《旧约创世纪东北话版》创世纪3

幸运地生活在这个大变迁的时代,见证历史的每一个巨变,不虚此生。
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And the LORD GOD called unto Adam, and said unto him, where art thou? And he said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.
完了上帝开始招唤亚当,完了跟他说:『你搁哪嘎哒捏?』完了亚当说:『我听着你在园子里的动静了,完我光不出溜儿地,还不快溜儿地找个地儿眯着,还敢吱声儿?』
And he said, who told thee that thou wast naked? Hast thou eaten of the tree, whereof I commanded thee that thou shouldest not eat?
上帝说:『谁告哄你光个大膀子的?内树我不让你吃,你是不给造了?』
And the man said, the woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. And the LORD GOD said unto the woman, what is this that thou hast done?
完了亚当说:『就你给我整的内败家老娘们儿呗,她给我整的,完了我就吃了。』完了上帝找着内老娘们说:『你跟我整事儿哪?』
And the woman said, the serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. And the LORD GOD said unto the serpent, because thou hast done this, thou art cursed above all cattle, and above every beast of the field; upon thy belly shalt thou go, and dust shalt thou eat all the days of thy life. And I will put enmity between thee and the woman; between thy seed and her seed; and it shall bruise thy head, and thou shalt bruise his heel.
完了内老娘们说:『诶妈这事儿可不赖我,内大长虫他勾搭我干的。完了我也不跟你扒瞎,我还真吃了。』完了上帝就跟那长虫说:『你说好事儿咋就找不着你呢?咱也少废话,以后家禽界、畜牲界你都别混了,你以后就搞肚脐眼走道儿啊,光吃土就吃噎了,行不?完了你跟内老娘们也好不了,见天撕逼,撕完这辈儿撕下辈儿,她挠你满脸花,你就啃她脚后跟,我看这事儿行。』
Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow shalt thou bring forth children, and thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.
完了回头又跟内老娘们说:『我就让你生孩子疼,疼完了你还些罕你老爷们,些罕完了再疼,疼完了他还削你。』
And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying thou shalt not eat of it; cursed is the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat of it all the days of thy life; Thorns also thistles shall it bring forth to thee; and thou shalt eat the herb of the field. In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return to the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou art, and unto dust shalt thou return.
完了他跟亚当说:『你说你耳朵根子咋就嫩远捏?让你造你就造啊?我不告哄你不行吃么?好日子过够了哈?以后你不整自己个儿一身臭汗你窝头都甭吃,地里长内玩意净是拉手的,你以后搁地里慢慢玩儿啊,玩儿到你咽气儿,尘归尘土归土。』
And Adam called his wife's name Eve; because she was the mother of all living. Unto Adam also and to his wife did the LORD GOD make coats of skins, and clothed them. And the LORD GOD said, Behold, the man is become as one of us, to know good and evil; and now, lest he put forth his hand, and have the tree of life, and eat, and live for ever.
完了亚当就管他媳妇叫一屋,因为这一屋人基本都是她生的。上帝害行,也没让这公母俩净身出户,一人还给整了一身儿衣服。完了有的上帝说:『你瞅瞅,这老爷们都知道好赖了,要是再厉害点儿,把生命树再给造了,那不得活一万年?』
Therefore the LORD GOD sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken. So he drove out the man; and he placed at the east of the garden of Eden Cherubims, and a flaming sword which turned every way, to keep the way of the tree of life.
上帝角着这话有道理,就让亚当从伊甸园滚犊子去修理地球了。完了又搁伊甸园的大门儿那放了一把镇邪宝剑,还能嗤嗤冒火,老邪虎了,就不让你吃生命树,咋地吧?
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