Hurry destroys marriage - I suddenly realized. Wait, is it only me? I's curious to google to see if I'm the only one? Nay - someone else did that ! A lot! all well said. It's a bit late, but better to know late than never. Don't you think so?
Be a student of your spouse. » Lace and Loyalty
Mar 21, 2016 - How many times have you heard the saying to always be a student of your spouse? We thought that would be a great challenge this Monday, ...
http://www.laceandloyalty.com/marriage/be-a-student-of-your-spouse/
Be a student of your spouse.
How many times have you heard the saying to always be a student of your spouse? We thought that would be a great challenge this Monday, because even though it sounds simple, we think it can actually be quote challenging.
I know my spouse…. but do I really KNOW my spouse? We are both constantly changing, the demands on us are constantly changing. So it’s not enough to just study my spouse once every few years, but I should always be studying my spouse.
And, if I do, I’ll know ways to meet the needs or desires of my husband from day to day or week to week, because it might not always look the same. I want to know what communicates love and/or respect to him at any given time.
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I want to know everything about my spouse as I can. When I stop being a student of my man, I lose interest in who he is as a person, what he values, cares about, stresses about, wants to do… and I just don’t want to walk down that road..jpg)
So what are some ways that I can be a better student of my man?
1. Slow down! Our culture is crazy busy. But if I’m running around from one thing to another I’m VERY likely to miss so many telling things about my husband. I’ll get everything surface level, but won’t be tuned into what’s really going on. How is he really doing? What is he stressed about? What could I do to encourage him? Could I alleviate any stress in the current situation? Does he need to get out and do something for himself?
2. Ask Questions.
My man isn’t quick to verbalize how he is feeling, and so often I have to ask. Since men are so compartmental they sometimes need a little prodding, or prompting to chat about what is really going on. And, asking questions is great because things change… so I might be assuming something based on a previous conversation way back when… but it just might not be the case anymore. So ask. Men are unlikely to just start dishing feelings and info.
3. Don’t assume. This goes back to asking questions!We can assume a lot of things. Good or bad. And….assuming can get us in trouble or just have us on the wrong track about something. So much better to remember that we are on the same team, and get to the heart of the matter. I’ve made so, so, so many wrong assumptions about what my husband has said or done. If I don’t assume (because I’m usually wrong) and keep in the forefront of my mind that he’s a good guy and probably didn’t mean it the way it seemed to come across, things turn out much much better. He often has my best interest in mind even if it doesn’t seem that way.
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So take some time this week to study your spouse. Slow down, be present and ask questions, so you can love him (or her) well!
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7 Ways to Help Increase Your Spouse’s Self-Esteem
There are things every guy can do to help the self-esteem of the woman they love.
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I remember fondly when my wife first started telling me I was her hero. It was because I captured a mouse that had terrified her and ran into a closet of our house, so I came to her rescue.
| Words framed in love by your loving spouse encourage the heart. |
On many other occasions she has declared to our grown children or one of our friends, “Jerry was my hero again!” She relates how I courageously conquered a spider or put something back together for her or harnessed her computer to act right. Of course, I like being her hero! It is invigorating to receive authentic praise from my best friend, my wife.
Words framed in love by your loving spouse encourage the heart. Thoughtful words carved out for your spouse can make their day. It brings true joy to have them tell how much they love you.
We all need cheerleaders in our corner. When Elaine offers her gentle thoughts to my hectic day, I feel refreshed. So how can you help your life-mate to enjoy a better day or week?
♦◊♦
Follow these seven helpful hints to help improve your sweetie’s life.
1. Plant positive words in their heart and mind.
Very early on in our marriage, I realized that my wife felt less than beautiful in her mind. I made it my duty to tell her often that I see her as a beautiful woman. Every chance I get, I also share that thought with people about Elaine. For me, it is effortless to compliment her appearance.
Affirmative words do make a difference. Your spouse has joined to you in body and spirit. Your encouraging words have the power to heal desperate situations or calm a troubled situation. Your life-mate needs your thought-filled praise. Everyone loves to be praised and your mate is no exception.
Work on constructing positive thoughts before trouble strikes and be there with healing kindness to soothe the mayhem afterwards. Praise means to “give value” to someone therefore, give sincere value to him or her. Whatever you plant will grow so why not sow seeds of thoughtfulness?
