I was going to have a nice thanksgiving. I went to church, try to get some wisdom from Price, making myself happier. His preach only make know how good you have a thanksgiving heart, but not make me know how to be thankful. I find myself more guilty when I complain, the result is I am less happy. Last night, was thanksgiving Monday night, hate is full of my heart. I'm too angry to sleep. Is God punishing me? When I know every of my friends was taken care when after giving birth, I am out of rage. Giving birth is such a happy thing, but his mom is so down, and never come to visit us. God, I can never forgive her. I want her go to hell, I want she is killed soon, I don't want to see her anymore. God, I cannot imagine how can I have a close relationship with this kind of bitch, she is so cheap, but try to make herself expensive. God, kill her, kill her, no matter what happen. I just hate her.
