论 解 嘲
·林语堂·
人生有时颇感寂寞，或遇到危难之境。人之心灵，却能发出妙用，一笑置之，于是又轻松下来。这是好的，也可以看出人之度量。古代名人，常有这样的度量，所以成其伟大。希腊大哲人苏格拉底，娶了姗蒂柏（Xantippe）,她是有名的悍妇，常作河东狮吼。传说苏氏未娶之前，已经闻悍妇之名，然而苏氏还是娶她。他有解嘲方法，说娶老婆有如御马，御驯马没有什么可学，娶个悍妇，于修心养性的功夫大有补助。有一天家里吵闹不休，苏氏忍无可忍，只好出门。正到门口，他太太由屋顶倒一盆水下来，正正淋在他的头上。苏氏说。“我早晓得，雷霆之后必有甘霖。”真亏得这位哲学家雍容自若的态度。
林肯的老婆也是有名的，很泼辣，喜欢破口骂人。有一天一个送报的小孩子，十二三岁不知道送报太迟，或有什么过失，遭到林肯太太百般恶骂，詈不绝口。小孩去向报馆老板哭诉，说她不该骂人过甚，以后他不肯到那家送报了。这是一个小城，于是老板向林肯提起这件小事。林肯说：“算了吧！我能忍她十多年，这小孩子偶然挨骂一两顿，算么？”这是林肯的解嘲。
中国有句老话，叫做“塞翁失马，焉知非福”。林肯以后成为总统，据他小城的律师同事赫恩顿（Herdon）写的传记，说是应归功于这位太太。赫恩顿书中说，林肯怪可怜的，每星期六半夜，大家由酒吧要回家时，独林肯一人不大愿意回家。所以林肯那副出人头地，简练机警，应对如流的口才，全是在酒吧中学来的。又苏格拉底也是家里不得安静看书，因此成一习惯，天天到市场去，站在街上谈空说理。因此乃开始“游行派的哲学家”（Peripatetic School）的风气。他们讲学，不在书院，就在街头逢人问难驳诘。这一派哲学家的养成，也应归功于苏婆。
关于这类的故事很多，尤其关于几个名人临终时的雅谑。这种修炼功夫，常人学不来的。苏格拉底之死，由柏拉图写来是最动人的故事。市政府说他巧辩惑众，贻误青年子弟，赐他服毒自尽。那夜他慷慨服毒，门人忍痛陪着，苏氏却从容阐发真理。最后他的名言是：“想起来，我欠某人一支雄鸡未还。”叫他门人送去，不可忘记。这是他断气以前最后的一句话。金圣叹判死刑，狱中发出的信，也是这一派。“花生米与豆腐干同嚼，大有火腿滋味。”（大约如此。）历史上从容就义的人很多，不必列举。
西班牙有一传说，一个守礼甚谨的伯爵将死，一位朋友去看他。伯爵已经气喘不过来，但是那位访客还是刺刺不休长谈下去。伯爵只好忍着静听，到了最后关头，伯爵不耐烦对来客说：“对不起，求先生原谅，让我此刻断气。”他藏身朝壁，就此善终。
我尝读耶稣最后一夜对他门徒的长谈，觉得这段动人的议论，尤胜过苏氏临终之言，而耶稣在十字架上临死之言：“上帝啊，宽恕他们，因为他们所为，出于不知。”这是耶稣的伟大，出于人情所不能及。这与他一贯的作风相同：“施之者比受之者有福。”可惜我们常人能知不能行，常做不到。
In life, one feels lonely sometimes, or will be in a risky and dangerous situation. But one’s good spirit can make it better by laughing it off and one can get lighthearted again, thus all is well. This reflects one’s tolerance too. Historical figures often had such tolerance. Take Greek philosopher Socrates, he married Xantippe, a known shrew who liked to hen-peck. It is said that having known what she’s like, Socrates married her nevertheless. His way of self-deprecating was to say that taming a wife is like taming a horse. You could learn nothing from horse taming, whereas you could hone your temperament by marrying a shrew. One day however, the quarreling in the house was way too much even for Socrates, he sought refuge by walking out. On the threshold of the door, his wife poured a bucket of water and it all landed right on top of his head. Socrates said: “ I saw this coming. Where there are thunders, the downpour can’t be too far behind.” How insouciant his philosophical attitude was.
Lincoln’s wife was also known for her aggressiveness and tendency for swearing. One day, a newspaper boy of about 12 or13, was late or something. This got Mrs.Lincoln all worked up and her bad mouthing kept going on and on. The kid cried to his boss and said her reaction went overboard. He’d never go delivering paper for her. It was a small town. The boss mentioned this matter to Lincoln. Lincoln replied: “ Forget it! I have put up with her for more than ten years now. The kid suffered only one scolding, what’s the big deal?” This is Lincoln’s way of self-deprecating.
One Chinese saying goes, “whether Papa Sai’s losing horseturns out to be a blessing in disguise, you never know”. Lincoln later went on to become the President. In his biography by Herdon, the author claims that certain credit should go to his wife. In the book, Herdon says Lincoln was quite pathetic. Each Saturday night, everyone left the bar for home in the small hours. Only Lincoln stayed behind, reluctant to go home. He actually developed his oratory style--concise and quick-witted, always having a retort ready-- in the bar. Similarly, Socrates couldn’t read peacefully at home and habitually went to the market place to philosophize, thus the beginning of Peripatetic School. They held seminars not in a school but right on the street where the hoi polloi and philosophy students could challenge each other. The emergence of this sect of philosophers had Mrs.Socrates to thank for.
Stories of this kind abound, among which some famous people’s deathbed jokes stand out. Their gravitas is not for the common sort. The death of Socrates is most moving， written by Plato. Civic authority said he instigated youth by glib rhetoric and ordered him to commit suicide by taking poison. That night, he courageously took the poison. His students were all by his side, sorrow in their heart. Socrates talked about the truth as if nothing happened. His last famous line is: “ it just occurred to me. I still owed a rooster to such and such a person.” And made his students promise to repay one.This was his last word before he drew his last breath. Jin Shentan, a greatChinese Ming scholar, his last letter from jail after he had been sentenced to death followed the same vein.“chewing peanuts with dried Tofu tastes very much like bacon”. (not verbatim) Quite a few historical figures have died a graceful death like this. Just to name a few above.
A Spanish story says a Strait-laced earl is dying. A friend of his comes to visit. The earl is barely able to breathe but the visitor just keeps talking and talking. The earl can do nothing but listen quietly. In the end, the earl loses his patience and cuts the visitor off, “Pardon me! The Senor will forgive me and be so kind as to allow me to die presently.” He turns his face to the wall and dies immediately.
I have read about the long talk Jesus had with his disciples in his last night.My feeling is that this vivid remark is even more moving than Socrates’s swansong. And the last words before death on the cross Jesus uttered—“My lord,please forgive them for they don’t know what they have done”.—reflect the fact that Jesus’ magnanimity is a rarity among mundane humans. This is consistent with his true teaching: “He who gives shall be more blessed than he who receives.” It is a pity we humans know but wouldn’t act as such. Even if we do,we tend to fulfill little.
(英译首发于文学城.此处有修改.同时参考了FYS的翻译,在此声明致谢)
