not so easy second time

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I was cautious and suspicious when people told me the second baby would be very easy. I know every baby is different and I am not so sure how different the second one will be from the first. the older one was very alert and he did not like to sleep at all. if we ever want to get him to sleep, we had to hold him all the time. and some times, a lot of times, even that did not work. so the second one? let's see.and it turned out that the second one is just like the first one.
today is new year's day and he is 17 days old, his true color showed. he would pretend he fall into sleep after nursing, then right after we put him down to the crib, he will wake up and cry for attention. the great tiny love fancy mobile only worked for the first time, 20 min, after that he lost interest. he does sleep from time to time, but we never know when he would like to though. and he is a very health conscious eater. he follows the "eat small, eat often" rule. so the situation we are dealing with is that when we want him to eat, he falls into asleep and when we want him to sleep, he wants to get up.
and to make things more difficult, my left breast has a very forceful let down, so the flow is very fast and the baby can not handle it. so I have to pump it out and feed with a bottle. and the little one soon developed a taste of rubber. he likes the one time rubber nipple the used in the hospital and refused the wide neck nipple we bought. after trying several nipples and bottle combination, we had to accept the reality that we have to keep washing these little parts of these Dr. Brown bottles, ah, yesterday once more!!!
some people just can not have easy breast feeding. and I unfortunately is one of them. it is not an under supply problem, that would be easier. it is latch problem. my older son outgrow it at about 3 month. hope this one can catch up too. so far he seems to be better at eating. he worked very hard right after birth to get his food. he cried relentlessly to get what he wants. so we added formula the second day after he was born, despite the ugly faces of the nurse. he is quite happy after a good meal, making faces, smile, even giggled a little. but he would cry non stop if not fed. he gained back his weight on 6th day after birth. so the Dr. canceled 2 weeks check since there is nothing to check. but he got breast milk jaundice. still very yellow. we will have to get another blood test to see the bilirubin level tomorrow.

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