对迷惘的风(十八)的部分评论

替宋晴不值，张成现在跟她，完全是利益关系。
风中玫瑰 于 2004-09-08 06:39:31
她既然能经济独立，为什么不能感情独立？只有利益关系的婚姻，还有什么存在价值？何况这个利益还是张成的利益，不是宋晴的利益。

回复：替宋晴不值，张成现在跟她，完全是利益关系。她既然能经济
pgz 于 2004-09-08 07:54:05
I do not really think Zhang is taking advantage of SongQing. He really feel guilty about Xiaoyue so that he could not feel any thing. For Song Qing, more than 10 years good time, love, and happy memory is not that easy to forget. It is not she can not be independent, she can not believe all the love can dispear so fast. All the loves acculmulated during life is used to overcome the bad time like this. But as Zhang hurt her more, the love credits will be used more, once the love bucket is empty, the relationship is gone. more than ten years relationship, so much thing got through together, can not be cut over night.
My two cents.

不同意。她早在张成回国的时候就想到会有另外一个女人的出现。
风中玫瑰 于 2004-09-08 08:00:19
当然一旦事情临头，感情很受伤，需要时间去疗伤。但是其实她对于感情的态度，并不比张成理性多少。倒是晓月，所有的伤和痛都自己扛著。
其实通常来说，最放不下应该是晓月，最该纠缠的也是晓月。但是在这个故事里晓月没有。比较稀罕。

回复：不同意。她早在张成回国的时候就想到会有另外一个女人的出
pgz 于 2004-09-08 08:19:41
I guess we agree on the part Songqing should come back with Zhangcheng. I will do if my hubby insist to come back. It is her mistake she did not do it. Also it depends on circumstance, if Zhangcheng is only try out water, leave Songqing as backup in US, Zhangcheng is real bad to do what he did. Some years ago, I would think I could not tolerate any of my hubby’s mistake, now over so many years, there are so many ties, I do not really feel I can cut it over night. I guess it is complicated though, it is hard to imagine without being there, though I hope I will be never in that position.
I guess Xiaoyue keeps her self respect and dignity by leaving, at least it is consistent as her initial innocency, otherwise she would be a bitch, and I will really doubt if she plot the child, or did it innocently. Again, never done that, do not really know how that feels. Just a guess.

my 22 cents
MAZI 于 2004-09-08 10:07:47
I did meet the girls like Xiongyue in real life.to your surprise ,I just think they are kind of pathetic.
They do give people impression that they are very nice and care about others. But the thing is none can contribute in long run foreseeing no return ahead .their sacred sacrifice is all due to the self-pity and the extreme lack of confidence in themselves.
given the nature how they reason the things ,they are doomed to miss the goals they wanted to achieve . but once they have to confront the fact, they could become very bitter,resenting evertthing .
I dont give a shit for marrying 2milk ,but by all means ,it’s not wise to marry a 2milk with such personality.
to my knowlege ,the returnees like zhangcheng have very shakey position in china since they didnt bring much values to the company they work for except their smooth communication with westners,which is a skill can be caught up by local hirings very soon.without the ability to tap the oversea market ,they dont have the real competitive edge in the long run .but since they are low level management in US ,they barely have the network to do
that .
I dont give a shit to "bao 2milk", but zhangcheng is not up to par to do so .
he has to pay huge amount alimony to songqing if they get divorced, he would become pennyless and maybe jobless in the future.I dont think xiaoyue would have a baby with him after knowing this .

thanks for speaking out
pgz 于 2004-09-08 11:17:50
Agree. When you have a lot of age, it is pathetic to be innocent. They will ruin themselves, and possible others as well. But in this case, I can not blame Xiaoyue for ruining Songqing’s life, it is Zhangcheng and Songqing. Songqing gives Zhangchen the chance(but if they decide Songqing will stay back US just as back up, then it is purely ZhangCheng’s fault), and Zhangcheng seems will take this chance anyway, if it is not Xiaoyue, will be others. Xiaoyue would ruin herself any way just because of her innocency.

