儿怎么办？妈妈，我去找Ms. H， 她的教室就在我们旁边不远。我说，那太好了，明天就去。你怎么知道谁是Ms. H？ 哦，我看见她的名字在她教师的门上，我知道她是谁。女儿听上去信心满满。你去说些什么呢？你怎样说服Ms. H愿意接收你呢？女儿看着我不作声。一个５岁的孩子根本不会想这样的问题。你知道老师喜欢什么样的学生吗？我又问。老师喜欢行为好，学习好，愿意帮忙的学生。 你明天就照着这个去说。把你做完的那本一年级math workbook带上给Ms. H看看，还有，告诉她你是reading star. 第二天放学回来，我问，今天找到Ms. H 吗？ 没有。妈妈， Ｉam too shy to go alone. 你明天跟我一起去好不好。你们学校不是我想去就去，得事先跟Ms. H约时间，而且你现在还不是Ms. H的学生，我多半约不到她的。这件事只有你自己去。过了一天，还是没去，shy. 这样吧我说，你请你的老师Ms. B明天有空的时候带你去， 明天一定哦。没告诉孩子，悄悄的给她的代课老师写了email, 要求她帮个忙（ see email below). 晚上回来， 怎么样，去了吗？ 去了妈妈。我们排队去music class 的路上，路过Ms. H 的门口，Ms. B stopped the line， Ms.H 走到我的面前。 Ms. B 说什么了吗? Yes， she said this is Angelina, she will be a great student for you. Ms.H 说了什么吗？ she asked if I want to be in her class, I said yes Mommy said so. 你给Ms.H 看了你的math work book 了吗？yes I did. 那， Ms. H 看了书高不高兴阿？yes, she give me a hug and said you will be my student. 你确信？把你刚才的话在说一遍？she said you will be my student. 不错，还能问出个一二三， 比我小时候强多了。小孩的话得一句一句的套。下面是我与她老师Ms. B 的email 来回。 英语不好，为了说明我是怎样与老师打交道的，还是copy 过来。我的体会是多与老师交流，只有好处。Dear Ms. B, I received your note about the kindergarten celebration meeting. I will not be able to obtain the meeting at the time, but will support any decisions you and the other parents make. I have been very busy at work and didn't do much contribution for Angelina's class, please let me know anything I could do for the celebration.Angelina was disappointed not getting your praise by showing you the workbook she finished. I said may be Ms. B was busy at the time。 she has many students to take care of. So she said she will try again today:-). She did it just for showing you she could do it: I can see how important you are in her mind. Angelina said the first grade teacher Ms. H's class is near hers and she could walk to Ms. H 's class and ask her if she could obtain her class in the first grade year. But the next day she said she was shy going alone. I wonder by any chance if you could walk her to Ms. H's class ? I know you are busy, this might be too much to ask. Thank you in advance. Hi, Ms. W（我的名字）.Do not worry about not making the meeting for the celebration planning. We do not expect everyone to attend. We only have about 10 parents that can make it each year. I appreciate you!As for Angelina and the math workbook, I did not know she was showing it to me. She said something about stickers in the book. I thought it was just a coloring book she was asking me if she could color in during centers. She never told me she had worked the book! I will definitely say something to her about it today. :)Mrs. H's class is near ours. Angelina is welcome to speak to her in the hall – I will help her, but she is not guaranteed to have a particular teacher next year. Ms. Johnson's just says she will try to give you the teacher that you want. If a class is too full, she will be put another class. Do not worry – I am sure Ms. Johnson will do all she can. :)Laura :)Thank you Ms. B. For a 5 years old, Angelina probably think people automatically know what she think in her mind about the workbook: -)I know Ms. H is very popular since I talked to second and third grade kids in the park play ground, they all like Ms H very much. If Ms. H likes Angelina, may be she could talk to Ms. J（校长）. Angelina likes to read a lot, I think she will fit in Ms. H's class well.It's so nice of you helping Angelina to talk to Ms. H. I asked Angelina to show Ms. H that how well she could read and she will be a good student for Ms H by behave well and study hard. Thank you very much.
