每当想到我的小宝贝儿时，脑海里就是那张帅气真诚温暖含蓄快乐的笑脸，这会触动妈妈心里最柔软的部分，让整个心都化了，脸上会不自觉地漾起幸福的微笑。
妈妈历来自诩是个公平的母亲，对两个儿子的爱是相同的，对任何一个都不多一分，也不少一分。哥哥二十岁的时候妈妈写了一篇中英双语的文章外加一个视频送给哥哥作为生日礼物，对我小儿子当然也要一视同仁喽。
妈妈对自己胡编乱写能力的自信以及严重的拖延症造成迟迟没有动笔。几次歪歪扭扭，别别扭扭开了个头儿都不满意。直到离小宝贝儿生日还有两周时，妈妈慌了：难道我黔驴技穷啦？我怎么写不出东西来了？看了给哥哥写的：那感情之真挚，笔触之温馨，文字之优美更让妈妈汗颜，怎么办呢？本想给自己找个借口说21岁才是大生日好拖一年，但是没能说服自己，因为那样不公平。不是别的任何原因，只是因为你太好，太完美，妈妈无从下笔。看了哥哥的视频倒是给了妈妈一个启示：我还是从照片开始下手吧。
照片我看了整整两个晚上，但只是我们所有照片的冰山一角，我一张张细细地看，回味着当时那一幕幕的温馨，那都是多美好的时刻呀？你和哥哥的笑容都是那么灿烂，那么无忧无虑，那么阳光帅气。妈妈的眼眶慢慢湿润，照片勾起的回忆把这20年慢慢拼在一起，一点点儿变得越来越清晰，一下子就回到了你出生的一刻。
你一生下来就是个漂亮的小婴儿，脸型清俊，鼻子高挺，只是比哥哥出生时小了两磅多（当然哥哥是个大婴孩），看着小的让妈妈心疼。出生时因为妈妈发烧，奶水不够，你不管吃没吃饱都安安静静地呆着，最多哼唧几声，从来不大哭大闹，现在想起来你那时省心得让人心痛，到现在妈妈都会感到愧疚和不忍。
一点点长大了，有个在你刚出生时嫌你丑但是爱你而且善良耐心好脾气的好哥哥真是你的福气。哥哥会坐在床上，把你的头放在他的腿上，帮着妈妈拍着你哄你，逗着你玩儿。
再大一点儿，你那活波快乐的天性就显示出来，房间里都是你银铃般（妈妈经常说是鸭子般）的笑声，那从心里往外的快乐都在那笑声里，充满整个房间，从窗户从门缝儿溢了出去，把周围所有人都感染了，都知道我们家有个又好看又快乐的小天使。
你早早学会了说话，声调又高又好听，吐字清晰得犹如大珠小珠落玉盘，好一个小百灵鸟，伴着的是伶牙俐齿。两岁多就敢挑衅哥哥，哥哥虽然很聪明，但是安静话不多，根本不可能吵得过你。通常哥哥都不理你，惹急了就一巴掌。五岁的孩子哪里有轻重呀。尤其哥哥生下来就九磅四，一直人高马大，又比你大三岁，所以会时不时听到你嚎啕大哭着来告状。妈妈问你为什么哥哥不打别人打你时，你这个小机灵鬼儿会选择逃避问题而一味地哭着试图引起同情怜悯，嘴里只不停重复说哥哥mean。后来发现妈妈只会跟哥哥讲道理打人不对和让着弟弟，但并不会惩罚哥哥之后，你也学乖了：尽量少挑衅哥哥；或者有大人在场的时候快速挑衅快速躲到大人身后。
又长大点儿运动天分就显示出来，协调灵活，打篮球和踢足球都是前锋位置。启动速度快，跑起来犹如小猛虎下山，又如那饿急了的小豹子看到了猎物。尤其那时留了一头飘逸的长发，在场上飞奔跑起来时长发自然也就跟着飘起来，那叫一个潇洒迷人。在你十岁左右送到一个青少年足球俱乐部踢了一年，妈妈就心疼了：训练之频繁密集，真是冬练三九，夏练三伏。100多度和10几度都要在外面训练或比赛。妈妈受不了了，一年后咱就不踢了。
那飘逸的长发依旧迷人。只是10年前我们回国，因为你长得好看，长得秀气，又是迷人的笑容和长发，在北京被陌生人无数次地叫成小姑娘。你说我穿成这样（宽松的短裤和T—shirt是典型的美式男孩子打扮）为什么他们看不出我是男孩子呢？你很苦恼。后来被叫急了，果断地忍痛割爱剪掉了长发。可是并不像你希望的，你还是被叫做小姑娘。你那九岁孩子稚嫩脸上的无奈是相当得可爱。
小的时候还在一个有名的游泳队游了几年泳，我的小宝贝儿入水就自然会游泳，那就如同是一条小鱼儿般地自由自在。后来也是因为妈妈看着游得辛苦，尤其是夏天和冬天，游泳场地有时和室外是一个温度，妈妈又心疼了。
也许你有成为巨星的潜质，（妈妈说的是也许，也许根本没有也许。）但妈妈从来都认为任何一个光环的背后都有很多心酸和运气，付出多才能得到多。人们总是看到贼吃肉，没看到或不愿看到贼挨打，为了吃那一口肉，大多数贼都是被打得遍体鳞伤的。妈妈信奉平平淡淡才是真，快乐平和的过日子才是最好的。任何玩儿的东西作为爱好就好了，真正职业化就太辛苦和枯燥乏味了。
后来又送去学了网球。其实运动的东西都触类旁通的，需要的是协调感和快速的反应，其他运动虽没有去正规学习，你玩儿起来也是有模有样。
跟其他孩子一样，从小学钢琴。后来天天听哥哥在家里拉大提琴，中学也就选了大提琴。你高中时还在学校组建了自己的舞蹈队。现在大了，觉得对钢琴更感兴趣，时不时还在弹。妈妈很欣慰，从来不指望靠这些成名成家，能作为你一生的爱好正是妈妈乐得看到的。
