我要離婚了,該怎麼辦?

INTRODUCTION:”我要離婚了,我對美國的法律又不了解,老貓我該怎麼辦?” 久以來,這些問題與這個話題一直這個法律論壇一個主要話題, 老貓一直想寫一些東西有關這些問題,(如何開始,如何與對方商討一個離婚的協議)特別是當您考慮分居或是離婚時需要做的一些心理準備. 只是個人的工作加上家庭的一些不幸一直不容許老貓靜下心來寫一些東西,許許多多的因素一直延至到今天.碰巧最近處理一個案件時找到一份相當好的文件,所以稍加整理放在這裡,希望對大家有些幫助,如果內容有不妥之處,希望讀者見諒,也歡迎有經驗的朋友能夠加以指正.
但是請讀者特別注意這邊所談的只是一個基本的概念並不是說一定合乎每一州的離婚法律規定,所以希望讀者如果在考慮離婚時仍然應該諮詢法律專業以保障您個人的權益.
I. HOME (假設房屋的所有權狀(deed)是您們雙方的名字):
A. If the home is to be sold to one spouse or put up for sale: (特別是在目前房地產不景氣的情況下,或許這是比較合理的安排)
1. If sold to one spouse:(假設您們決定這麼做)
a) How much will buyer pay seller? (這或許是最好的方式,因為雙方一次將房價議定之後對於日後的贍養費的協商也比較方便)
b) when will payment be made? (如何辦理貸款與誰來負責付款…)
2. If put up for sale:(一些您們需要考慮的問題)
a)什麼時候來上市 ?
b) 誰來選擇地產經濟人?
c) 價格由誰來決定,誰來決定?
d) 賣房價款如何分配? (按比例,平分…)
e) 在賣房期間誰可以仍然住在這個房屋中? (一般的建議是由雙方中無收入或是收入較低的一方留守, 同時另外一方是否有權自由回家拿東西, 是否有自由動用雙方共有的物品…
f) 房價收入由誰來負責明年的稅捐? (增值與收入的部份)
g) 賣房前如果房屋需要修理,最高上限應該為何? 誰來負責與買主協商? 同時如果售後與買主有任何糾紛誰來負擔法律責任?

3. 如果雙方決定現在不賣房, (這可能就比較麻煩…):
a) 是否雙方仍可以住在一起?
　(I)如果雙方另外有異性的朋友,是否可以帶回來過夜? (這一定要說清楚,因為一旦離異,應該尊重對方的隱私權)
(II)如果因為某些因素雙方必須實際分居,誰應該在什麼時候搬遷

b) 對於現有的房貸或租金,誰來負責,如果單方無法負擔全部,是否應該與銀行重新協商或是雙方均攤, 比例為何？　是否應該將來在賣房款項中扣除都需要討論.
(特別注意,一般的情況在法律上法院無權要求您們一定要賣房,因此如果雙方因為任何原因無法同意處理房地產的問題導致任何損失,包括房屋被銀行收回拍賣,這個責任必須由您們雙方自行負責,同時在法律上很少有可能因為雙方的延宕造成房價的損失,您可以就這個別的損失要求對方賠償您的損失,所以雙方應該在事前談清楚.

c) Who will pay for major home repairs while it is being sold?
這個部份的一般情況是誰住在這棟房子中誰負擔維修,但是老貓看過幾個情況是國內來的朋友,到了面對有重大的損失需要與房屋保險公司協調時才發現原來的房屋保險是由另外一方負責,但是對方因為沒有繼續繳納保險費,所以實際的保險已經失效,因此這個部份一定要特別注意.

d) Who will pay for minor home repairs while it is being sold?
當賣房時需要做那一些整修工程,誰來負責找人做,誰來付錢,最好事先講清楚寫明白,以免將來糾紛.

e) Major home repairs are those over what dollar figure?
中心的問題是要花多少錢,誰來出錢?? 總之這些問題都應該講清楚. 不要嫌麻煩,因為現在不講清楚,如果多年後加上另外一方另外組成家庭,到時候就不容易處理了.
4. Will the spouse that moves out agree not to re-enter the home without the permission of the party who stays there?
這是最麻煩的問題,誰可以在什麼情況下回來,同時可否動用任何物品,都應該說清楚,否則會很麻煩,記住一點一旦正式分居成立 , 您原來配偶所居住的地方(就算是您原本的家)也屬於”私人產業”,未經准許,您不能隨便進入,否則對方可以報警處理. 同時如果對方換了門鎖,您也不能自己僱用鎖匠換鎖或是強行闖入,在美國這是違法的行為.
II. FURNITURE, FURNISHINGS AND ACCESSORIES:
(a)家具如何劃分, 其餘蠻麻煩的,讀者不要覺得好笑,不妨看看一部老電影,(麥克道格拉斯主演的”玫瑰戰爭”您就知道老貓講得是什麼了)
1. Will or has each spouse already taken his or her share and the spouses agree to that division; or
2. Will all items be listed on two separate lists -- one for each spouse?
這個部份最好有一個詳細的清單,雙方簽字認可否則將來比較會有麻煩.

