艾略特(Eliot)《J·阿尔弗雷德·普鲁弗洛克的情歌》

(T. S. Eliot,  1888 - 1965)

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译记

 

1. 年前女儿和我聊起艾略特的《J·阿尔弗雷德·普鲁弗洛克的情歌》。我突然意识到,自已竟然还没读过这首名诗的原文。等读过原文后,觉得自己的理解与前辈大师查良铮的中译有若干不同之处。于是动笔翻译了一遍。

 

2. 这首”非情“的”非歌“是艾略特20来岁时的诗作 -- 伟大诗人的第一部伟大作品 。现在读来,感受与当年(自是)颇有不同。愈加叹服。

 

3. 全诗粗粗看来,是假托了中年人的心境的”我“,要去一个聚会,希望向心仪的女士做出表白,以摆脱自己的孤寂,但又不知道是否能聚唤起足够的勇气。第三句很突兀的意象,就已经有了对读者的”警示“(这绝不是一首浪漫的情歌),而且对后面的诗句做了充足的铺垫(缺乏生气、等待解剖)。第十行的”问题“是个反复出现主题,而第十一行的逃避开始了通篇的犹疑,也衔接着后面的“会有时间”。之后反复的疑惑、焦虑、摇摆、自惭形秽、欲说还休,直至别无选择地放弃,然后还要再把幻想中的逃避击碎。

 

诗中更不乏广为引用的神来之笔,例如“我已经用咖啡勺子量出我的生命”。

 

4. 诗前的题词摘自但丁《神曲·地狱篇》第27歌的61-66行。我不懂意大利文,这里采用了手头上的朱维基译文(上海译文出版社84年版第195页)。(可惜朱维基是从英文转译的。)

 

5. 翻译中,第111行(“No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;”)最费踌躇。一语双关的诗句差不多是无法翻译的吧。原文一下子就能唤起读者对哈姆莱特著名“to be or not to be”独白的记忆,并暗示着“That is the question” 以及“lose the name of action”。

 

6. 这第111行还只是在翻译中难以传达。更有那些明显可以有多重不同读法的,有些歧义很难断言孰优孰劣,也就只能选择某一个了。比如第5行的“retreats”做名词或动词解均可,于是在第4-7行,至少可以有三、四种可能。一种解读会考虑到第4行结尾的逗号。但这又毕竟是诗。

 

7. 像第4-7行的几种读法这类歧义,对全诗的理解影响尚有限。更有很多可以深入讨论的,例如谁是“you and I”的“you”(你)。这个“你”也可以有至少五种解读,对后文理解的影响则很重要。究竟是读者?还是同伴?还是女伴?还是另一个版本的“我"(浪漫主义的”我“相对于现实主义的”我“)?还是空幻? 阅读者可反复把玩,试图自圆其说,而乐在其中。

 

8. 第二节的两句”副歌“(“在房间里女士们走来又走过 / 谈论着米开朗基罗”)是在抨击晚会及其参加者的无聊与虚荣,还是以米开朗基罗的形象来凸显”我“的无足轻重,或是...?

 

9. 我曾说过:“诗这玩意,一百个人会有一百个解读。艾略特的诗,一百个人会有一百二十个解读。” 博学复杂如艾略特,如果我们非要去猜测他“会是怎么想的、感觉的”,那也就只是个猜测而已。

 

一个译本就是一种解读,就权当再添一个解读吧。

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J·阿尔弗雷德·普鲁弗洛克的情歌

 

 

(美/英)T. S. Eliot

 

舒啸 译

 

 

假设我先前想到了

我是在向一个能够回到人间去的人答话,

那末这个火焰就不会再摇动了;

但是既然没有人能从这深渊

活着回去(假如我听到的是真话),

我就不怕出丑向你回答。

 

 

那末我们就走吧,你和我,

夜晚正在天幕上展开

仿佛病人麻醉在手术台;

我们走吧,走过几条冷冷清清的街巷,

走过低沉嘈杂的休憩地方 —

过夜的廉价旅店里浮躁的夜晚

也走过铺着锯末扔着牡蛎壳的餐馆:

街巷相接着仿佛一场乏味的争议,

带着阴险的图谋算计,

引导着你直到一个至关重要的问题 . . .

噢,不要问,“那是什么?”

