1 丈夫的休息日 The Day off from Work
My husband was enjoying the day off from work and watched me scurry about the house. I picked up his dirty clothes, put away his work shoes, carried out his popcorn bowl from the previous night's football viewing, washed the breakfast dishes, wiped the coffee he'd spilled and ironed his shirts. Seeing a thoughtful look on his lace, I wondered if he was beginning to realize just how much unnecessary work he created for me. Maybe he would offer to help. "A penny for your thoughts," I said.
"I was thinking," he replied, "that one of the things I like best about you is how you always find ways to keep yourself busy."
丈夫正在过休息日,他看着我在屋子里来回奔忙。我捡起他在脏衣服,将他工作时穿的鞋子放到一边,拿走前一天晚上他看橄榄球时放在旁边放爆米花的碗,洗早餐的盘子,擦去他溅出的咖啡,熨他的衬衣。看到他脸上若有所思的神情,我想他是不是开始意识到他给我添了许多不必要的麻烦,也许他还会帮帮忙呢!“给你一分钱,告诉我你在想什么?”
“我在想,”他回答道,“你总能找到办法使自己忙个不停。这一点我很喜欢。”
2 翅膀 Wings
The fried-chicken restaurant where I was working had a big rush just before closing one day, leaving us with nothing to sell but wings. As I was about to lock the doors, a quietly intoxicated customer came in and ordered dinner. When I asked if wings would be all right, he leaned over the counter and replied, "Lady, I came in here to eat, not fly."
一天,我工作的炸鸡店在关门前出现了一阵抢购狂潮,结果除了鸡翅外所有的东西都卖完了。当我正准备锁门时,一名喝醉了的旅客进来要进餐。我问他翅膀行不行,他从柜台上靠过身子来,回答道:“女士,我到这儿来是吃东西的,不是要飞!”
3 太有礼貌 Too Polite
A woman who frequented a small antique shop rarely purchase anything, but always found fault with the merchandise and prices. The manager and her salesclerk took the woman's grumpy complaints in stride, but one day she went too far. "Why is it I never manage to get what I ask for in your shop?" demanded the woman.
A smile on her face, the clerk calmly replied, "Perhaps it's because we're too polite."
一名妇女经常光顾一家小古董店,但几乎从不买什么东西,却总是对商品和价格吹毛求疵。对于那妇女的粗暴抱怨,经理和她的销售员总是应付了事,但是有一天她做得太过分了。“为什么你们店里总是不能得到我想要的东西?”那名妇女指责说。
职员脸上带着微笑,沉着地回答道:“也许是因为我们太有礼貌了。”
4 绝配 Perfect Match
A wealthy matron is so proud of a valuable antique vase that she decides to have her bedroom painted the same color as the vase. Several painters try to match the shade, but none comes close enough to satisfy the eccentric woman.
Eventually, a painter approaches who is confident he can mix the proper color. The woman is pleased with the result, and the painter becomes famous.
Years later, he retires and turns the business over to his son. "Dad," says the son, "there's something I've got to know. How did you get those walls to match the vase so perfectly?"
"Son," the father replies, "I painted the vase."
一位富婆为拥有一只珍贵的古玩而深感骄傲,以至于她竟要把卧室漆成与花瓶同样的颜色。几名油漆匠试图调出这个底色,但是谁也没有能令那位怪癖的妇女满意。
最后来了位油漆匠。他非常自信能调出那种颜色。那妇女对他的成果非常满意,油漆匠于是一举成名。
多年以后,他退休了,生意也交给儿子。“爸,”儿子说,“有件事我得弄清楚,您是怎样使墙的颜色与花瓶配得那么绝的?”
“儿子,”父亲回答说,“我漆了花瓶。”
5 催单 Reminder
In the veterinary office where I'm a technician, we mail out reminders when pets are due for vaccinations. Bruno, a German shepherd, arrived for his annual rabies shot, and we were required by state law to ask his owner if Bruno had bitten anyone in the last ten days. "Oh yes, in fact that's why we're here," she replied. Surprised, I told her we assumed they'd come in because of our reminder.
"We did," she explained. "Bruno bit the mail carrier who was delivering your card."
我是一家兽医站的技师。当动物到了该注射疫苗的时候,我们就寄出催单。一条德国物质牧羊犬布鲁诺来做每年一次的狂犬疫苗注射。我们依照州法律的要求询问他的主人,在过去的十天里布鲁诺是否咬了什么人。“噢,是的。事实上这正是我们到这儿来的原因,”她回答说。我觉得奇怪,告诉她我们以为他们是因为收到了我们的催单才来的。
“的确如此,”她解释道。“布鲁诺咬了送你们催单的邮递员。”
6 照相机 Camera
On our way to a wedding in Vermont, my husband and I realized we had forgotten our camera. We stopped at a general store and, hoping to purchase a cheap, disposable model. Sal asked the owner, "Do you have any of those throwaway cameras?"
"Look, fella," replied the owner, "I don't care what you do with it after you buy it."
在前往威蒙特参加一个婚礼的路上,我和丈夫意识到我们忘了带照相机。我们在一家百货商店门前停了下来,希望能够买到一种便宜的,一次性照相机。萨尔问店主:“你们有那种用了就扔的照相机吗?”
“我说,小伙子,”店主回答说,“我可不管你买了之后怎么处理它。”
(from internet)
