SIGNS THAT YOU ARE OLD
1) You are asleep, but others worry that you're dead.
2) You can live without sex, but not without glasses.
3) Your back goes out more than you do.
4) You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the
room.
5) You buy a compass for the dash of your car.
6) Your best friend is dating someone half their age.
7) You would rather go to work than stay home sick.
8) You constantly talk about the price of gasoline.
9) You consider coffee one of the most important things in life.
10) You make an appointment to see the dentist.
11) You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12) You answer a question with, "because I said so!"
13) Your ears are hairier than your head.
14) You get into a heated argument about pension plans.
15) You got cable for the weather channel.
16) You have a party and neighbors don't even realize it.
