古老而光荣的海龟社(Ancient and Honorable Order of Turtles)徽章
海龟社起源于第二次世界大战的飞行员，他们在执行任务的间隙喝酒时用一些问题来娱乐，放松自己。每个问题看似会得到粗俗，猥亵或淫秽的答案，但实际正确的答案却是相当正经的。如今有至少20不同的分支海龟社在美国，由名人和高雅人士组成。要想加入这个组织，你必须成功回答从大约25个问题中挑出的四个问题。
一旦加入这个社团，如果被问到：“你是海龟吗？”
你必须回答：“You bet your sweet ass I am.”
如果由于种种原因（例如场合的限制）你不能如此粗俗的回答，那你就得请人喝酒了。
肯尼迪当总统开记者招待会时，曾经被人故意问到：“你是海龟吗？”
“@#&*...，我还是以后请你喝酒吧。”，肯尼迪答到。
下面是海龟社一些常见的问题，它们的答案根本不粗俗，猥亵或下流。
The answers to the following questions are neither vulgar, lewd, nor salacious.
- What does a woman do sitting down, that a dog does on three legs, and a man does standing up?
- What is a four letter word, ending with "k," that means intercourse?
- What is so long, and so hard, and sticks so far out of a man's pajamas in the morning, that he could hang a hat upon it??
- What does a cow have four of, that a woman only has two of?
- What is long, hard, and tubular and filled with "sea-men?"
- What is heard almost every day that rhymes with "duck" and begins with "F?"
- What does a dog do that a man steps into?
- What goes in hard and dry and comes out flaccid and moist?
- What is six inches long, has a head on it and is the object of many women's fantasies?
You must speak to a turtle to verify your solutions.
Wikipedia 关于海龟社的介绍
下面网上流传的故事，估计是根据海龟社的问题编出来的。其实世上很多问题都有不止一个答案，只是看你站在什么角度往什么方面想了。。。。
Are You Smarter Than a First Grader?
A first-grade teacher, Mrs. Robin Graber, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!"
Mrs. Graber had had enough. She took Harry to the principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Mrs. Graber he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Mrs Graber and tells her, "I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade."
Mrs. Graber says to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Mrs. Graber asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Mrs. Graber: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Mrs. Graber: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Mrs. Graber: What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Mrs. Graber: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Mrs. Graber: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Mrs. Graber: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told Mrs. Graber, "Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong...... "
人很容易受到误导，成心误导别人的人应受到处罚。。。
