3/6 星期日

日子过得飞快．生活中很多事情，我喜欢忙碌的感觉，会比较少有时间去担心不必要的事情．上周整整一周的Ｏｎｓｉｔｅ　ｗｏｒｋｓｈｏｐ，所有人都忙得人仰马翻，我每天早晨８点到公司，晚上９点走，回家后倒头就睡，真的是没有一点时间去想那些ｂｏｔｈｅｒｉｎｇ我的事情．忙得格外愉快，日子充实，从上到下，人人对我的评价都很好，老板说明年有可能给我升级．我开始明白为什么有人会以工作为人生最大乐趣，成就感和被需要的感觉，特别是对于单身的人，没有家人的需要，不知道这是好还是坏．我对工作的热情越来越高涨，对ｐｅｒｓｏｎａｌ　ｌｉｆｅ的投入则越来越少，会不会真的成wｏｒｋａｈｏｌｉｃ？在现在的公司里有种如鱼得水的感觉，这次的ｐｒｏｊｅｃｔ由于原来的担当者的退出，暂时由我代理．绝好的机会，从ｓｕｐｐｏｒｔ　ｐｏｓｉｔｉｏｎ过渡到Pｒｏｊｅｃｔ　Ｍａｎａｇｅｒ，ｉｔ　ｍｉｇｈｔ　ｂｅ　ｔｈｅ　ｂｅｓｔ　ｃａｒｅｅｒ　ｐａｔｈ　Ｉ　ｃｏｕｌｄ　ｅｖｅｒ　ｄｅｓｉｇｎ．很多部门参与这个Pｒｏｊｅｃｔ，从Ｂｕｓｉｎｅｓｓ　Ｏｐｅｒａｔｉｏｎ　ｔｅａｍｓ到ＨＫ，ＳＧ，ＣＨ　ｏｆｆｉｃｅｓ，有机会和这些人一起工作，对于刚加入不过１年的我，实在是难得的机会．ＰＭ是很辛苦的位置，人人都有话要说，要调节一切让每个人都HＡＰＰＹ，实在需要很大的努力．我也在逐渐改变自己，我本来的性格很简单，直来直去，喜欢厌恶都放在脸上，说违心的话对于我来说，难于上青天．但是，人最了不起的能力大概就是会适应环境，达尔文的理论，适者生存．很多时候，我会费心去察言观色，Ｏｐｅｒａｔｉｏｎ　ｌｅａｄｅｒ是个怪脾气的人，但却是整个Ｐｒｏｊｅｃｔ中非常重要的人物，为了得到她的完全配合，我会顺着她的话说一些自己觉得根本没必要的话．实际去做了，其实也不是很难，微笑，第一要微笑，不管什么时候，哪怕气得想把东西摔到对方脸上，还是要微笑，就如同一张面具，只要在公司，就挂在脸上．注意观察，开口之前要先仔细听，很多时候我做得还不够完美，但这种改变的过程也是一种成长．

周五会去公司附近的BＡＲ，喝上一杯算是放松，也顺便做些ｓｏｃｉａｌ　ｎｅｔｗｏｒｋ．公司的人，特别是IＴ部门的，都习惯来这个BＡＲ喝上一杯，随便聊聊，一回生二回熟．前天和ｆｉｘ　ｉｎｃｏｍｅ的人一起，想不到我还是个名人，在我自报家门之前，人家都知道我的大名，还声称在BＢＱ　ｐａｒｔｙ和我聊过，我却一点印象没有,　ＬＯＬ．本来打算只喝１杯，结果最后一直待到BＡＲ关门，回家倒头就睡，快活得很．

Kevin back to Oki. We chatted on phone sometimes, joking around... Somehow he gives me this impression that he does care how I feel, but he wouldnt make it clear. The other day I was saying it like a joke, not very serious, 'Dude r u still in love with me?' He was being quiet, and said my question a bit forward. Then I said, 'Alright, I take it back. Its me who still in love with you, happy?' Somehow he freaked out, 'Its just its been a long time, how can you still say nthat?' I was totally dumb at the moment, think about this, I just done a big presentation, and finally big bosses all happy, so I was totally relaxing and not thinking about anything or even not trying to play any trick. So I said, 'Yes, its been a long time, but if I dont love you, why the hell i do care where you r, or what you doing, happy or not? Do you have a better explanation? Easy, I just state the fact, dont over think about it, ok?' Kevin was quiet since then, I guess he pissed, not sure why, but I guess my attitude wasnt 'silly' (he refers it as in a cute way, lol) enough... I know sometimes I am being too rational and realistic, which is not cute at all, but... I had spent all my energy pretending whatever at work, so with him, I am not planning to pretend anything. This is me, either like or not, up to him.

Work is going well, personal life sucks as usual, lol. 'Life is a bitch', I say, f#ck it.