3. When will the spouse who is moving remove his or her property?
一般的情況是最好有第三者在場,免得一言不合,又打起來
4. What payment, if any, is due from one spouse to the other as a result of this division?
銀行帳戶,信用卡債務,(這個最後會另外有說明),CASH最好都有明確異協議 ,不要嫌麻煩老貓看過好幾次,離婚幾年之後才發現您們仍然有財務上的糾紛,(特別是配偶共同使用的信用卡是最麻煩的)
B. List all motor vehicles by name(s) on title, year make, model, and lienholder (this is company to which payments are made)
有關車的問題,個人的建議是最好將名字從TITLE中拿出,以免一方出了車禍之後,您還要為對方的錯誤負責,同時車的保險應該也一併處理清楚不要有所糾纏..
對於車的貸款
1. 誰來負擔?
2. 如果付不出來如何處理?
3. 如果雙方分居在不同的州,誰來負擔當年的牌照稅,都應該說清楚,
III. DEBTS: (債務)
A. 已經欠下的債務:
1. Who will pay for debts made just in one spouse’s name?
這是最麻煩的,因為有一個趨勢是一些國內的朋友喜歡在婚姻亮起紅燈時,大量向信用卡公司借債, 一旦分居後拍拍屁股回國, 將債務留給配偶去處理. 許多朋友往往以為錢是另外一半借的,當然由對方來還,但是事實上在美國大部份的州對於婚姻之間UNDER共同財產所欠下債務需要由雙方依據比例(欠債的比例或是共由有財產的比例的多寡來攤還,尤其在施行COMMUNITY PROPERTY的州(如加州,),基本上婚姻內的債務是一人一半,但是依California FAMILY.CODE SECTION 2623(b)如果另外一半可以證明對方所欠的債務與子女或是個人無關,可以由法官裁決不需要負責. (所以一個良好的財產清單與財務紀錄是很重要的,因此雙方應該在商討離婚時應該考慮ORDER一個信用報告,以便釐清雙方債務的關係同時雙方應該就所有銀行與信用卡的往來紀錄做一個檢討)


