近期忙得八爪朝天，不知是不是Joe的一句“you are one- of- a- kind”令我重拾对工作的激情，每天的嬉笑怒骂应对决断让人有了叱咤风云的错觉与快感。嚣张的气焰到了家里就开始低落，不知道这可不可以算做工伤。
上周末尾随朋友一天奉命捏照，因为之前没做好功课，以至到了自由女神像前却无法拍出能看的照片，只有这张8黑还可一看，送给二歪一解相思耳。
最近二黑表现不错，每每主动提出送我去某处shopping，可等我真买了东西，他又痛心疾首：你怎么可以老买东西呢？这太浪费，这是污染，这不环保、、、
环保看来是他唯一真正投注过关心的问题，我却没有他的博大情怀，只忽闪着眼睛作无辜状：可我穿这个真的很好看呀！
可你穿什么都挺好看的呀！
闻此言，一时不知该喜该怒。想起高子曾有文：就算是甜言蜜语，也是said it in a mean way。悲乎哉，老夫老妻。
周日又在店里对着一双短靴发呆，买吧，周六刚搬回来一双；走吧，我又觉得自己肯定会后悔。MJ犹豫之际，赫然看到鞋盒里贴了一封信：
Hello. This note is going to seem very strange, and I have serious reservations about even writing it, but the circumstances are unusual, so I’ll take a chance. I was on a walk tonight and I noticed that your car has Colorado plates. I met a girl several weeks ago (maybe 3), who was from Colorado, but I haven’t run into her since. By chance, are you Julie who went to Creighton and is a pre-vet student at the University? If so, I met you in the computer lab on the last day of summer session. You seemed like a very down-to-earth person and I hoped that we might meet again. I completely chickened out instead of giving you my phone number or asking you out. All I remember is bumping into you in the lab – I said “what are you working on”… I had been there for hours typing a paper… you turned your computer monitor towards me and said, “well, I just bought these Jeffery Campbell Shoes on line… study break!”
I like your smile, and your taste in shoes. So I’m going out on a limb here by leaving a hope. Trust me when I say that This is *EXTREMELY* out of character for me. I hope I haven’t made you uncomfortable in any way. You made an impression on me and I’d kick myself for passing up a second opportunity to give you my #. Please don’t take this as some kind of a crazy stalker note. Maybe I’ll hear form you, though I’d be very surprised given how weird this seems.
Take Care.
---Alex ****
This letter was found and anonymously mailed to our LA Office in 2006. It was post-marked Boise, Idaho. There was no return address. We never found the sender, or the girl mentioned in the letter.
这比山楂还山楂的纯情故事怎么就被我碰上了，这鞋要再不买，简直是天理难容嘛。赶紧拎回家向二黑献宝，二黑一读之下，嗤之以鼻：这么明显的marketing你居然还当真？
此人何止是不浪漫，简直是很阴暗。我怒道：这有什么好marketing的？！
那你不是买了么？
语塞。再定睛看时，居然我那鞋也根本不是什么Jeffery Campbell的。整个事件看起来都是那么错乱，但只要我神气活现地穿上了这棕色的小短靴，又有什么深究的必要。
8黑二年级的老师似乎很对2黑的口味，想来应该是头发不似Mrs. Gallo般梳得高耸入云，且喜欢用电脑交流。我们也用全新的眼光打量着8黑，希望他能重整旗鼓重新做人，给新老师一个好印象一洗一年都没得过student of the month之耻——2黑那天在听我第N次提此事时耸耸肩道：That’s okay, he’s just not Mrs. Gallo’s favorite.
这样的话在好胜如我者听来，即使算不上晴天霹雳，至少也带了点儿直面人生的非凡勇气，一时之间，百感交集。
然而8黑同学竟自一落千丈了。想从前，我还曾得意洋洋地发贴扬言黑家出了个大诗人，现在不仅没有诗人之风采，每周2篇Journal可用惨不忍读来形容。有一天的很有代表性，摘之：
Date: 09/29/10
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I went to Six Flags for a ride on the water. For most of the rides, I was too small. But first I went to the water-park. I loved the dumping part, I got to dump water on people, he-owwwww!!!-ads-man!
Now, let’s get back to the ride. The line was LONG!!! Oh was in ever! I had to wait 30 minutes-it’s half an hour! Finally we got to in. Yay! The ride! It was so wild…. But……
Ummmm, if you want to know more information, go to TONY***.com. Hopefully you’ll not find it! I hipe you don’t. If not, I don't have any extra work to do!
如果非要从这段很弱智的话里找笑点，我想这but以后的应该挺有趣的了。结果老师开始评判：
第一段的AHHHHHH被置疑：why is this here? How does it relate to your story?
But后面的全部被框起来，评：No. This is not acceptable. You need to write the end of your story.
我还没来得及抹杀之前的笑意以保持与老师的一致，8黑的应对让我彻底晕倒：
End of Story:
The AHHHHHH!!! belonged to the ride. End!
今早临出门前8黑说前面头发挡着眼睛，于是我当机立断三两剪解决了一下问题。晚上到家越看这锅盖头越觉得滑稽可笑，说：你看起来像个傻丫头。
他又展示了强大的中译英能力：You mean I look like silly goose with a human head?