2. Give them the freedom to fail when life knocks them down.
My wife is my greatest fan. She tells me frequently I can accomplish what I set out to achieve. When I wrote my book, she cheered me on during the tough times when it seemed to go so slowly. Her thoughtful words made me want to finish, no matter what obstacles popped up.
In your marriage imagine that you two are similar to a pair of suspenders. You know, each side supports the pants even if one side becomes disconnected or loses their grip. That’s how your relationship can work. One person picks up the other partner.
You and your spouse are like suspenders. Of course I fail but having Elaine care enough to stay nearby emotionally and physically is special. When I see Elaine becoming frustrated by something, I reassure her about a situation earlier where she conquered a similar circumstance. Thoughtful encouragement is therapeutic to the soul.
3. Seek to please your spouse how they want to be pleasured.
For me, it is a blast to make her day go better. When I focus on pleasing her, it communicates significance to her heart. Sometimes I will ask her how I can make her day a bit easier.
If you are not sure what your sweetie considers pleasurable, just ask this simple question, “Over this next week, what are three actions I can do, which would really please you?”
As you listen to their response, zone in on the actions they share as well as the variety or the similarities mentioned. You can add to the list during the next week as a good student of your spouse to bring them quality pleasure.
4. Spend time reflectively and create a list of their best qualities.
Once you have this list, attach a specific story or memory to each one. On our refrigerator, I made a few flyers for Elaine and posted them. One sheet contains twenty-five qualities I appreciate concerning Elaine.
You could start a list of four or five ideas and add to often. Watch the reaction as you add a thought here and there about your precious spouse. When I started my list, she would take special notice as I wrote some more about her every few days to see what I would include on her special list.
5. Practice public praise about their good qualities.
I was bragging about my wife just the other day. She is such a kind person. A lady who Elaine is mentoring called and Elaine was so loving to this person. I know it must have made their day.
This was an excellent opportunity to tell some of our friends how Elaine handled this person’s dilemmas and comforted her. As I spoke of her wisdom, my friends nodded their recognition of Elaine’s thoughtful heart. It means a lot to see friends recognize your mates fine attributes
Become an active student of your spouse and develop those opportunities to share their good traits with others. Each day can bring new insights as you enjoy life together where it becomes easy to tell friends about your spouse’s graces.
6. Balance life to keep it manageable for your relationship.
I get that life should be more pleasurable but doesn’t it seem we cram so much into each day? It is very special when your spouse carves out time from their schedule to be with you. So why not set aside time just for them?
My wife enjoys soaking in those whirlpool tubs with all the bubbles and foam. We don’t have one, so it is extravagant for her to luxuriate in one. A few weeks back, I told her to leave a certain two days open on her calendar. I made the arrangements and we traveled just 35 miles from home to stay in a hotel overnight. Of course, I sprang for the room with the fancy tub. She almost turned into a prune she was so wrinkled, but she loved the entire experience.
We spent the time while she soaked chatting about our marriage and some of our upcoming seminars. It helps us to make the time every now and then devoted expressly to our marriage
You might look over your schedule and find creative activities to show your sweetie you value their closeness. Perhaps even initiate special date nights or loving days of a time away together just for him or her.
7. Accept your spouse unconditionally.
I don’t understand my wife sometimes. The other day she told me she sees me as a precious gift in her life. You can see why I love her so much, right? I know her better than anyone else in this world and she also gets more precious each day.
| They said to shut out the world and treasure each other. |
We took our marriage vows to heart. They said to shut out the world and treasure each other as more important than our self. Of course there has been highs and lows but the exciting part is that we make our life more about the highs and overlook the low spots.
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Life is a blast being married to my wife. Elaine is the special person with whom I love spending my life.
How can you invest yourself into your spouse’s happiness for their best interest? Consider these seven traits as a way to indulge your spouse, so you increase his or her happiness and multiply your precious memories.
As the commercial used to say, “Try it–you’ll like it!” Each day is special, so please invest yourself to making every “today” better than any “yesterday” with your best friend.
Who knows maybe you will become, her hero or his queen, for the rest of your lives together?
- See more at: http://goodmenproject.com/featured-content/7-ways-to-help-increase-your-spouses-self-esteem-kcon/#sthash.MMK3O76a.dpuf