可不可以把欲擒故纵换个顺序 用在这里?
sanni 于 2004-09-08 12:12:16
从张成一意孤行的回国发展开始张和宋之间就有了裂痕，宋恐怕同时也已经开始反思自己的婚姻了。能讨一个女人的欢心也就能讨得多个女人的欢心，好大喜功，情场得意，这样的男人一般没有太深的城府也不会有太大的出息，好多主意怕是要老婆拿的。以宋晴的干练，张成的回国恐怕不是她力不从心阻拦不了，而是力没出心，张成的任性让她不得不以此机会再次验证自己的选择（当然没料到要以婚姻为代价）。宋晴如果真的还想留住张成，昨天以前就该走了。弱势中的晓月在张成心中肯定是重中之重，没有了对比，张成或许还会理智一些。晓月的悄然离去对她自己百利而
无一害，不是说她次举比宋晴聪明，只怕是宋晴已经不屑这么做了，她要张成自己作贱自己在她心中的分量。这么说来，自以为聪明的张成夹在两个真正聪明的女人中间倒显得很可伶了。这样的情节乱的让我心烦。

呵呵！其实作者也写了晓月为自己的冲动后悔了，
风中玫瑰 于 2004-09-08 08:31:37
可是那个时候一切 都太晚了。
如果说张成跟晓月的爱情可以理解，那他让晓月怀孕就不可理解。如果他不能富很多责任，就该避孕！！
这点自制力没有？一个成年男人？
当然我也理解宋晴的感受，不可能一夜间斩断10年的婚姻。但是奇怪的是她连考虑都没考虑过这种可能性.

其实晓月从开始所讲的“不赖著你””，多少是个陷阱。
无名读者 于 2004-09-08 08:20:35
对她自己是自欺欺人，对张成来讲是心理安慰。 事到临头，是谁的痛自己添。宋晴与张成的分居是两人对环境及个人发展意见不一致的结果，并不是宋晴一个人的责任，况且张成也并为整个家庭作出什么让步。并不是每个家庭只要分居就得出问题， 尤其是暂时分居，人是要有一定的自制力的。

风中玫瑰 于 2004-09-08 08:36:50
不是说谁的责任的问题。如果不能在一起，不如分手。

无名读者 于 2004-09-08 08:51:59
如果感情能说分就分， 那就没有了这许多凄美故事。

晓月从和宋分手后并没做错什么，
紫水晶# 于 2004-09-08 08:45:39
我想这就是作者一开始写的晓月，爱张成，想要他的孩子，虽然痛苦但并不纠缠。如果纠缠多了，就不是作者想写的晓月了。

两个人在这点上没有可比性
见妮 于 2004-09-08 10:46:29
宋晴和张成的原本是个完整的家， 现在好比一面镜子有了裂缝， 虽难以弥补， 可要因此就把这面镜子给砸了， 不是那么简单。
晓月本来就生活在自己的想象中， 一直认为只要宋晴不来， 张成不回去， 张成就是她的。 现在前提变了，宋晴来了， 她该知道在张成心中那边沉哪边重。
因为这种分居几乎是没有期限的。有多少人能够战胜人性的自私？
想想看，谁恋爱的时候不是想方设法地在一起？如果这种感觉没有了，爱情就消失了。

风中玫瑰 于 2004-09-08 10:53:22
呵呵，你见没见过死缠烂打得的女人？

呵呵， 说实在话， 我见过的女甩男的居多
见妮 于 2004-09-08 11:02:41
碰上过一个第3者的， 她自己也有家。 一对出墙的男女一起回了趟国， 女的嫌男的出手小气， 跟他拜拜了。 我的这个朋友， 出墙男人的太太还没来得及找律师， 她老公就痛哭流涕的回头了。她老公是开诊所的医生， 一下子买了上百万的人寿险给太太和孩子。
这死打烂缠无论如何也用不道宋晴身上， 何况往下还不知道谁缠谁那。

who is 死缠烂打
MAZI 于 2004-09-08 11:17:36
xiaoyue or songqing? give me a break !
knowing zhangcheng is a married man ,xiaoyue still gave birth to their baby reinforcing the tie between them. you dont see the 死缠烂打 in her but give the credits to songqing.Is it all because she has a legitimate relationship with zhangcheng and is giving a shot to save the marriage?
you must be insane.
physically,zhangcheng may like xiaoyue more right now .but who can ganrantee that he would stop at that point and not fall in love with another "xiaoyue" in the future? assuming his next affair is not so troublesome?
he relies on songqing spritually and financially.although for song,it’s the samething ,betray. and it’s not worth to brag about.
i think she would weigh the things altogether and make a decision.

