I got laid off today

(this is an old post back in 2008)

It's the first layoff I encountered in my career life.

Yesterday boss required everyone to show up in office at 9am. Today I was the first one arrived in office at 8am. Anyway, I already had some feeling that it will come to me with a high chance.

The office was exceptionally quiet, everyone was at work but didn't know what to do. At around 9:15am, our director came to me: "can we have a talk?". Oh man, it finally comes. In a meeting room, I started the conversation: "I guess it's my time?" The director gave me the package, saying "I am sorry..."

After that, my manager took me to meet a consultant who gave me some information/contacts for their consultation services. But it's hard for me to 100% focus on her words. Afterwards I picked up a paper box and my manager sent me to my table, telling me that I cannot login to my laptop, desktop, because otherwise he will be in trouble. He didn't even allow me to send out 'goodbye' email, not even go to say goodbye to coworkers...

Even though I thought I was prepared, when the moment came, I felt really really bad. When I shaked hands with my neighbour coworker (he is a chinese guy too, and I could say goodbye to him just because he sits next to me), I couldn't even say a word... my coworkers are good guys and I really enjoyed working with them, hanging out there with them, etc. I feel like if I stayed for one more second my tears would have come out from my eyes...but I tried hard to hold it. I can cry in front of my friends, but cannot cry in front of my manager.

At 10:15am, I am in my car on my way home with my packed stuff, saying goodbye my friends in my heart and my tears finally came out......I don't know what kind of future is waiting for me.