1 理智的交谈 A Cerebra Conversation
A Sri一Lankian professor went to London on his sabbatical. After three months he was tired of English food and went to a butcher shop to buy something to allay his homesickness.
“Have you brain?”he asked the butcher.
The butcher stared at him for a minute then said，“If I had any，do you think I'd be working here?”
一位斯里兰卡教授到伦敦去修教学假。三个月以后他吃厌了英国的饭菜，就到肉铺去买点东西来减轻他的思乡之情。
“你有脑子吗?”他问卖肉的。
卖肉的愣愣地看着他，半晌才说:“如果我有脑子，你想我还会在这儿干吗?”
2 相反的例子 An Opposite Example
An aesthetics professor’s grandson asked his grandfather，"grandpa，why did you say that all the false are ugly?”
"That is certainly true. Couldn't you give me an opposite example?”
“Oh，yes,"the grandson，climbing in his grandfather’s knee，said proudly，“Looking at yourself，when you put on your false teeth，you look younger and lively; when you get off them,you mouth looks empty and shriveled, which is really ugly Isn’t it an opposite example?”
The professor could find no answer.
美学教授的孙子问他爷爷:“爷爷，为什么您说，一切假的都是丑的?”
“那当然了!难道你还能举出相反的例子来?”
“能!”孙子爬上爷爷的膝头，得意地说:“您瞧您自己一装上假牙后又年轻又精神，拿掉假牙，嘴巴又空又瘪，那才丑呢!这不是相反的例子吗?”
教授无言以对。
3 他的足球能出来玩玩吗 Can His Football Come To Play
A little boy knocked on the door of his classmate's house.When his classmate's mother answered，he said，
"Can Julian come out to play，please?”
“No，I am afraid not.”said Julian’s mother，"It is too wet.”
"Well，then，”asked the lad，"can his football come to play?”
小男孩在敲他同学家的门。他同学的妈妈来开门。他说:“朱利安能出来玩玩吗?”
“不能，我恐怕不行。”朱利安的妈妈说，“外面太湿了。”
“那么，”小男孩又问，“他的足球能出来玩吗?”
4 一个感人的告别 A Touching Farewell
Two old friends were out golfing. As they were'preparing to tee off near a road, a funeral cortege drove by and one of the two friends took off his hat and held it over his heart until the line of cars had passed. "Well, that was good manners on your part," said his partner. "Oh, it was the least I could do. After all we would have been married thirty years next Tuesday. "
两个老朋友出外打高尔夫球，当他们在一处路旁准备开球时，一列出殡送葬车队恰巧经过那里，其中一位朋友脱去帽子放在胸前，直到车队通过后才戴上帽子。“你这样做实在很有礼貌，”他的同伴说道。“喔，那只不过是我最起码所能做的事了。毕竟，到下星期二我们结婚就满三十年了。”
5 六个月之后 In Six Months
A school leaver was being interviewed for a job as an office boy.
"You will get five pounds a week to start off with,”said the boss，"And then after six months you will get ten pounds a week.”
"Right，"said the lad.“I will come back in six months.”
一个中途辍学的孩子想当办公室勤务员，正在接受面试。
“刚开始每周只给你五英镑，”老板说，“半年以后每周增加到十英镑。”
“好，”那男孩说，“那么我六个月以后再来上班。”
6 免惊啦！No Worries
At the swimming pool one day, a child asked his mother,
"Mommy, Mommy, can I go swimming?"
"Certainly not, darling. The water's much too deep. "
"But Daddy's swimming, Mommy."
"Your daddy's insured, sweetheart."
在游泳池旁，一个小孩问他妈妈，
“妈咪，妈咪，我可不可以下去游泳？”
“亲爱的，当然不可以，水太深了。”
“可是爸爸不是在游泳吗？妈咪！”
“你爸爸有保险啊，甜心。”
(from internet)