回复：晓月从和宋分手后并没做错什么，
MAZI 于 2004-09-08 10:23:23
what could xiaoyue do after break up with zhangcheng?
asking zhengcheng to get divorce for her? marrying her?she knew zhangcheng hates trouble . besides, it conlicts her innocent image she tried to keep all the time. so the only thing she can do to push thing forward is to concede in the first place .
putting their daughter at stake ,she is sure undecicive playboy zhangcheng cant just walk away with all the guilty .
I dont think songqing is independent.she is still zhangcheng’s legitimate wife back then .She was entitled to do everything she thought right to save her rocky marriage. If she suceeds,good for her ,if not ,she could ask for divorce .
It’s nothing to do with dependency.

回复：晓月从和宋分手后并没做错什么，
无名读者 于 2004-09-08 08:57:20
同意。但事后的痛绝不是晓月当初可以预见的， 或者说当初的洒脱是盲目的。

哀寞大于心死
迷惘的我 于 2004-09-08 07:26:28
林，那天，知道你们不在，特地绕道去看了看你的家。坐在车里，默默地点了一只烟，想像著里面你和家人的快乐。看的出来，你很爱这个家。从家门口到后院，真的是很漂亮。忽然明白了为什么你从不给我任何承诺的原因。是啊，谁愿意抛弃这么舒适温馨的家，为了一个毫不相干的女子？从开始到现在，你不过是在游戏，给平淡的生活添加一点调料而已。 我真傻，傻到忘了自己。为了你，我千里迢迢来到这里，没有了工作，没有了快乐，天天想的只是见到你，为了你的一个拥抱，一个吻。而你，却没有给我一句承诺。如果你并不爱我，为什么要重新开始这一切？为什么不让我离你远远的？算了吧，放了吧，还有什么舍不得的。你不属于我，过去不，现在不，将”也不。我不能说你是个坏男人，”你绝不是一个君子。 我真希望我能有这个勇气，走到你的面前，对你说，我们结束吧。

回复：哀寞大于心死
紫水晶# 于 2004-09-08 07:35:50
你是该结束了，因为到最后，你不仅会伤你自己，也会伤到另外一个女人，也许还有孩子。

回复：哀寞大于心死
无名读者 于 2004-09-08 07:45:58
跨出一步是另一片天空， 只是需要足够的勇气去克服那一份原本就不可依赖的感情， 祝你好运！

为什么还不结束呢？
丁丁J 于 2004-09-08 09:40:25
这种男人还值得你为他留步吗？难道还要等他说分手？那将对你是如何的羞辱，如同晓月？两情相悦，如果带给你的不是快乐，还有什么舍不下的呢。继续下去，只能是更多的痛苦。

造化在你的手下：)
whisper 于 2004-09-08 13:33:36
一直在看你的这个系列。很抓人，和现实契合得很好。
发现一个问题，这里面的道德，舆论等方面都有一边倒状态。张成之所以有两个女人来爱，一定有一些过人的品质在里面，这里不是指一些骗小女孩的烛光月下，善于制造浪漫气氛的小把戏，而是某种气魄，大丈夫顶天立地，善始善终。所以希望能看到他做出一些漂亮的事情来，而不是稀里糊涂，随心所欲，不负责任，事业不得意，情场也失意。只有这样他似乎更能撑得住这个矛盾的三角中的一角，似乎这样更有戏些。
当然，也不妨把他往坏里写，往死胡同里赶，但那样不现实，不公平，他的角色变得更加向道具，用他来牵线塑造女人的故事，这样更容易走进女性文学的局限性里面。
瞎说一通，尽供水沫参考。：)

Thanks so much
bluewoman 于 2004-09-08 07:12:37
I enjoy reading your articles. Give me a lot of pleasure.

北京胡同串子 于 2004-09-08 09:43:26
写的真好，不光好看，还令人深思。谢谢！ 唉，真是时代的悲剧！

无名音乐 于 2004-09-08 11:37:39
我能理解张成，尽管我也是女人，虽然他对晓月很残忍，可是他是对婚姻负责，不是每个男人都能做到这点的。如果他抛弃宋睛，难道对他们的两个孩子就不残忍吗？
难就难在只有一个张成，错就错在碰到一张太难选择的牌。

手有余香 于 2004-09-08 17:48:19
这样的生活如同鸡肋，人不能生活在对过去的回忆中啊。
这篇小说倒是反映了比较现实的问题。舍得舍得，不舍那有得？