因为善良懂事，因为长得好看，因为嘴巴乖巧，因为聪明伶俐，因为古怪精灵，因为灵气可爱很容易得到大家的喜爱。
尤其是妈妈在有了个安静乖巧的儿子以后，你的到来让我享受到了生命的完整，做母亲的完整，因为你和哥哥的性格如果不是100%的不同，也有99.9%的迥异，所以我应该算是体验到了孩子身上所能有的大部分性格特征。
弹指一挥间，那个可爱活波奶声奶气的小婴孩儿好像还是昨天，今天已经是个帅气沉稳暖人的大男人啦。
很幸运能成为你的母亲，有你相伴了20年，希望我们母子情今生还能有百年。以后生生世世都是此情的再续。
我的小宝贝儿，小甜心，祝你二十岁生日快乐。
Every time I think of you - my little adorable baby boy - my heart is melted by your handsome, warm and joyful smiling face. It touches the softest part of your mom’s heart. I just can’t help smiling with happiness.
I have always praised myself for being a fair mom who treats both of my boys equally. Neither of you have received more love than the other. I wrote a Chinese and English bilingual letter plus a video for your brother’s 20th birthday. I will treat you the same way.
I was so confident in my improvisational writing skills and my ability to procrastinate that I didn’t even start until two weeks ago. I rewrote this opening many times. I was so panicked when your birthday was coming around corner. I had the worst writer’s block. Could I really not come up with anything to say? What should I do about it? I reviewed what I drafted for your brother. It was touching and full of my tender loving care. I felt pressured by the letter I wrote to your brother. I started to think maybe I should wait a year. Your twenty-first is a big milestone. That was my excuse. But I couldn’t convince myself with it. Because it won’t be fair to you. You are just too good and perfect to me to put into words. Your brother’s video inspired me. Ok, let me also start with your photos.
It took me two full nights to select your photos. But it was only the tip of the iceberg. I went through every single one, recollecting the happy moments and sentiments we had. What wonderful times we had! Smiles on you and your brother’s face were so bright, sunny and innocent. My eyes were tearing up. All of the memories in the past 20 years came together as if I time travelled back to the moment when you were born.
