1 Churchill and Bernard Shaw丘吉尔和肖伯纳
Winston Churchill was Prime Minister of Great Britain during World War II. He was a fat and short man. George Bernard Shaw was a famous writer. He was tall and lean. Both of them were humorists.
When they met at a reception, Churchill said to Shaw with a smile, “Mr. Shaw, when people see you, they must think there is a famine in our country.”“Yes,” said Bernard Shaw, “but they must think you are responsible for it.”
丘吉尔是二战期间英国的首相，他是个又矮又胖的男人。肖伯纳是著名作家，又高又瘦。他们俩都是幽默诙谐的人。
他们在一个招待会上碰面了。丘吉尔微笑着对肖伯纳说：“肖伯纳先生，人们看到您，一定以为我们国家正在闹饥荒。”“对，”肖伯纳回答：“但他们一定认为这是您造成的。”
2 An Abstract Noun抽象名词
Teacher: What's an abstract noun, Jane?
Jane: I don't know, madam.
Teacher: What, you don't know! Well. It's the name of a thing which you can think of but cannot touch. Now, give me an example.
Jane: A red-hot poker, madam.
老师：简，什么是抽象名词？
简：我不知道，老师。
老师：什么，你不知道！抽象名词就是你想象得到但触摸不到的东西。现在，你给我举个例子。
简：老师，比如说一根炙热的拨火棍。
3 It depends看情况
Traveler: Can I catch the three o'clock train to Toronto?
Ticket agent: That depends on how fast you can run. It left fifteen minutes ago.
旅行者：我还能赶上3点钟那班到多伦多的火车吗？
售票员：那得看你跑得有多快。火车15分钟前开出。
4 Father’s Clothes父亲的东西
When Tom Howard was seventeen years old he was as tall as his father，so he began to borrow Mr. Howard's clothes when he wanted to go out with his friends in the evening.
Mr. Howard did not like this， and he always got very angry when he found his son wearing any of his things.
One evening when Tom came downstairs to go out， his father stopped him in the hall. He looked at Tom's clothes very carefully.
Then he said angrily，“Isn't that one of my ties，Tom？”
“Yes，Father，it is，”answered Tom.
“And that shirt's mine too，Tom？”
“Yes，that's yours too，”answered Tom.
“And you're wearing my belt！” said Mr. Howard.
“Yes， I am， Father，”answered Tom.“You don't want your trousers to fall down， do you？”
汤姆·霍华德17岁的时候，长得和他父亲一般高了，于是当他想和朋友晚上一起出去时，就开始借穿起霍华德先生的衣服来。
霍华德先生可不喜欢这样，所以，当他发现儿子穿了他的什么衣服时，就总是十分恼火。
一天晚上，正当汤姆走下楼来要出去时，父亲在门厅里拦住了他。他细细地打量着汤姆身上的穿着。
然后他气呼呼地说：“汤姆，那不是我的一条领带吗？”
汤姆回答说：“是的，父亲，是你的领带。”
他的父亲又继续问：“还有那衬衫也是我的，对吧？”
汤姆回答说：“是的，那也是你的。”
霍华德先生说：“还有，你连皮带也是用我的！”
汤姆回答说：“是呀，父亲。你总不希望让你的裤子掉下来吧，是吗？”
5 Stunning Reply出色的回答
My five-year-old son was not picking up his toys while I was preparing dinner as I had asked him. When I inquired why he wasn't doing his chores, he said that he didn't feel like it. Exasperated, I said, “Where would you be right now if I didn't feel like making dinner?”
He thought for a moment and then replied, “A restaurant?”
我在准备晚饭的时候，我叫年仅五岁的儿子把玩具都收拾起来。当我问他为什么没做他的差事时，他说他不想做。我感到有些恼火，就对他说：“要是我说我不想做晚饭，这时你会在哪里呢？”
他略加思索便回答说：“在饭店里？”
6 Long Life长生不老
A man was selling medicines at a fair. At first he sold bottles of a cure for colds for just a dollar a bottle.
Many people wanted to buy it and the man's young assistant moved quickly through the crowd collecting money and handing out bottles of the cold cure.
Then, when he had a big crowd, the man held up a very small bottle.
“And now, ladies and gentlemen, ” he shouted. “here is the medicine you have been waiting for. The cure for old age. Drink just one bottle of this and you will live forever.”
“And, ladies and gentlemen,” the man continued, “I'm not going to charge you a hundred dollars a bottle for this wonderful medicine. I'm not going to charge you fifty dollars a bottle. I'm not going to charge you twenty five dollars a bottle. No, ladies and gentlemen, I'm going to charge you just ten dollars a bottle. Think, my friends, for ten dollars you can live forever.”
Most of the people in the crowd did not believe this.
One person shouted, “if it will make you live forever, why don't you drink it?”
Then another person cried, “Yes, you look as if you're at least sixty years old.”
“Thank you, sir, thank you,” the man replied, “I'm so glad you said that. My real age is three hundred and twenty nine. ”
The crowd laughed at this but there were still a few people who wanted to believe the man. One of them spoke to the man's assistant as she passed by. “Is that true,” he asked, “that he's three hundred and twenty-nine?”
“Don't ask me,” the assistant said, “I've only worked for him for a hundred and fifty years.”
一人在集市卖药。起先他卖一美元一瓶的治感冒的药。
很多人想买药，那人的年轻助手迅速穿行于人群中，一边收钱，一边递药。
然后当围观的人多起来时，那人举起一个小瓶子。
“听着，女士们，先生们，”那人喊道，“这就是你们一直想要的药。
消除衰老的药。只吃一瓶，就会长生不老。”
“女士们，先生们，”那人接着说道，“对这种神奇的药，我不打算卖一瓶100美元。我不打算卖一瓶50美元，我也不打算卖一瓶25美元。我只打算卖一瓶10美元。想想吧，朋友们，只花10美元，你们就能长生不老。”
人群中大多数人不相信他的话。
一人喊道：“如果这药能使人长生不老，你为什么不吃？”
接着另一人叫道：“是哇，你看上去至少60岁。”
“谢谢，先生，谢谢，”那人回答，“我很高兴你这么说。我的实际年龄是329岁。”
听到他的话，人群中发出一阵笑声，但仍有几个人愿意相信他的话。其中一人当那个助手经过时问她，“他已329岁了，这是真的吗？”他问。
“别问我，”助手说，“我只为他工作了150年。”