中心的問題是,IS it necessary to list debts? (The Answer is : YES IT IS VERY IMPORTANT FOR YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE DO THIS …List all the number, name and address of each creditor, amount presently owed, and who will pay for each debt.)
B. For debts made after separation, will each spouse be responsible for all debts made by that spouse .(看在老天的份上,這個部份一定要說清楚否則將來追究起來實在很麻煩,事實上有些州允許您可以凍結您個人的信用,所以沒有您書面的許可,任何人不能用您的名義申請任何信用貸款,如果您在一定的時間之內不需要另外申請新的貸款或許這是一個 可能的方式來保障您個人的權益). .
1. After their separation; or
2. After this agreement is signed?
C. If one spouse has co-signed a loan but the other spouse used the proceeds, will that spouse agree to ask the lender to release the other from liability on that loan?
IV. CASH, STOCKS, BONDS AND BANK ACCOUNTS, ETC.:
A. List all cash, stocks, bonds, savings accounts, checking accounts, savings certificates, and credit union balances and state the location of each.
B. Who will own each? If an item is to be divided, state in what shares or prepare a list for each spouse?
V. RETIREMENT: (基本上在大部份的情況配偶有權要求取得部份或是一定比例的數額,但是一般的情況您必須等待到配額退休或是其他特殊的情況才能取得這筆錢,所以與其一根吃不到嘴的胡蘿蔔懸在枝頭,不如雙方白紙黑字寫明白或是直接一次買單不要拖延下去)
A. If either spouse has a retirement benefit or pension or profit-sharing plan?
1. What is the name and address of administrator of the plan?
2. What is the percentage or dollar amount of each party’s pension that is to be given to the other spouse?
B. What agreement has been reached about a joint and survivor annuity in the event of the pensioner’s death . . .
1. Before retirement?
2. After retirement?
VI. SUPPORT:
A. Spousal support:
1. Will one spouse pay support to the other? If so:
a) state amount and whether payments will be made weekly, every other week, twice a month or monthly;
b) on what day or date will support be paid? (最好是由對方薪資中自動轉帳,一般的公司的人事部門都會願意協助員工這麼做)
c) on what date will it start?
d) where will it be paid?
e) will support cease if the supported spouse lives with an unrelated person of the opposite sex or upon remarriage?
f) upon death of the paying spouse, will his or her estate continue payments as long as funds are available in the estate? (特別是雙方應該考慮建立一個信託基金說明如何處理這個部份,以免將來如果一方另外有新的伴侶…會因此造成麻煩)
g) or, upon the paying spouse’s death, will the surviving spouse receive life insurance death benefits?(個人的建議是有關人壽保險的部份最好有單獨的保險,不要與現有的混合在一起,否則如果將來另外一方令組家庭,對方可以更改受益人,所以您一點也得不到)
2. In addition to the above, will the paying spouse also be responsible for the medical, dental, hospital, drug and optical expenses of the other spouse? If so, what percentage or amount of these expenses?
(特別是許多州對於沒有醫療保險的一方會要求您說明要如何處理,但是通常這有一定的年限,所以不是說您一輩子都要養著對方)
3. If there is a health insurance policy now in force:
how long will it cover spouse? (一般的情況是到下一年度為止,所以雙方應該仔細review這個保險的條例)
B. Child Support:
1. Will one parent pay support to the other for child support? If so?
a) state amount and whether payments will be made weekly, every other week, twice a month or monthly;
b) on what day or date will support be paid?
c) on what day will it commence?
d) where will it be paid?
e) upon death of the paying parent, will his or her estate continue payments as long as funds are available in the estate?
f) will support cease or be prorated if the child visits with the paying parent for extended periods?
2. In addition to the above, will paying parent also be responsible for the medical, dental, hospital, drug and optical expenses of the child? If so, what percentage of these expenses?
同時為了避免不必要的麻煩,雙方應該說明如果對方在收入有變化時應該如何處理,如果對方失業之後,是否應該負擔現有的數額或是停止支付到找到工作之後,或是如果對方收入增加是否應該有所調整,同時美國現在物價波動的很厲害,所以是否應該隨住物價的變更做出一定的調整都應該列入考慮)
當然大部份的州法律上允許配偶每年可以依法要求根據現況”調整這個數字”但是如果情況有變,與其上法院浪費時間與精神,不如現在就說清楚.
重要的是您不是要逼死對方而是在合理合情的狀況下取得最好的解決方式.,因此不要以為老娘咬死你,老娘就出了氣…2006年的數據是在美國大約40%的先生付不出足夠的child support.或是遲延付出.
3. 對於子女的醫療保險的部份)
a) until what age will it cover child? (一般是18歲,但是有的州是到21歲)
b) will insured provide like coverage if it is canceled or dropped?
c) is it with employer or privately owned?
d) what is the name and address of insurance company?
4. Will support continue after each child turns eighteen if he or she is still enrolled in school? If so, will it stop . . .
a) after the child reaches a certain age;
b) when the child completes a certain amount of education;
c) when the child marries, or
d) when the child joins the armed forces?
5. If the child goes to college or vocational school:
a) who will choose the school?
b) what will be paid?
(1) room and board?
(2) books?
(3) tuition?
(4) fees?
(5) transportation home at break?
(6) food/eating out allowance?
c) for how long will expenses be paid?
d) will there be any change in the amount of support when child is away and living at school?

VII. CUSTODY AND VISITATION:
A. Will custody be:
1. Solely with one parent? Which one?

2. Joint physical custody? If so:
a) with whom shall the child reside and for what periods?
b) what effect will this have on child support, if any?
3. Joint legal custody? If so:
a) what will happen if the parents cannot agree on any specific major decision regarding the child?
(1) who will be the tie-breaker?
B. Visitation
1. Will this be defined as “at reasonable times” or will there be a schedule?
2. Will advance notice be required for non-scheduled visits and, if so, how much?
3. Will there be special arrangements (such as alternating every other year or half days each year) for special occasions?
a) child’s birthday
b) Christmas holidays
c) Thanksgiving
d) Easter
e) Father’s Day/Mother’s Day
4. Will there be special arrangements for:
a) school vacation periods
b) each parent’s vacations times
c) school activities
d) other opportunities (athletics, dance, music, etc.)
5. Will custodial parent inform the non-custodial parent can take the child during visits? If so, what are they?
6. Will there be any limitation on where the non-custodial parent can take the child during visits? If so, what are they?
7. Any provision about removal of residence from area, and, if so, does that affect visitation or support?
8. Any rights of visitation for grandparents or other relatives?

VIII. INCOME TAXES
A. File jointly or separately for the current tax year? [parties entitled to file as “married” if they are not divorced by last day of the calendar year]
B. If filing jointly, how will any tax refund be divided?
C. If filing jointly, how will any tax liability be divided?
D. Who will get the dependency exemption and child tax credit for each of the children?
IX. LIFE INSURANCE
A. Give company name/policy number.
B. On life of either spouse or on child:
1. Who will be the beneficiary of each policy?
2. Who will pay the premiums?
3. Who will be the owner of each policy?
X. ATTORNEYS FEES
A. Who will pay each spouse’s attorney?
1. For work done on this agreement if either side needs services of private attorney?
2. For any future divorce?
老實說寫了這麼多只想告訴您,建立一個離婚的協議不是這麼容易的,所以請您珍惜您的婚姻,不要輕言放棄,只能真心希望您白頭到老.