connect again

this weekend. we talked again. He told me the hard situation, his dream, his struggling. I just can not ignore that. I know how hard I am now. But let him to give up his dream, his hope, from my point, just the same as kill sb. I know I give up again. instead of getting any progress, I even can not ask any more. If it is true,possible my sacrifice is deserved.if not, then I will hurt myself again.
From yesterday, dalsten got fever again. I am so much worry about him, hope he will be fine. Mom find there are some bad thing around his throat. this afternoon I am going to send him to doctor. Hope he will be fine. God bless my two babies.