1 入室盗窃者 A burglar
A man went to the police office wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before.
"You will get your chance in court." said the Desk Sergeant.
"No, no, no." said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years."
一个人来到警察局希望跟前一天晚上闯入他家的盗贼说话。
“你在法庭上会有机会的。”服务台的警长说。
“不，不，不。”那人说。“我想知道他是怎么进了屋子却没惊醒我的妻子。我一直试了多年了。”
2 还有一个馅饼 One more pie
The old lady was delighted with the gift the boy had brought to her.
"I'll see your mother tomorrow," she said, "And I'll thank her for this lovely pie."
"Um, if you don't mind," the boy said nervously, "could you thank her for two pies?"
老太太很高兴男孩带给她的礼物。
“明天我会去看你妈的，”她说，“我会谢谢她做的这个可爱的馅饼。”
“嗯，如果你不介意，”男孩紧张地说，“你可以谢谢她的两个馅饼吗？”
3 会计师 An Accountant
An accountant is having a hard time sleeping and goes to see his doctor.
"Doctor, I just can't get to sleep at night."
"Have you tried counting sheep?"
"That's the problem. I make a mistake and spend three hours trying to find it."
一位会计师很难入睡，就去看他的医生。
“医生，我在晚上睡不着觉。”
“你有没有试过数羊？”
“这就是我的麻烦。我数错了，就会花上三小时找到错在哪儿了。”
4 这是我的座位 This is my seat
It was a woman's first time on a plane. She boarded the plane and found herself a window seat.
After she settled in, a man came over and insisted that she was in his seat. She ignored him and told him to go away.
"Okay," replied the man. "If that's the way you want it, you fly the plane."
这是一个女人的第一次乘坐飞机。她登上了飞机，给自己找了一个靠窗的座位。
她坐定后，一名男子走了过来，并坚持认定她是在他的座位上。她不理他，叫他走开。
“好吧，”那人回答。“如果这是你想要的，你来开飞机吧。”
5 这孩子可以待在这里 The Child May Stay
One afternoon while I was talking to a professor, my two-year-old daughter, Lily wandered into a nearby classroom. There was a math class in progress and，to my dismay，Lily sat down in the front row.
When I went in to get her, the instructor stopped me. "Young lady，”he said，“I have been teaching calculus at this college for over 20 years. In that time，not once has anyone come to my class just he or she wanted to. The child may stay.”
一天下午，当我和一位教授谈话时，我两岁的女儿莉莉走进了旁边的一间教室。教室正在上数学课，使我惊愕的是，莉莉进去在第一排坐下了。
当我进去想把她弄出来时，讲课的教师拦住了我。“夫人，”他说，“我在这所大学里教微积分已经二十几年了。在这段时间里从没有人自愿来听我的课。让孩子待在这吧。”
6 服从命令 To Obey Orders
My husband's first coaching experience was with a junior-high school basketball team. During a game，he sent in one of the youngest boys and gave him strict instructions. "You go after number twenty-one，Tony.”He said，"And follow him wherever he goes. Don't let him get away from you!”
A few minutes later my husband saw only four of his players on the court. There was Tony guarding 21，who had been lifted from the game and was sitting on the bench.
我丈夫第一次当教练是教一个初中的篮球队。在一次比赛中，他让一个年纪最小的男孩上场并向他做了最严格的指令。“托尼，你紧跟着21号。”他说，“无论他走到哪里都盯着他不放。别让他甩了你。”
几分钟后，我丈夫发现场上只有他的四个队员了。托尼正站在被换下的坐在板凳上的21号队员旁边。
（from Internet)
（from Internet)
