悼念外婆

外婆周六于台北病逝了。两个礼拜前，一向健康的她突然病倒，98高龄被紧急手术，凶多吉少。我妈和二舅、舅妈立刻飞往台北，然而却被困在14天的禁闭中，咫尺天涯，最后也没能见到外婆一面，真令人痛心。











This week, as we said goodbye to Waipo, it hit me how incredibly fortunate I have been to have her as my grandmother.

Over the weekend, Will and I gathered the kids to honor her life and to share with them the pictures I have of Waipo, including the ones taken on our trip back to Taiwan 11 years ago. Though the kids were young and cannot remember much about her, I am so thankful that we have these photos as tangible artifacts to share with them. Seeing themselves with Waipo, Becca and Lucas felt more connected with her. As we peruse through them, I told them stories of Waipo, her family, her upbringing, her devotion to my dearest Waigong, her passions and joy…like a series of vignettes woven together, hopefully these memories painted an accurate and beautiful portrayal of Waipo. Becca and Lucas listened intently, and I could tell that these cherished memories gave them a sense of who they are and where they came from.

What made Waipo so exceptional?

Her elegance. She always looked the picture of perfection and grace. During my visits with her, I always enjoyed our little facial rituals together. I told her that I hoped to be half as put-together as she was when I grow to be her age.

Her kindness. Helping others was a part of her DNA. Her eagerness to share her Chinese herbal tea recipes and physical exercises was just endearing. She wrote to newspapers to advocate for the elderlies and asked for donation of exercise machines for them. I see the same generosity in my mom. I know what an unusual gift that is, to give of your time and resources so freely and often.

Her steadfast strength. Waipo fell and broke her hip twice, and when the doctors announced that there was little hope for her to walk again, she didn’t give up. She worked so hard to regain her independence and mobility. No matter how many times she was knocked down or made to endure painful trials, she just kept coming back. Because of her unyielding courage, she was my quiet hero.

Her passion for life. She had more energy and interest in life than anyone I’ve ever known. She was so fun. She had many hobbies, and she took them very seriously. In her 90s, she still sang in a choir, and she even traveled overseas to perform on stage. One of my most vivid memories of her is she hunching over her choir music sheets, studying the English lyrics with such intensity. Whatever she did, she did with utmost determination and diligence.

She was gregarious. She’s a big people person. She was well-loved by all her coworkers and choir friends, and that friendliness and warmth was definitely something that rubbed off on my mom, myself, and Becca & Lucas. During one outing with her choir, she would often instruct me to take special care of one member or another. She was thoughtful and caring towards others.

She was a sassy lady, and her strong personality was one of her awesome qualities. Waipo was not afraid to state and defend her opinions. In fact, there was little use going against her. She was fiercely independent.

She always pushed us to be the best person we could be. Waipo perpetually preached the importance of education. For years, she would urge me to further my studies and to pursue my Ph.D. She believed in my strength and intelligence and wanted the best for me. She celebrated my achievements and my milestones. On one of my college summer visits to Taiwan, she sat me down and gave me a heart-to-heart on choosing a kind man as my future spouse. My best memory with her was when she told me that Waigong was the kindest man on the face of the earth. (And Waipo, I took your advice to heart, and I can honestly say that I too, am married to the kindest soul on earth.)

Looking back at Waipo’s life in photos, especially those of her youth, Will and the kids kept commenting how much my face resembles Waipo’s. I see that same resemblance in Becca, and in my mom.

It made me realize that there is a part of her in each of us, something that is permanent, and it keeps her from becoming just a wonderful memory. That same unbreakable bond allows her lineage to pass on, through me, through my kids, through all of us.

Waipo’s 98 years on this earth were beautiful and full. She was an inspiration to me and many others, and her legacy will live on for generations to come.