I will fly
Comes the night
With unbearable quiet
To the farthest end of your endurances
I gently fly
Like a vessel from a feather
On the fleecy waves
Your soft breath is coming
Into my sight
So I follow the song
And found the hidden light
You are the brightest star
In my darkest night
I Will Fly
舞曼西楼 发表评论于
金秋君的version也不错！谢谢了：）
独立金秋 发表评论于
Comes the night
With unbearable quietness
To the farthest end of your endurances
I start my gentle flight
"vessel" is a general term for ship, boat and other load carrying vehicles. It is quite acceptable in this poem.
With unbearable quietness
To the farthest end of your endurances
I start my gentle flight
"vessel" is a general term for ship, boat and other load carrying vehicles. It is quite acceptable in this poem.
作舟 发表评论于
u r sooo welcome .... didn't mean to point out the "mistakes" ....thank you for sharing also!
舞曼西楼 发表评论于
谢谢作舟君的批改！你的版本的确好得多。我从没写过英文诗。 但我很喜欢读。望以后多多指教：））
作舟 发表评论于
I will fly
Night comes
With unbearable silence
The far end of your endurings
I gently fly
Like a vessel of feathers
On a fleecy sea
Your softly breathing
Into my ears....eyes....
So I follow the song
And found the hidden light
You are the brightest star
In my darkest night
............
i am not sure about "vessel" either ..... i would choose "ship" or "boat" even ....
Night comes
With unbearable silence
The far end of your endurings
I gently fly
Like a vessel of feathers
On a fleecy sea
Your softly breathing
Into my ears....eyes....
So I follow the song
And found the hidden light
You are the brightest star
In my darkest night
............
i am not sure about "vessel" either ..... i would choose "ship" or "boat" even ....
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