我们走吧,去做客。

 

在房间里女士们走来又走过

谈论着米开朗基罗。

 

黄色的雾在窗玻璃上蹭着它的脊背,

黄色的烟在窗玻璃上蹭着它的鼻嘴,

把舌头舔进了夜晚的那些角落,

在阴沟的积水坑上面徘徊萦回,

让烟囱落下的烟炱落在它的背上,

悄悄滑过阳台, 忽地纵身一跃,

看到了这是个温柔的十月之夜,

围绕房子转一圈, 沉入梦乡。

 

而的的确确总会有时间

让沿着街巷滑行的黄色烟雾,

在窗玻璃上蹭着它的背部;

总会有时间,总会有时间

准备一副脸面去会见你去会见的脸面,

总会有时间去行刺谋杀和创造组建,

向你提出、搁置问题的那些手会有时间

去完成所有的劳作与歇闲;

有你的时间,有我的时间,

在享用烤面包和红茶之前,

还有时间去一百次优柔寡断,

还可以有一百个预见和更换。

 

在房间里女士们走来又走过

谈论着米开朗基罗。

 

而的的确确总会有时间

来疑虑:“我敢不敢?”“我敢不敢?”

有时间转过身走下楼梯

带着我头发中间的秃斑 —

[他们会说:“他的头发怎么变得稀薄!”]

我的晨礼服,我的领口坚实地顶在下颚

我的领结贵重而又不炫耀,由一支简单的别针固定 —

[他们会说:“可他的胳膊、腿怎么那么瘦弱!”]

我敢不敢

把这个宇宙惊动?

在一分钟内有足够的时间

来做出一分钟就可以再推翻的决定和修订。

 

因为我已经知道全部,知道全部 —  

已经知道那些傍晚,早晨,下午,

我已经用咖啡勺子量出我的生命;

我知道那些正在消亡的话语声

在远处房间传来的音乐中愈来愈轻微。

那么我该如何去冒昧?

 

而且我已经知道那些眼睛,知道所有的眼睛 —

那些眼睛用一个公式化的句子就把你固定,

而当我被公式化,在一支别针上展开肢体,

当我被钉在墙上蠕动扭曲,

那么我怎么开始

吐出来我时日和习性所有的烟蒂?

那么我该如何去冒昧?

 

而且我已经知道那些手臂,知道所有的手臂—

那些手臂带着环镯、赤裸、白皙

[但是在灯光下,布满了浅棕的汗毛!]

是不是哪件衣裙传来的香水味道

让我说得这么离题?

那些胳膊横在桌子上,或裹在披肩里。

那么我是不是该去冒昧?

我又应该怎么开始?

 

                          . . . . .

 

我是不是该说,我在黄昏时已经走过狭窄的街道

看到了孤独的男人们穿着衬衫,身子探出窗口

抽着袅袅冒烟的烟斗?. . .

 

我本来应该是一对粗糙的蟹螯

在沉寂的海底东奔西跑。

 

                          . . . . .

 

而下午、夜晚,睡得那么安静!

被长长的手指安抚着,

睡眠. . .疲倦. . .或是装病

在地板上伸展,在这里,在你我身侧。

在红茶、蛋糕和冰点之后,我是不是应该,

就有了足够的力量来把此时推进危急的时刻?

但是尽管我哭泣过禁食过,哭泣过祈祷过,

尽管我看到了我的头[有一点点发秃]用盘子端了进来

我不是先知 — 这里什么事情都不必大惊小怪;

我已经看到过我的辉煌时刻摇曳闪烁,

而且我已经看到过永恒的侍者拿着我的外套,暗暗发笑,

总而言之,我害怕过。

 

而且归根到底,这是不是真的有价值,

用过了橘子酱、红茶、酒汁甜点,

在瓷器之间,在闲聊你我之间,

是不是真的有价值

去微笑着啃下了这个课题,

去把宇宙压挤成了一个球体

去滚动着它朝向某个至关重要的问题,

去说:“我是拉撒路,回生起死,

回来告诉你们所有,告诉你们所有”  —

如果哪一位,在她头边放个枕头,

就会说:“那根本就不是我的意思。

那不是,一点都不是。”

 

而且归根到底,这是不是真的有价值,

这是不是真值得,

经历了那些日落和那些前庭和那些洒过水的街巷,

经历了那些小说,经历了那些茶杯,经历了那些曳地的裙装 —

以及这个,以及太多的更多?—

无法说明我的话意味着什么!

