嫦娥不宜“嫁”吴刚 (玩笑,杂文)

想起什么侃什么, 没正文, 一笑了之。
打印 被阅读次数

王同学“皇上”, 工于诗词, 富于浪漫想象, 一次诗中拉郎配, 硬要嫦娥嫁吴刚。老城以为,当代社会物欲横流,性爱大潮汹涌,圣上此举必遭臣民讥笑, 故不惜“冒死一谏”。


上永威王书 -- 嫦娥不宜“嫁”吴刚


臣老城奏疏:


圣上举杯邀月, 诗承太白飘逸神韵;陛下把酒酹江,词传东坡雄浑文风。诚圣上以往词赋皆为传世之作,然今之《双节献辞》以古论今,其间逾千年,早已沧海桑田,恐不合时宜。恕老朽直言,嫦娥醉欲嫁吴刚意虽不凡,却有悖当今之道。自其公之于世,经世父母摇头叹息,新潮儿女嗤之以鼻:

皇上长常年在宫里呆着,根本不知道外边眼下谈婚论嫁(价)的行情。这嫦娥是谁?曾经飞天,是天下第一空姐;吴刚又算老几,一个砍柴的,就算他有砍不完的桂树,总有活儿干, 最多是个有稳定收入的民工。空姐嫁民工?您老别逗了。哪家姑娘当空姐不是为了钓个个金龟婿。不是银行中有存款证明的大款,也得是组织部里榜上有名上的公仆啊。

都说自古英雄爱美女,可美女爱不爱英雄就难讲了。要说那后羿,拈弓搭箭射下太阳,可算得上天下第一大英雄了吧?管啥用,沒钱,老婆还是跑了。嫦娥姐很实际,把英武的后羿都瞪了,绝不会因为吴刚天天干活,练就一身疙瘩肉就嫁给他。就是喝高了也不会,我才不信哪。一夜情倒是满有可能。

 以上虽为小民街头巷尾之议,然不无道理。依微臣之见,圣上既怜月中孤男寡女之清寂,有心撮合二人,宜从时代潮流,将易为 

吾皇毋须担忧用词“粗俗”。“粗”又何妨?如今已昂首登堂于各主流媒体。国人亦弃前朝委婉巫山云雨,拾流行直白车震嘿咻。与当下诸“荤”词相比,“睡”复为几何?,阳春一碗而已。

“俗”又何妨?昔宋才子柳永,因其词好用市井语言,描写百姓生活,虽为些许文人墨客,公卿大夫所不齿,却为举国民众所喜爱。柳词不仅届时广为吟诵,且世代相传至今。

故微臣以为,以今激情燃烧之国度,若将改为,则既生动传神,复顺乎民意。再令乐工配以妙曲,三日便传唱及疆,且可为后世千秋之经典曲目。乞陛下唯万民之愿为重,挥毫易字。

已尽区区,惟陛下垂听焉。

老城

永威五十年十月十-
西夷米国蛮荒之印地安那


 *去年发给老同学的旧文。


登录后才可评论.
Logo

Looks like your ad blocker is on.

×

We rely on ads to keep creating quality content for you to enjoy for free.

Please support our site by disabling your ad blocker.

Continue without supporting us

Choose your Ad Blocker

  • Adblock Plus
  • Adblock
  • Adguard
  • Ad Remover
  • Brave
  • Ghostery
  • uBlock Origin
  • uBlock
  • UltraBlock
  • Other
  1. In the extension bar, click the AdBlock Plus icon
  2. Click the large blue toggle for this website
  3. Click refresh
  1. In the extension bar, click the AdBlock icon
  2. Under "Pause on this site" click "Always"
  1. In the extension bar, click on the Adguard icon
  2. Click on the large green toggle for this website
  1. In the extension bar, click on the Ad Remover icon
  2. Click "Disable on This Website"
  1. In the extension bar, click on the orange lion icon
  2. Click the toggle on the top right, shifting from "Up" to "Down"
  1. In the extension bar, click on the Ghostery icon
  2. Click the "Anti-Tracking" shield so it says "Off"
  3. Click the "Ad-Blocking" stop sign so it says "Off"
  4. Refresh the page
  1. In the extension bar, click on the uBlock Origin icon
  2. Click on the big, blue power button
  3. Refresh the page
  1. In the extension bar, click on the uBlock icon
  2. Click on the big, blue power button
  3. Refresh the page
  1. In the extension bar, click on the UltraBlock icon
  2. Check the "Disable UltraBlock" checkbox
  1. Please disable your Ad Blocker
  2. Disable any DNS blocking tools such as AdGuardDNS or NextDNS

If the prompt is still appearing, please disable any tools or services you are using that block internet ads (e.g. DNS Servers).

Logo