如何知道你在国外太久了

Sherry, You Know You’ve Been in Quebec Too Long?
如何知道你在国外太久了

1. You use chopsticks (筷子) no more than 5 times per month;
2. You are getting pretty good with forks and knifes;
3. Toast and milk are breakfast everyday;
4. You watch “American Idol” & “Canadian Idol” to kill time;
5. You’re capable of watching “Grey’s Anatomy”, ”Lost”… Which are only on TV once per week – amazing patience for Chinese!!
6. You know American pop music and sing along to them in the car;
7. You go to bed at midnight and think it’s not so late;
8. You think 0 degree is nothing, -10 is not too bad;
9. You say “Tabarouette!“ or “Ostie!“ (swear in Quebecois-French) 3 times per day;
10. You are used to leaving nice tips in restaurant, hair salon, taxi…
11. You begin to buy original DVD’s and you think the price is kinda Ok;
12. You pay for everything with credit card;
13. You don’t know which animal year it is now in China;
14. People in your dreams speak French or English now;
15. You played a hockey video game with friend on the TV;
16. You can’t remember your phone number if you don’t say it in English;
17. You start to believe that a girl with heavy make-up and a sexy dress is actually only 14, not the 28 years old she looks like;
18. You eat fish and shrimp that have been dead for over 2 weeks, and they taste Ok;
19. You don’t remember when was last time you ate a fresh vegetable;
20. You consider shaving legs as a serious matter for girls;
21. You begin to think that people who have had 20 boyfriends or girlfriends in their life is pretty normal;
22. You begin to understand that 80% of couples here are not and will never get married;
23. Other Chinese on the street seem foreign to you;
24. You notice that Chinese have small eyes and low nose;
25. You think maybe you are actually A-cup instead of C-cup;
26. You are not scared when you see lady wearing bra doesn’t match clothes (black bra under white shirt); you still could stay clam when their bras are not strap-less under spaghetti strap top (吊带衫), and they are even extremely different colors;
27. You think wearing sandals (沙滩鞋) to work is acceptable;
28. When someone calls you “YanFei”, you don’t realize that’s your Chinese name;
29. You always say “Excuse Me!” while you sneezing (打喷嚏), even you are alone—in the toilet;
30. You say “Salut! Comment ?a va ?” (你好吗?) 100 times per day, even you knew you always get the same answer;
31. You don’t’ talk with your mouth-full—that’s unforgivable;
32. You put all your clothes in washer and dryer, even very expensive bras;
33. When people tell a sex joke, your face no longer turns red, you laugh with them instead;
34. You believe that humans cannot survive without owning a car;
35. You say “Mais là” often, and a lot of your sentences finish with “là” without realizing this word doesn’t mean anything;
36. You enjoy people looking at you when you’re walking down the street instead of being shy;
37. You don’t know where your sun-umbrella is, because you never use it—you don’t want be look like ET (外星人) from other planet;
38. Chinese look the same to you, and you begin to recognize Quebecois from their faces;
39. You are used to picking up the check (埋单) yourself, even if you eat with a man;
40. You think it’s right to think about yourself first before other people;
41. You don’t remember when was last time you went to Chinese supermarket;
42. You can use your fingers to count all the Chinese food you cooked here;
43. The air-conditioning is set at 20-22 degree in the office, and you still survive;
44. You don’t feel anything when you buy stuff “made in China” and it actually costs 20 times more than the price in China;
45. You believe Chairman Mao (毛泽东) is the biggest murderer in the world;
46. When you see a 10-story-building, you say: ”Wow! That’s really tall!”
47. You go to Montreal and you find there are “so many” people on the street;
48. Your French has an English accent, and your English has a French accent; and you’ve forgotten at least 3 dialects in China;
49. You drink cold water instead of hot water, even in winter;
50. You don’t eat at exactly the same time every day; and you only remember to eat when you’re hungry or you’ll die on the weekends;
51. You avoid to go to hospital even you are sick, because you know that you will wait 6 hours there for nothing;
52. You couldn’t finish your work the end of the day, but you don’t feel bad about it anymore;
53. You believe that you are brave girl, because you are the only one who could kill a spider and a cockroach in the house;
54. You bring a bottle of wine instead of flowers & fruits when you are invited for dinner;
55. It’s the 101rst times now reading《红楼梦》, because it’s the only Chinese book you have here that you could bring to toilet…