That moment you have to face the family is perhaps the most dreadful moment. You can see it plainly on their face. Half hopeful, half terrified, feeble and helpless, they know what is to come, yet can it? Can it really have happened? And you kow, you are there to destroy that hope, to tell them that they will never, ever talk or laugh or argue or cry, with their loved one again.
You are confused. How are you supposed to feel? School teaches you about "empathy", the ability to feel for the family, yet detach yourself from their sadness. But they didn't teach you how to empathize. They also didn't teach you about dealing with the guilt, the regret, the disappointment, when you have lost your patient.
Standing somber, you say, "Mr./Mrs ---- has passed away..." You look at them, as they hug each other, console each other, cry with each other. That's when the reality of grief really hits you, yet somehow, you feel left out. You add, "I am really sorry." But you are not sure if you truly mean it. You want to get out of there, back behind the nursing station, where you can joke with your colleagues and pretend none of this has happened.
And as you turn away, you can't help reflecting. You pray, that you won't ever be in the same shoes of this family. You hope, that their loved one has gone somewhere better than this world.
To all the families who have lost their loved one,
Tears in Heaven
Would you know my name if I saw you in Heaven?
Would you feel the same if I saw you in Heaven?
I must be strong and carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong here in Heaven ......
Would you hold my hand if I saw you in Heaven?
Would you help me stand if I saw you in Heaven?
I'll find my way, through night and day,
'Cause I know I just can't stay here in Heaven .....
Time can bring you down, time can bend your knees.
Time can break your heart, have you begging .... please ...
Beyond the door, there's peace I'm sure.
And I know there'll be no more tears in Heaven .......
Would you know my name if I saw you in Heaven?
Would you feel the same if I saw you in Heaven?
I must be strong and carry on,
'Cause I know I don't belong here in Heaven .......