You were a beautiful baby with a handsome face and pointed nose even when you were a newborn. You were two pounds lighter than your brother. Of course, your brother was a “giant” infant. It made me feel sorry for you, as I was sick when you were born. I didn’t have enough milk to feed you. But you had always been so quiet even though you were still hungry. You never cried louder than a soft mumbling. You were so easy to take care of that I felt guilty.
Gradually, you grew up. Your big brother thought you were not good-looking when you were born. However, it was very fortunate that your brother was very kind-hearted, easygoing, and patient. Your brother sat in bed lying your head on his legs, lovingly petting you.
Your cheerful nature emerged when you grew up. Your silvery laughter which I called a duck’s quack filled up the room from the bottom of your heart. It flooded out of the room, declaring to everyone that there was a beautiful and joyful angel in our family.
You learned to talk when you were very little. Your voice was very pleasantly high pitched. It sounded like pearls falling on a jade plate. Like an eloquent little lark, you started challenging your quiet elder brother when you were two. Your brother normally ignored your provocation. But he would give you a spank when he was really pissed off. As a big five year old boy that was born weighing 9.4 pounds, your brother didn’t know how to control his strength. You came and told on your brother with a loud cry. When I asked why he didn’t beat others, you, my little clever one, would ignore my question and yet try to gain my sympathy with endless tears. You kept murmuring, “Brother is mean”. You realized that I was very reasonable. I would never punish your brother just because he beat you. I’d rather educate him the way he should treat you as his little brother. You also learned the lessons by not provoking him or running and looking for protection as soon as you could.
As time went by, you revealed your talent in sports. Your excellent coordination and swiftness made you a forward in soccer and a guard in basketball. You ran like a starving tiger or cheetah with your super start. Your flowing long hair made you an even more charming boy when you ran on the field. You were sent to a junior soccer club for training when you were ten. The training game schedule was so intensive that you had to work out throughout the year regardless of the freezing winter or blistering summer. I could not take it anymore and for your sake, I called it off after one year.
Your flowing hair and charming smile were misleading when you were in Beijing 10 years ago. You were so handsome that strangers in Beijing called you “little girlie” time after time. You were so embarrassed about being treated as a little girl even though you wore standard American clothes (loose pants and T shirt). But you got so fed up, you reluctantly decided to cut your long hair reluctantly. However, it didn’t play out like you wanted, you were still treated the same way. Your lovely face as a nine-year old boy was so innocent that you had no choice but to accept it.
You also joined a competitive swimming club when you were little. Your talent of swimming made you swim like a carefree fish even with little training. The training was so intensive that I had you quit again.
You might have had super star potential. Might have, might not have. But I always believed that there are lots of effort and luck behind any success. No pain no gain. No one could succeed without painstakingly hard work. Everyone always talks about the success, not the work behind the scenes. I do believe a peaceful life is best. Enjoy your hobbies. When you turn your hobby into your career, it becomes dull and tiresome.
You were sent to learn tennis. Honestly, sports are all the same in terms of coordination and fast reactions. Even though you never learned seriously, you still played like a pro.
Like the other kids, you started learning the piano when you were little. You started learning the cello in middle school after years of listening to your brother’s performance at home. You started a dance team in high school. When you grew up, you became more interested in piano. You still liked playing the piano from time to time. I was so grateful for this. I had never expected you to become a top piano or cello player. I just loved watching you enjoy them as lifelong hobbies.
Your kindness, attractiveness, cleverness, quirkiness, and cuteness could easily win others’ hearts.
Already with a mellow and thoughtful child, I felt I could especially enjoy the integrity of life and being a mother after you were born. If your character isn’t 100%, then maybe 99.9% different from your elder brother. I thought I had experienced every personality.
In an instant, it still felt like yesterday when you still had that affectedly sweet voice. Today, you are already a handsome, steady and sunny young man.
I’m very lucky to be your mother, you have accompanied me for 20 years. I hope to be your mom forever, even in our next life.
My adorable boy, my sweetheart, happy twentieth birthday.
