英文小鲜(4):开不了门的钥匙

古今中外事,都付笑谈中。
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春江水的 "Kids Are Funny(3)----Jokes From Kids"一帖中有个这样的问题:

Q: What kind of key does not unlock any door?

A: A monkey

这童言中流露出的机灵, 让我也想起另一则闪烁着伟大智慧的故事。这故事说的是民国第一外交家顾维钧的轶事。早年间的外交家比现在的要辛苦,没有飞机,外交官们还得坐海船(也叫邮船)出访他国。在那万恶的旧社会中国国力不振,洋鬼子人自然瞧不起唐人。 

顾维钧先生出访也坐邮船。邮船漂泊在大洋中,旷日持久,船上各色人等,来自不同国别,定会交友闲谈以打发时日。当时的顾维钧还不为洋人熟知,有一傲慢不羁的美国人见顾维钧他们长着黄皮肤扁鼻子,就用那并不召人喜欢的美国人傲慢腔想要调侃这些亚洲人: "Hay, are you Japanese or Vietnamese or Chinese?" 顾维钧回: "Sir, are you Yankee or Monkey or Donkey?"  

这是何等的英文能力,又是何等的中华智慧! 当时的亚洲,日本国地位第一,中国地位恐还不如越南。而对美国人来说,带"-ese"的国家都属劣等。所以,在他眼里,这些亚洲人无论来自三国中的任一国,都该是被歧视的对象。这时你看我们顾维钧先生的回答: 先生你是美国北方佬,或者是猴还是驴? 瞧瞧,从高等到低等,连次序都一样! 就好比中国对联的工整对仗,滴水不漏。中国人不是好欺负的,人不犯我,我不犯人。人若犯我,我必犯人,不过一般循对等原则,以牙还牙嘛。但这次顾先生没这么客气,那倒霉的美国佬虽话带侮辱,还是让人从日本人,越南人,中国人中三择其一。顾先生还以的三项选择那可就从人到了畜牲,而且还不是什么好畜牲,是笨驴。 按我们新中国的时髦话说, 顾维钧同志是机智地巧用英文不同词汇的谐音,以中华民族的智慧,大大打击了美帝国主义的嚣张气焰。 

这则故事或可收作华夏智慧的有力佐证,但真实性待考。写出来也只是给各位增添一段饭后茶余的笑料, 不过对春江水的问题我们又多了两个答案: 开不了门的钥匙还有两把: donkey Yankee

http://club.pojaa.com/viewthread.php?tid=6331&extra=page%3D1

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a Jew and a Chinese were debating who was the war criminal of starting the Pacific War.
The Jew proclaimed it was the Chinese who started the war by bombing the Pearl Harbor. The Chinese protested and told the Jew that it was the Japaness bombing the Pearl Harbor.
The Jew answered: Japaness, Vietnamess, Chinese, they are all the same!
The Chinese stood up and put a slap on the Jew's face: "You Jews sank the Titanic!".
The Jew shouted: Wait! The Titanic was sunk by iceberg! Didn't you know history?!
The Chinese shouted back: "Rosenberg, Steinberg, ICEBERG, they are all the same!"
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