但是如果魔幻的灯笼在屏幕上打出神经的图案:

这是不是真值得

如果哪一位,放个枕头或扔条披肩,

而转向窗户,会要说:

“那不是,一点都不是,

那根本就不是我的意思。”

 

不!我不是哈姆莱特王子,也从不想那样生或死;  

只是位随从的爵士,要做的不多不少,

来给出行添些花哨,挑起一两桩热闹,

给王子出出主意;没错,就是件顺手的工具,

服服帖帖,能有用处就称心如意,

通达事理,谨慎仔细,无微不至;

满口海阔天空,但也有点笨拙钝滞,

有时候,事实上,几乎荒诞无稽 —

几乎,有时候,就是个傻子呆痴。

        

我变老了 . . . 我变老了 . . .

我就要把裤脚卷起穿着。

 

是不是我要朝后分头发?我有没有吃桃的胆量?

我要穿着白色的法兰绒裤子,在沙滩上徜徉。

我听到过美人鱼们彼此对着唱。

 

我不相信她们会为我歌唱。

 

当风把海水吹得或黑或白,

我看到过她们凌波驰向大海

梳理着波浪的白发朝后飞扬。

 

我们一直逗留彷徨

在海姑娘用红棕海带编饰的厅房

直到人声唤醒我们,我们就会溺水而亡。

              

 

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T.S.Eliot 原诗:

 

               The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
 

                          S’io credesse che mia risposta fosse

                          A persona che mai tornasse al mondo

                          Questa fiamma staria sensa piu scosse.

                          Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo

                          Non torno vivo alcun, s’i’odo il vero

                          Sensa tema d’infamia ti rispondo.

 

               Let us go then, you and I,

               When the evening is spread out against the sky

               Like a patient etherized upon a table;

               Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,

               The muttering retreats

               Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels

               And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:

               Streets that follow like a tedious argument

               Of insidious intent

               To lead you to an overwhelming question . . .

               Oh, do not ask, ‘What is it?’

               Let us go and make our visit.

 

               In the room the women come and go

               Talking of Michelangelo.

 

               The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,

               The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes,

               Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,

               Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,

               Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,

               Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,

               And seeing that it was a soft October night,

               Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

 

               And indeed there will be time

               For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,

               Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;

               There will be time, there will be time

               To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;

               There will be time to murder and create,

               And time for all the works and days of hands

               That lift and drop a question on your plate;

               Time for you and time for me,

               And time yet for a hundred indecisions,

               And for a hundred visions and revisions,

               Before the taking of a toast and tea.

 

               In the room the women come and go

               Talking of Michelangelo.

 

               And indeed there will be time

               To wonder, ‘Do I dare?’ and, ‘Do I dare?’

               Time to turn back and descend the stair,

               With a bald spot in the middle of my hair—

               [They will say: ‘How his hair is growing thin!’]

               My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,

               My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—

               [They will say: ‘But how his arms and legs are thin!’]

               Do I dare

               Disturb the universe?

               In a minute there is time

               For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

 

               For I have known them all already, known them all—

               Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,

               I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;

               I know the voices dying with a dying fall

               Beneath the music from a farther room.

               So how should I presume?

 

               And I have known the eyes already, known them all—

               The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,

               And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,

               When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,

               Then how should I begin

               To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?

               And how should I presume?

 

               And I have known the arms already, known them all—

               Arms that are braceleted and white and bare

               [But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!]

               Is it perfume from a dress

               That makes me so digress?

               Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.

               And should I then presume?

               And how should I begin?

 

                                        . . . . .

 

 

               Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets

               And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes

               Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows? . . .

 

               I should have been a pair of ragged claws

               Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

 

                                        . . . . .

 

 

               And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!

               Smoothed by long fingers,

               Asleep . . . tired . . . or it malingers

               Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.

               Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,

               Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?

               But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,

               Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter

               I am no prophet—and here’s no great matter;

               I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,

               And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,

               And in short, I was afraid.

 

               And would it have been worth it, after all,

               After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,

               Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,

               Would it have been worth while

               To have bitten off the matter with a smile,

               To have squeezed the universe into a ball

               To roll it toward some overwhelming question,

               To say: ‘I am Lazarus, come from the dead,

               Come back to tell you all, I shall tell you all’—

               If one, settling a pillow by her head,

               Should say: ‘That is not what I meant at all.

               That is not it, at all.’

 

               And would it have been worth it, after all,

               Would it have been worth while,

               After the sunsets and the dooryards and the sprinkled streets,

               After the novels, after the teacups, after the skirts that trail along the floor—

               And this, and so much more?—

               It is impossible to say just what I mean!

               But as if a magic lantern threw the nerves in patterns on a screen:

               Would it have been worth while

               If one, settling a pillow or throwing off a shawl,

               And turning toward the window, should say:

               ‘That is not it at all,

               That is not what I meant at all.’

