College Essay系列(三十五):芝大 小文书 Why Chicago(1)

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College Essay系列(三十五):芝大小文书 Why Chicago(1)

在通往大学的申请之路上,小文书(Why School,Why Major)也是你表达自我、销售自我的关键工具之一。

 

但对于这类主题的文书题目,大多数申请者不知道如何对学校深入了解,更会觉得写起来千篇一律、很boring。很多同学,即使对学校做过很深入的了解,也感觉写不出一篇好的小文书。小文书的创作,真的不比Common App主文书容易多少。

 

但大家不懂的是,小文书却会比主文书更重要。这是你一对一地向某学校倾诉”衷肠”的机会。写得好,可以是涧松夫子来,酒肠连日开。写不好,就成了枯藤老树昏鸦,断肠人在天涯了。

 

写好小文书的先决条件是做好school research。你要知道学校的课程、科研、教授、活动、机构等方面的细致内容,也要了解各种生活、文化、社交的人、事、物。关于school research的步骤,我以后单独开篇再讲。

 

接下来,朽石君以三篇成功的"Why UChicago"文书为例,给大家讲习一下小文书的质量。我会分析这三篇文书的结构和内容,为各位提供参考。选芝大文书,是因为这里的文书不限字数,可以看到作者淋漓尽致的热情。

 

无论你是即将申请的高中生,还是已在大学就读的美本人,这里都有让你提高的信息。你要学会怎么用夸赞对方的语言去销售你自己。这,对你将来申研、招聘都是极其有用的。

 

 

今天先看看第一篇吧:

 

 

 

 

India Haze

Class 2025 

Major PolSci & CRES

Los Angeles CA

作者是南加州白人女孩 India。可惜的是,India并没有给我们透露她的Stats和ECs,也没有LinkedIn,我只能看到她的Instagram有很多照片和follower。

 

UChicago exemplifies originality. It is a school with character, community, and creativity. I hope to attend UChicago to find my next home. I look forward to participating in ScavHunt, Kuviasungnerk, and attending as many Doc Films as I can. As a musician and costume-enthusiast, I hope to perform in the University Symphony Orchestra's Halloween Concert and treating myself to a dollar milkshake each Wednesday! I find the distinctive personality of the university mesmerizing and hope to take part in the many traditions and superstitions on and off campus.

 

As a future political science major with a love for math, music, and economics, I value interdisciplinary studies like no other. With UChicago's Core Curriculum, I am excited to not only study politics, but to learn about biological, social, and physical sciences too- all of which will be done in a small-classroom environment where I can ask questions and participate in dialogue with students and professors. Additionally, l value the freedom and flexibility offered in the quarter system and the opportunity to take such a wide variety of courses throughout this time.

 

Lastly, I hope to attend UChicago for its outstanding Institute of Politics. I plan on taking advantage of the many events and opportunities for civic engagement offered by the institute. And I hope to be able to participate in the Charles H. Percy Summer in Washington Program. The mentorship program offered what allows students to stay with UChicago Alumni is amazing. And when I move to Washington as a graduate and alumni, I, too, look forward to paying it forward by hosting students and engaging with the next generation of free-thinkers and political minds.

 

Overall, I hope to attend UChicago so that I can join a community of diverse individuals trying to make the world a better place. I am excited to take advantage of the unique relationship the university holds with the city and to participate in activities on and off campus. I love the friendly competition inspired by the housing system and can't wait to compete for the coveted maroon cup. 

 

If I were to describe myself in one word, it would be inquisitive, so I'd like to leave you with a question: why not?

 

 
技术指标:
Structure:Trio

1) Misc./校园文化综合

2) Core Curr/学术课程

3) Ins Pol/专业+校友

WordCount=367
Density=0.41
 

 

 

这篇367字的Why Chicago,从三个方面讲到芝大对自己的适合性。

 

开篇明义的一句之后,直接接着的就是第一部分。凸某很难一个词归类这里的内容,就说学生校园生活的丰富内容吧。细节有Scav Hunt,Kuviasungnerk,Doc Films,Halloween Concert,以及星期三的一美元奶昔。

 

第二部分,讲芝大独特的核心课程,谈到small-classroom和quarter system这两个细节。这里虽然有好多课程的列表式陈述,但都属于general term,就不属于芝大的专有细节了。

 

第三部分,是跟专业相关的研究拓展项目,提到Ins of Politics,并把自己对校友关系的重视,以Percy Program来了个硬接入。

 

最后的总结段,无需细节,只需综合。但”Why Not”结尾是个小败笔。

 

这篇也有7处芝大的细节,说明了作者对芝大的了解到位。虽然多数细节都流于清单式罗列,但可以理解这篇在写作时,作者并不准备写很多字数,算是一个应限制。从这点上看,这很可能是照搬了给其他学校的Why Us文书当模板,中间换了几个适当的细节而已。但没关系,了解的够多也是了解。

 

总体这篇小文书,算是达标的OK文,但对申请不具有翻盘能力。如果作者的申请profile没有展示别的什么可造之才的话,她这个Offer拿的就比较Lucky了。

 

对了,CRES专业,全称是Critical Race Ethnics Studies。全校9400名本科生里,只有21人目前在读CRES专业。嘿嘿嘿

 

下一篇,我们读同属来自加州的Ricky男孩的Why Chicago。

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