 

               No! I am not Prince Hamlet, nor was meant to be;

               Am an attendant lord, one that will do

               To swell a progress, start a scene or two

               Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,

               Deferential, glad to be of use,

               Politic, cautious, and meticulous;

               Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;

               At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—

               Almost, at times, the Fool.

 

               I grow old . . . I grow old . . .

               I shall wear the bottoms of my trousers rolled.

 

               Shall I part my hair behind? Do I dare to eat a peach?

               I shall wear white flannel trousers, and walk upon the beach.

               I have heard the mermaids singing, each to each.

 

               I do not think that they will sing to me.

 

               I have seen them riding seaward on the waves

               Combing the white hair of the waves blown back

               When the wind blows the water white and black.

 

               We have lingered in the chambers of the sea

               By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown

               Till human voices wake us, and we drown.

 

 

 

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英文诗歌选译

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拜伦(Byron)《西庸的囚徒》(片段)

雪莱(Shelley)《一朵枯萎的紫罗兰》

惠特曼(Whitman)《哦,生命啊!》(-- 纪念 Robin Williams)

狄金森(Dickinson)《成功最为甘美》(Fr112)

狄金森(Dickinson)《除了诗人们歌咏的秋日》(Fr123)

狄金森(Dickinson)《慢慢地来 — 伊甸乐园》(Fr205)

狄金森(Dickinson)《狂野之夜 — 狂野之夜》(Fr269)

狄金森(Dickinson)《我在可能性里栖居》(Fr466)

狄金森(Dickinson)《因为我不能停步等候死亡》(Fr479)

狄金森(Dickinson)《这个角度的景观》(Fr578)

狄金森(Dickinson)《疯痴多是最神圣的理智》(Fr620)

狄金森(Dickinson)《我从未见到过荒野》(Fr800)

狄金森(Dickinson)《宽宽裕裕地备好这张床》(Fr804)

狄金森(Dickinson)《它是寂寞的欢咏》(Fr873)

狄金森(Dickinson)《比鸟儿更加深入夏天》(Fr895)

狄金森(Dickinson)《一个人可能会说句...》(Fr913)

狄金森(Dickinson)《无法察觉地,犹如愁绪》(Fr935)

狄金森(Dickinson)《欢乐时,时光自行消逝》(Fr1182)

狄金森(Dickinson)《夏天有两个起点》(Fr1457)

狄金森(Dickinson)《就是在这里我的夏日驻足》(Fr1771)

狄金森(Dickinson)《我的生命结束前已经结束过两次》(Fr1773)

叶芝(Yeats)《茵尼斯夫里的湖岛》

艾略特(T.S.Eliot)《J·阿尔弗雷德·普鲁弗洛克的情歌》

康明斯(e e cummings)《有一个地方我从未去过》

狄兰·托马斯(Dylan Thomas)《不要温和地步入那永恒的黑夜》

史蒂文斯(Stevens)《罐子轶事》

比利·柯林斯(Billy Collins)《致我最爱的17岁高中女孩》

遵老同学独舞先生命,玩笑译“Someone Like You”

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【改译】叶芝(Yeats)《当你老了》

【改译】叶芝:《一九一六年复活节》

 

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修正标点。谢谢朋友指正。
舒啸 发表评论于
回复 '富春江南' 的评论 : 谢谢富春江南垂顾。文学城里的确幸福,能欣赏诸位的美文、妙书。

诗人艺术家们大约最为敏感,早早地就把握了时代的脉搏。而再提炼、凝聚、升华,以各自擅长的形式,或诗或画或音乐表现出来,便是他们的才华了。
舒啸 发表评论于
回复 '菲儿天地' 的评论 : 谢谢菲儿!周末愉快。
富春江南 发表评论于
20岁就能handle、写出这么复杂的感情,很了不起的诗人
富春江南 发表评论于
在文学城能够经常接受这样的诗人的诗歌洗礼真是太幸福了。翻译出了主人翁那种局促不安、欲言又止、自卑小我、煎熬、多情、浪漫......各种复杂的心情!赞,诗歌虽长,但是读起来不累人,给人思考,有画面感、非常好
菲儿天地 发表评论于
这首诗好长啊,就看你的译记就很受益,谢谢分享!
舒啸 发表评论于
幸会ziqiao123!谢谢光临、指正。误植之字,已改正。这两天几次打错字,惭愧了。问好。
ziqiao123 发表评论于
译的意趣两得。"把舌头添进了夜晚的那些角落"-- 是不是应该“舔” 还是故意用的“添”?
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